“What were you trying to do anyway? You should know better than to come here again, after everything that happened before.” Angel stared down at Drusilla, his arms holding either side of the chair on which she was sitting. “Even I can’t be here anymore,” he added quietly.

“That’s ‘cause you love ‘er. My Angel loves the Slayer; I knew that. But when my Spike fell in love with the Slayer. Well that’s different.” Drusilla closed her eyes and rolled her head around in lazy circles.

“Dru, you left Spike. He didn’t even feel this way then. Dru!” He shook her gently, forcing her to open her eyes.

“Yes he did love. He loved ‘er right from the start, right from that first night.”

“At the school?”

“At the Bronze. ‘E came home very happy that night. We made love for hours.” Dru half closed her eyes again, informing the souled vampire that she was lost in the past, remembering the happy times she and Spike had shared. Angel frowned. He didn’t like the thought that his Childe had been in love with Buffy all this time. He understood, albeit reluctantly, that being at such close quarters to the Slayer, as Spike was these days, he had had no alternative but to give in to a force that was purely Buffy. Angel had done that himself. However, Dru’s revelations changed everything in his mind. All of Spike’s past actions had to be called into question. It set a few things straight at least and he smiled slightly when he thought of how much Spike must have hated it.

Dru’s eyes were open again, staring into his, trying to read what was in his mind. “That’s why I left him. Because of her.”

“And now you want revenge on Buffy because you think she took him away from you.”

Drusilla frowned slightly. “I love my Spike. He was corrupted by that wh…”

“Dru.” Angel growled threateningly.

“I had a dream about them. Riley was supposed to kill the Slayer, and then Spike would kill Riley.”

“And then you and Spike would live happily ever after,” Angel completed as Drusilla nodded happily.

“But it went wrong, and now I don’t know what to do,” Drusilla began to cry. Like a child, Drusilla cried easily and she used it to her advantage. Spike had been unable to see her cry, always allaying the situation before the tears began to fall. Angelus however, had loved it. He loved having the power to hurt this beautiful creature.

Angel sighed and wrapped his arms around her. Whatever she had done, she was his and he didn’t really want her to die at Buffy’s hands. He was sure that wasn’t what Spike would want either. “Would you leave? Would you go and never come back. You’d have to promise me Dru. I can arrange it if you promise me.” Drusilla gazed up at him, unsure. “For Spike,” Angel urged.

“Alright. I promise.”

*************************

Cordelia slowly circled the fountain in the courtyard outside Giles’ home. She’d had a weird few days, a weird few weeks all said and done. She hated witnessing Angel as Angelus. He was her best friend, though she’d never admit that to anyone. She hated seeing him so changed.

And Faith. There was something she didn’t want to think about. Cordelia had been hurt least of anyone when Faith had awakened from her coma, intent on revenge, but she had seen the pain Faith had inflicted on Wesley, heard about her treatment of Buffy and the gang, and Cordelia had refused to have anything to do with the girl. But the idea that she would never see Faith again was strange to her. As she had said earlier, Faith always seemed so full of life. The night’s events had brought home to Cordelia once again, just how dangerous the job she was doing was. And it scared her. It scared her so much she was afraid to tell anyone, afraid they would think badly of her.

She sat down on the edge of the fountain, wondering when her life had got so complicated. And then the pain came. The excruciating hurt that accompanied a vision from the Powers That Be. She clutched her head, screaming as the ache overtook her in waves.

Dark, Spike, chained to a wall, caves, oh God the pain, no screaming, Riley, laughing, dust, dark.

Wesley and Angel looked briefly at each other when the screaming started, and then hurtled out into the courtyard. Angel’s body began to smoke under the harsh light of the sun, and Wesley quickly pushed him back indoors before racing to Cordy. She had fallen backwards into the water, not noticing her surroundings once the pain of the vision had suffused her body.

Wesley scooped her out the water and carried her inside. She choked on the water which she had swallowed and coughed violently. Oz hopped of the couch, Tara moving with him to ease him into the armchair, and Wesley laid Cordelia down gently.

“Cor?” Angel was beside her in a second. “Cor? Are you ok?”

“I hate those things. I hate the stupid visions, I hate the immense pain, and I hate almost drowning just ‘cause Doyle was in love with me! And there isn’t enough money in the world to justify having to suffer them.” Cordelia glared at Angel. “I hope you realise what I do for you.”

“I know,” Angel smiled as he gently brushed her wet hair back from her face. “Don’t think I don’t appreciate it.” He kissed her forehead. “Wanna tell me about the vision?”

“Oh God, Angel,” Cordy exclaimed, sitting up agitatedly as she remembered. “Riley, he had Spike, in some caves.” She started to shiver and Wesley placed the blanket from the back of the couch around her shoulders.

“Spike? Riley had Spike?”

“Yeah, and Spike, God he was in so much pain. Riley was torturing him, but he wouldn’t scream or shout. He just took it. And then Riley killed him. Poof.” Cordy looked nervously at her boss. “Angel?”

Angel was considering how his soul would react to him committing cold-blooded murder for the first time in two and a half years. He had always hated Riley; from the very first second he had seen the boy talking to Buffy outside the coffee shop last year. When he had finally had an encounter with him, Angel realised that it wasn’t just the fact he was dating Buffy that made him want to shove red-hot pokers through his chest.

He had hurt Buffy, killed Faith, and now Riley was going to kill Spike. Yes Angel was definitely going to kill him.

Granted things hadn’t been right between Sire and Childe since they had met up again a few years previously. Angel’s soul, Angel losing his soul, Angelus sleeping with Dru… ‘So maybe it was all your fault.’

Spike betraying him and then trying to kill him. Twice. ‘Maybe not.’ But Spike was Angel’s favourite Childe. They’d been friends and brothers for years, before Angel’s restored soul had broken their happy family apart.

There was no way he was going to allow Riley to take one more person he loved. His face changed, his true form emerging as his anger built. “Where is he Dru?”

**************************

Part 5

Spike leant against the kitchen counter his hands braced either side of him. Xander had thoughtfully drawn the kitchen blinds so the blonde vampire could move freely from room to room, without fear of messing up Joyce’s clean floors. Ash, Spike had learnt through time, was hell to shift.

He didn’t really understand what was going on, but then he hadn’t been able to grasp anything much in the last few months. His perfect existence had been ruined, by one small behavioural correction chip, and one small Vampire Slayer. He couldn’t even blame Angel anymore. ‘Bloody poof.’ Insulting him always made him feel better though.

He switched off the boiling kettle and poured Buffy’s drink. ‘If someone had told you this time last year, that you’d be doing errands for the Slayer, willingly doing errands for her, you’d have laughed in their face. Now look at you. Moping around, making sure she’d all tucked up safe. What’s the matter with you? You’re getting as bad as Daddy.’

“You love her, huh?”

Spike looked up. Anya. He smiled. Another of the Scoobies he could stand. In fact he liked Anya as much as he liked Willow. At least she understood how he felt. Her experiences as a demon certainly made her better company than… well truthfully he didn’t have any company to compare her to. Except Harmony. Spike snorted. He’d rather have Xander for company.

“Who?” No need to make it too easy.

“Buffy.”

“No.”

“Liar.”

“Please tell me it’s not that obvious.” Spike requested sardonically.

“Well I think Willow knows. But that’s all,” Anya reassured him. “And Giles I think. But no one else.” Spike sighed. Well as long as Buffy didn’t know. And the Whelp.

“Oh God no, Xander knows nothing,” Anya supplied hastily, correctly interpreting the look of horror which had formed on Spike’s face at the thought.

“Can’t disagree with that one luv,” Spike laughed. “Don’t know what you see in the wanker.”

“What do you love about Buffy?” Anya teased.

“Oh lets not play that game. I really don’t want Buffy to know that I…”

“Oh, right. And of course, Buffy knows,” Anya supplied, happy that she had remembered the final person who knew Spike’s secret.

“What?”

“Spike I’ve had a lot of experience in the area of men and women. Not exactly enough to have an easy relationship with a teenage mortal man, but enough to know that you’ve got it really bad for out favourite Slayer, and that she’s got it bad for you.”

Spike looked at her sharply and his eyes lit up. “Really? You think she…?”

“Definitely. She just doesn’t know it yet.” There, Anya had done it. She’d made her friend feel better. Who said this mortal stuff was hard? Piece of cake. “As long as nothing happens with Angel, you’ll be fine.”

*****************************

“Well, uh, it seems to me that…” Giles trailed off as the four youngsters stared at him expectantly. “I’m sorry, I really have no idea.”

Buffy slumped back down onto the couch, while Faith stood and started pacing the room. “Do we really need further explanation?” Willow asked, “I mean Faith’s Buffy’s Guardian, she’s here to help, what more do we need?”

Xander nodded emphatically in agreement. “Right, shouldn’t we be researching the big evil that’s on its way here? Then we’ll know what Faith’s purpose is.”

Giles removed his glasses. “Yes, I think that might be best Xander. If the people who sent Faith back couldn’t explain it all properly, I doubt there’s much information about it. I’ve never heard of such a phenomenon, so I think we should just take it as it stands.”

As Spike and Anya re-entered from the kitchen with a tray of drinks, the phone rang and Xander went to answer it. “Summers’ residence. Buffy is unavailable to take your call right now, as she’s being mollycoddled by her mortal enemy. Can I take a message?”

“Xander. Stop messing around. I need to speak to Buffy, it’s important.”

“Well, Angel, what a nice surprise.”

“Xander!” Angel snarled warningly.

“Yeah, ok. Buff it’s for you.” He tossed her the phone and looked worriedly at her. Angel had sounded deadly serious.

“Angel, what? Spike? No, he’s here. What? Why? Cordy what? I’m sorry? Angel, we have to do something, we have to find him. No. No I’ll go now. What? Don’t be ridiculous. We’ll all look. You, Beth and Oz stay there with Dru. Anya can wait here with Spike, unless you think we should bring him there first. No, ok, you’re probably right. Yes. Well of course. I am hurrying.”

Buffy hung up the phone and tossed it back to Xander, while extracting herself from the clutches of the blanket.

“Buffy what’s going on?” Spike demanded. The Slayerettes had sat silently throughout the conversation, trying to establish what was happening. “What did Angel say?”

Buffy avoided Spike’s gaze, looking around the room at everyone else. “Will, Xand, Giles, Faith I want you guys to go look for Riley. It’s very important. Cordelia had a vision. He’s going to do something…” She trailed off. “Please. Find him quickly.”

“We will Buffy,” Willow assured her friend as she pushed Xander out of the room ahead of her, pulling on the sleeve of Giles’ coat as she passed him. Giles looked down and saw the fear in Buffy’s eyes. He turned immediately and followed Willow and Xander.

“Why can’t I go?” Anya demanded.

“’Cause I need you to stay here and look after Spike while I’m out searching.” Buffy started to walk towards the stairs. “Spike.” She gestured for him to follow her.

************************

Buffy closed the door to her bedroom and turned to find Spike directly behind her, gazing at her intently.

“What is going on Slayer?”

Buffy swallowed audibly. “Cordelia’s vision was about you.”

“Me?”

Buffy nodded. “Riley torturing you and then kill…” She couldn’t finish. The idea made her feel sick.

Spike grasped Buffy by her upper arms and pulled her close to him. “Buffy’s he’s not going to…”

“No you’re right, he’s not,” Buffy agreed pulling out of his grip, “I’m not going to let him.” She started to pack her Slayer bag. Riley may not be a vampire or a demon, but he was a threat. She had failed to protect Faith. She was not going to let him hurt Spike.

“You stay here. No one comes in, no one goes out. Do you understand me?”

“Buffy…”

“Do you understand me?” Buffy repeated, staring Spike down authoritatively.

“Yes.”

“Good.” She walked past him and opened the door.

“Buffy?” Spike caught her wrist and pulled her to him. He stared down at her, longing to kiss her beautiful lips. But there was a time and a place for everything, and this certainly wasn’t it. “Take care,” he said softly and kissed her forehead.

**************************

Wesley didn’t know what they were doing. He, Cordelia and Tara were searching for a 20 year old, former military agent, who had gone totally off the rails and was now trying to brutally kill whoever he could lay his hands on. Not good.

Cordelia sighed. She was angry. Fear and pain. They made her angry. So her new perspective on death, her experiences with ‘evil Angel’ and the torment inflicted on her in the form of visions, had all combined to make Cordy Sunnydale’s angriest citizen. When they found this Riley guy, she was going to kill him herself. Sure she didn’t have fluffy bunny feelings for Spike, but at least you knew where you stood with the guy. God save them from good guys gone bad. “God save us from Buffy’s psycho boyfriends,” she muttered unfairly.

Tara wasn’t sure they were doing this right. She was the only one of them who had ever seen Riley in real life, so they were rather depending on her to lead them. And Tara didn’t like being in charge. It made her nervous. She didn’t even know what they were supposed to do if they found Riley. She was hoping that her group leadership would end when she pointed him out to the veteran Scoobies.

******************************

“What happened to Riley to make him do this?” Willow asked Xander as they searched the ruins of the high school. “Why’d he go all mean all of a sudden?”

“He thinks Buffy doesn’t love him,” Xander informed the redhead, turning automatically toward the library and the hellmouth.

“Well she sure won’t after this,” Willow replied, throwing the potion and illuminating the crumbling building.

“Cool,” Xander said, impressed. “But uh, don’t you think that maybe Riley wasn’t entirely to blame for this one?” he asked getting back to the topic at hand.

“Xander how can you ask that?” Willow stopped and turned to her best friend. “Since when do you stand up for people who betray us?”

“No, Will… I’m just saying if Buffy…”

“If Buffy what? If she wasn’t the Slayer? If her mom wasn’t sick? If she could only get over the love of her life? Xander she’s trying, ok? And it’s hard for her. But we have to be on her side. No matter what. Riley should have trusted her or at least talked to her about it. She’s got a lot on her mind at the moment. I don’t think she had time to deal with Riley’s insecurities too. Especially if he didn’t tell her about them. This is bad. He made the choice. There are a hundred things he could have done. He did this. Not Buffy. Don’t defend him.” Willow turned away. Did Xander really think this was Buffy’s fault?

“Hey. Hey look I’m sorry ok? You’re right. It’s not her fault. He didn’t have to do this. Hey,” he turned her around and was shocked to see her crying. “Willow?” He smoothed the hair back from her face, and moved her head so that she was looking up at him. “It’s alright. Shh.” He leant down, pulled by an uncontrollable force and gently kissed her lips.

*******************************

Faith was trying her best not to panic. Twenty-four hours ago she’d been chained to the factory wall, being systematically tortured by the man who’d spent the last year trying to save her soul. Since then she’d settled her problems with Buffy, died, been informed that she wasn’t meant to be a Vampire Slayer, she was in fact meant to help the girl who’s life she’d tried to ruin, and then she’d been sent back to Earth without another word. Now she was patrolling Sunnydale with Giles looking for Buffy’s beau, ‘cause he was going to do something… well something.

“Hasn’t the guy done enough?” Faith muttered, unconsciously feeling the stab wound Riley had inflicted on her.

Giles looked across at her, worried about how she was coping. She hadn’t really had time to get to grips with this yet. None of them had. Once again he cursed Riley for the torment he had put them all through. He stopped and turned to Faith, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright Faith? I know this must be difficult for you. If you want to go back I can carry on al…”

Faith shook her head determinedly. “No. It’s ok Giles. I’m here to help B you know. And if she wants Riley found I’m happy to oblige. Just as long as she doesn’t want him back in one piece.”

************************************

Oz was trying his best to distinguish between Angel and Angelus. The tyrant who had chained him up and beaten him unconscious was a world away from the quiet, brooding man who was searching through Giles’ kitchen cupboards for some coffee. Angel was attempting to make things right. Oz was going to let him try. He had seen the anger and fear that had overcome Angel when Cordelia had told him about her vision. Angel was a good guy. He had to remember that.

Angel banged the cupboard doors shut angrily. He needed to be out there looking for Riley. He wished he had let Buffy bring Spike to Giles’ house. At least then Angel would have been able to keep an eye on the younger vampire. Make sure Riley couldn’t get near enough to harm him. He looked across at Dru. If possible she looked even paler than usual. She was frightened. She wasn’t the only one.

Beth was in shock. She couldn’t feel anything. She had sat on the bottom stair since she had heard Cordelia’s vision, her only movement the raising of the cigarette she was smoking, to her lips. She couldn’t move anymore, knew that if she did she’d run out to find Riley, stop him from hurting her brother. She glanced across at Dru who was sitting with her head bent and her eyes closed. Seeing her looking so distressed pushed Beth over the edge.

“It’s all your fault, you evil bitch!” she screamed, hauling Drusilla out the chair, the ropes ineffective against Beth’s vampiric strength. “You did this, if you’d stayed away none of this would have happened. He’s going to die and it’s all… it’s all…” Beth started to weep uncontrollably, unable to finish what she had been saying. She sank to her knees before a stunned Drusilla, who was already torturing herself with the knowledge that she had ultimately been the one to hurt Spike.

Angel had run to Beth, trying to prevent the girl from harming Dru. It wouldn’t really make her feel any better and there had been enough torture and death in the past few days. He caught her as she fell to the floor and held her, feeling the pain that ran through her.

“I can’t just sit here Angel. I can’t just wait until she rings and tells me he’s dead. I need to find Riley.”

“Buffy’ll find him,” Angel assured her, with more confidence than he felt. Riley’s training and Dru’s spells would make him a formidable force. Buffy needed all the help she could get.

***************************

Buffy searched the Initiative caves, trying to find some clue that Riley was, or had been, there. He’d come here last time, and Cordelia’s vision had specified caves. Buffy wished she knew why Riley was doing this. She knew he hadn’t trusted her and maybe that was justified when you considered her feelings for Spike but still… She had never imagined that Riley would go so far. Would purposely do so much to hurt her and her loved ones. No she would not blame herself. Not loving him was no excuse for murder and betrayal.

****************************

“Look I’m just saying…”

“Well don’t.”

“I’m allowed to have an opinion, and frankly I think they’re overrated.”

“Please!”

“Overpaid poseurs.”

“I agree. But as they’re the most successful football team…”

“Soccer,” Anya interrupted. Spike stared at her irritated. “What? Xander says I have to call it soccer. To distinguish it from American Football.”

“Well don’t. And American Football is rugby… for wimps.”

“Can we talk about something else? I don’t like sports all that much.”

Anya was curled up at one end of the couch; Spike was sitting cross-legged on the floor, facing her across the coffee table. Their conversation had covered history, or at least the part that they have both lived through, before moving on to more everyday things. Music, literature, art… They’d seen and heard, read and lived so much. There were few people either one of them could talk to about such things, even if they tended to argue more often than they agreed.

They were stopped from any further conversation by the canister, which was thrown through the window at that moment. The curtains moved with the force, and streaks of light found their way into the living room. Spike yelped and moved quickly out of the way.

Anya felt light-headed. Something was making her tired and she couldn’t breathe as well as she needed. She closed her eyes as the gas filled the room.

Spike heard the faint hiss coming from behind the couch and looked across to see Anya lying unconscious, her head falling over the arm of the seat. Gas. Briefly the thought entered his mind that if Riley expected this to affect him, he was an even bigger fool than Spike had given him credit for.

He lifted Anya into his arms and carried her up to Buffy’s bedroom. He laid her on the bed, firmly closing the door behind them. Wrapping one of Buffy’s shirts around his arm, he carefully opened the window to let some fresh air in. He turned back to the bed, hoping that Anya would soon be ok. They really needed to get out of there. They needed to warn the others.

Pulling his mobile out the back pocket of his black jeans, he quickly dialled his sister’s number. Angel and Beth were pretty much their only hope with the Slayer and her chums gone.

“Hello?” Beth answered on the first ring. “Hello? Spike? Spike, are you there?”

*****************************

Willow and Xander jumped apart, both shocked by what had just happened. Willow flushed and turned quickly away, not wanting Xander to see how his actions had confused her. ‘I don’t want Xander right? Not in the want, want sense, anyway. Xander’s my friend. My best, best friend, there’s no way that we could still…And I love Tara. I do.’

‘I kissed Willow. Oh God. Why did I kiss Willow? She was upset. Yeah she was upset and you were trying to be a friend. What a jerk.’ Xander stared at the ground, unable to look at Willow in case she was disgusted with him. ‘Come on Harris. You have to do something.’

“I’m sorry. Oh God Willow I’m so sorry,” he looked up and walked around to face her. “I didn’t mean to… I mean I didn’t want to…” Willow looked up at Xander, confusion etched across her lovely face.

“Didn’t want to?”

“Well no, I mean I did want to… And it was very nice, no; um… well that’s not the issue. What I mean was, it was a mistake. I love Anya.”

“I love Tara,” Willow started to smile gently. “It’s over isn’t it Xander.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah Will,” Xander nodded, glad he hadn’t lost her, glad his best friend had understood. They had needed to deal with the unfinished business, neither fully able to commit to another relationship until that had been resolved.

“I’ll always love you Xander. You have a part of me no one else can touch. But we weren’t supposed to be together like that.”

“I love you too Will.”

Willow reached for his hand and they stood silently in what was left of the high school library for a few minutes, before their hunt for Riley continued.

*****************************

Cordelia spotted Giles across the graveyard and began to run towards him, leaving Wesley and Tara to follow behind. “Giles!” she shouted as she approached, “Have you seen…?” she stopped suddenly, her eyes flicking to the girl standing a little behind the Watcher. “Faith?”

Wesley pulled up behind Cordelia, breathing heavily. “You might let a fellow…” he trailed off as he followed Cordelia’s gaze. “Good Lord. Faith, I, I, I, uh…”

“Nice to see you too Wes,” Faith smiled as she stepped closer to small group. Cordelia, Wesley and Tara collectively took a step backward. “Well thanks for the warm welcome,” Faith mumbled as she stepped back towards Giles once more.

“Sorry,” Wesley said, frowning as he moved towards Faith, cursing himself for his awkwardness, “It’s just all a little hard to take in. You’re dead.”

“Incredible. Give the man a cigar.” Faith rolled her eyes at the obvious statement.

“Faith,” Giles admonished gently, trying to swallow the smile, which was forcing its way to his lips.

“Are you a ghost?” Cordelia asked, her initial shock giving way to an acceptance that only came after living so long on the hellmouth. “I live with a ghost, so I’m used to them, except I can’t see Dennis, which is good, ‘cause that would be way freaky.”

“I’m not a ghost. I’m a Guardian.”

“A what?” Tara asked cautiously.

“A Guardian,” Faith repeated, and proceeded to explain everything that had happened since her death, for the third time.

******************************

Anya woke slowly. Her head felt heavy and she had to take several deep breaths before she could even open her eyes. ‘My eyes aren’t working,’ she thought as her eyelids refused to open fully. She narrowly gazed around, wondering where she was. ‘I was in Buffy’s living room, talking to Spike about soccer, football, whatever… and then…’ She pushed herself into a sitting position and forced her eyes open. “This is Buffy’s room,” she said aloud. “Why am I in Buffy’s room?”

She looked around for a clue to why she might be there and saw Spike’s mobile phone lying on the rug. Groggily, she crawled off the bed and across the floor. The phone was lying open, face down, as if someone had been using it and had dropped it suddenly. She picked it up and pressed redial.

“Spike?” Beth answered immediately. “Are you ok?”

“It’s not Spike, it’s Anya. Did he call you? Recently?” Anya blinked several times, trying to clear her head.

“About five minutes ago. We were getting worried. Angel and I were just about to come and… Wait. Why are you asking? If you’re with him you should know.” Beth was starting to get agitated.

“But I’m not with him. I don’t know where he is. I think I passed out and when I came to, I was in Buffy’s bedroom.” Anya heard Beth talking to someone at the other end of the line. She opened the bedroom door and made her way downstairs, the feeling of light-headedness hitting her again the closer she got to the living room. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and sat down.

“Anya?” Angel was talking now. “Anya this is Angel, can you hear me? Anya?”

“Hmmm? What? Yeah, I can hear you Angel. The ooky feeling’s come back.”

“What? Anya what’s wrong?” Angel was trying hard not to lose control.

“Can you hear that? Like a hisssssss?”

“Oh God. Anya get out. Get out of the house now.”

“But, wh…?”

“JUST GO!” Angel roared, and Anya ran quickly out of the Summers’ house and down the porch steps into the street.

“Anya? Anya?”

“Yes Angel, I’m here. Wow, I feel a lot better. What was that?”

“Gas. Where’s Spike?”

“I really have no idea. Oh yes, yes I remember. Something came through the window. Then I must have passed out. I think Spike must have carried me up to Buffy’s room and then… I really don’t know. When I came to, I was alone. I saw the phone and rang to find out what had happened.”

Angel was cursing silently. “Ok. Anya look, I want you to call 911 and tell them about the gas. Stay away from the house. Then call Cordy, she’s got my phone, and tell her what’s happened. I want all of you to get over here as quickly as possible alright. Riley must have Spike.”

Anya had already come to that conclusion, and was wondering how long they had of the hideous torture Spike had mentioned, before it was too late.

*****************************

“God, what a beautiful day!”

Spike lay on the picnic blanket, his arms crossed behind his head, staring up at the clear blue sky. It had been forever since he had been able to see and appreciate such a sight, and he was relishing every minute. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the warmth of the sun on his face. He smiled widely, truly happy for the first time in years.

He opened his eyes again and looked down towards his feet. To celebrate this momentous occasion he had exchanged his trademark black and leather, for a lightweight white cotton shirt, which was open at the neck, and a pair of beige trousers. His feet were bare and he could feel the cool grass tickling his soles. He let out a contented sigh.

“Happy?”

The petite blonde rolled over onto her stomach and raised herself up on her forearms until she was lying half across his chest, staring down into his handsome face. “Hmmm.” Spike murmured, his smile growing wider as he shut his eyes contentedly. “Hmmm?” The blonde raised one eyebrow at his lack of response. When he further refused to acknowledge her a wicked smile crossed her lips as she lowered them to his jaw.

“Are,” she said as she rained light kisses along his jaw, “You.” The trail moved down to his neck and she increased the pressure. “Happy?” she asked again, pulling back suddenly and moving her lips directly over his, just a fraction away from touching.

He moved then, his arms coming around her to pull her to him as he crushed her lips onto his. She giggled slightly and shifted so that he could roll her onto her back. He kept one hand in her hair, firmly cupping the back of her head, as the other slid down to her waist. She groaned deep in her throat at his touch and it was his turn to chuckle.

The kiss continued, passionate and loving until they remembered they needed to breathe and broke slowly and reluctantly apart. He stared down into the beautiful face of the woman he loved, watching her passion filled eyes as she tried to steady her breathing. “I’ve never been happier,” he stated, the truth burning in his bright blue eyes for her to see. She smiled a purely feminine smile of pleasure and pulled his head back down to meet hers.

They kissed, slowly and tenderly, for several minutes, before Spike started to kiss along her jaw as she had done before. She tilted her head to the side and he kissed her neck, nipping it gently with his teeth, making her squeal softly in delight. As he began to move further down, nuzzling against the top of her breasts, she arched back, allowing him better access to her body, which was singing at his touch.

He raised his head slightly and looked up into her eyes. She mewled in protest at the loss of his kiss and looked down at him, frowning in confusion.

“I love you Buffy.”

It was a simple statement; something he’d been meaning to say for so long, but had never had the chance. She was his now. She needed to know what she meant to him.

“I love you, Spike.”

The joy that shot through him at the softly spoken words was of a kind he had never experienced before. He moved quickly back to face her, his hands cupping her face as his eyes searched for the truth in hers. She nodded slightly, seeing his apprehension, and her face broke into a gorgeous grin, as her eyes filled with happy tears. He hugged her tightly to him, swearing he would do anything in his power to ensure she always stayed this happy.

He closed his eyes again, needing to keep the moment with him as long as possible. She was the only thing that was stopping him from…

“…screaming in agony and begging me to stop.”

Riley grinned manically down at him, shoving the poker through his already searing flesh. His daydream splintered into a thousand pieces as he concentrated on not giving Riley the satisfaction of hearing him cry out at the pain.

**********************

Buffy walked quickly along Revello Drive, anxious to get home. She had checked the cemeteries after the caves, searching each crypt and hiding place she knew of, but she hadn’t found Riley. She was getting worried. The longer he was out there, the more opportunity he had to…

She saw the fire engine and police car outside her home and broke into a run. ‘No, no, no,’ she repeated over and over in her mind as she saw Anya talking agitatedly to one of the police officers.

“Yes of course I’m sure. He works for the military, so he’s bound to be able to get hold of this stuff. Oh, there’s the owner,” Anya pointed to Buffy as she came running up.

“Is this your house miss?” the officer smiled patronisingly at her.

“Yes it is. What’s going on?” She didn’t wait for him to answer and turned immediately to Anya, “Where’s Spike?”

“Who’s Spike?” the policeman interrupted, feeling he was rapidly losing control of the situation. Buffy ignored him.

“I think Riley took him Buffy. He threw this gas canister through the window and kidnapped Spike while I was unconscious.” Anya stepped nervously back a little as she spoke, correctly gauging the look on Buffy’s face. Riley was going to be so dead when the Slayer caught up with him.

“Riley? The military guy? He’s kidnapped someone? Look do you ladies wanna come down to the station with me and…”

“NO!” Buffy screamed, grabbing Anya by the upper-arms, “I have to find him Anya. We have to…”

“Angel said everyone should meet up over at Giles’. He sounded pretty mad. And Buffy, do you think maybe you could let go?”

“Sorry,” Buffy quickly released Anya and turned to the policeman. “Look um, there’s something really important I have to take care of now. My name’s Buffy Summers, this is my house, and I promise I’ll come down to the station later on and tell you everything I know, but for now I just have to go.” She turned in the direction of Giles’ apartment and started to run. Anya turned and grinned falsely at the officer before following.

*******************************

Faith stopped at the top of the stairs, her legs refusing to take her any further. She knew Angel was in there, she could feel his presence. Giles turned and looked up at her, the rest of the small group halting as he did so. He raised his eyebrows enquiringly. “What’s wrong Faith? Are you ok?”

‘No, I have to go in there and face Angel. I couldn’t possibly be less ok.’ Faith closed her eyes at the thought. Giles seemed to realise the problem and smiled slightly. “Well, uh, you go in Faith. Um, there are probably some things that need clearing up before… We’ll wait for Buffy out here.” He patted her shoulder softly, and gestured for the others to sit in the courtyard, as Faith made her way slowly towards the door.

Angel sat at Giles’ desk, the city plans lying open before him, pinpointing places Riley could be holding Spike. He didn’t look up when the door opened, merely called over his shoulder, “Giles, great you’re back. I was thinking that maybe…”

“You should get some glasses?” Faith joked, leaning back against the door, holding tightly onto the door handle for support. ‘Please God don’t let me mess this up,’ she prayed silently.

Angel turned slowly toward the door, not believing his eyes when he saw her standing there. “Faith?”

Beth’s surprise was momentary. They didn’t really have time to deal with whatever this was, but she felt that Angel probably had something deep and meaningful to say to the girl, so she quickly lifted the plans from the table, grabbed Drusilla by the arm and dragged her forcefully upstairs.

Oz, as usual, displayed no outward sign that there was anything odd about the situation. “Faith.” He acknowledged the former Slayer with a nod of his head and followed the two female vampires to the upper level of Giles’ home.

“Well haven’t you got a hug for your favourite Slayer,” Faith said finally, deciding to make some sort of attempt at conversation. She winced. ‘Oh great Faith. That was perfect. Try to remember just who he is and who his favourite Slayer actually is before you open your mouth.’

“Faith. What’re you doing’ here? I mean, how? Why?” Angel’s confusion made Faith relax slightly.

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later, I’m bored with it already. I just, well I’m here to help Buffy that’s all.”

Angel nodded, “Right. So are you, ok?”

Faith laughed at his discomfort, “Apart from the dead thing? Sure.” Angel smiled. ‘God why does he have to look so nice when does that. Stop it. He’s Buffy’s… but she seems awfully into… No, no. That’s not the point and you know it. He spent the last few days torturing you, tormenting you teasing you unmercifully. You are so not allowed to be attracted to…’

“Faith, are you sure you’re alright?” Angel had moved closer to her while she was thinking and was now standing directly in front of her. She looked up, trying to hide the effect he had on her. ‘Shouldn’t this stop happening once you’re dead?’

Angel looked down at the girl who meant so much to him, more than he could even admit to himself, and remembered how he had felt early this morning when he found out she was dead. “Faith, there are so many things I want to say. So much I have to apologise for. I’ll make it right, I promise, even if it takes forever.”

“Hey, I told you, you didn’t have to apologise to me. I understand.”

The souled vampire shook his head slowly and hugged her to him tightly. “I understand,” she whispered again.

*****************************

‘Buffy, Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.’

Spike repeated the words in a mantra in his mind as Riley continued to torture him. He couldn’t really feel anything anymore, which he wasn’t sure whether to be thankful for or not. He knew that Riley was not going to win however. Even if he killed him. Because there was no way Spike was ever going to give in. He would not scream, or beg and he would certainly not be driven insane by ‘G.I. Joe’s evil twin.

His Slayer was the only thing keeping him going. The one thing keeping him together.

“Beg me to and I’ll stop,” Riley offered, holding the crucifix near to Spike’s burning skin.

“You know I stopped taking orders from head-cases the day Dru ran off with that bastard fungus demon.”

Riley roared with anger at Spike’s mocking words and pushed the crucifix roughly against Spike’s chest, eliciting a stream of smoke as the flesh burned and the smell of flaming skin filled the air. But Spike did not cry out.

‘Buffy, Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.’

******************************

The Slayer threw the door to Giles’ apartment open and entered swiftly, Anya close behind. She immediately sought out Angel, fixing her eyes on him, silently demanding that he do something to fix things. He was standing by the fireplace, head down; Buffy couldn’t remember a time she’d seen him more tense.

Her friends all looked at her worriedly. Once they’d all found out about Cordelia’s vision, they’d been concerned for Buffy and Spike. Somehow it seemed more appropriate to side with the vampire on this occasion, Riley’s betrayal showing them just how human Spike had become in their eyes.

Anya walked across to Xander, who hugged her tightly. He had things he needed to say to her, but they would have to wait. For now, he just held her.

Willow jumped up from beside Tara and moved to her best friend. She knew better than anyone how Buffy must be feeling. The news that Riley had taken Spike had upset the redheaded witch in ways that Xander and Tara had been unable to comprehend, and Willow had refused to say anything, not wanting to discuss Buffy’s feelings, even with two of the people who were closest to her.

Buffy took comfort from Willow’s closeness, squeezing her hand as she moved further into the room, but her eyes remained fixed on Angel. He stared at her, allowing her to see and share the pain this was causing him. Buffy saw a look in his eyes she hadn’t seen for two and a half years. The lust for a kill. Last time it had been directed at her, but she had been too numb to fear it. Now she was afraid.

Angel, the vampire who’s restored soul had made him ache for the sins of his past, the man she truly believed would never harm another, the demon she had willingly given her heart to because of the beauty of his soul, Angel wanted to kill Riley. There was hatred there, hatred and anger for the things Riley had done or was planning to do.

And she shared it. And she wasn’t sure what scared her more.

***********************************

Part 6

“I think you need some anger management classes, mate,” Spike panted as the stream of holy water burnt it’s way down his back. Riley was muttering under his breath and the vampire knew his taunts were affecting the human. But Spike was not about to stop. His arrogance and mocking manner, his quick sarcastic tongue, they were part of who he was. Riley was not going to get them. “You know, maybe if you’d shown Buffy this side of your frightening personality, if you can call it personality, then she wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about me.”

Spike gritted his teeth as the burning metal scraped his tender skin. Every spot of pain inflicted on him by the boy-wonder, meant that Riley, deep down, was hurting ten times as much. Spike thought idly about how he would feel in Riley’s place; having Buffy in all ways but one. Not truly having her love. Yes that would make him scream.

But Spike didn’t have her. Not yet. ‘Not at all mate if this carries on for much longer,’ he reminded himself. Well until he had her, or not as the case may be, he was going to have some fun. Riley was far more than just Buffy’s boyfriend. He was one of those commandos who’d stopped him from killing. ‘Yes. You’d forgotten that hadn’t you. So evil demon that you are, make yourself useful.’

“So Riley. How much has our little Slayer told you about the love of her life? Angel? Heard of him? Great guy. Strong, smart, kind, sensitive and all that crap. You’ve seen him right? Best looking bloke she’s ever had the pleasure of shaggin’,”

‘Yet,’ he silently clarified.

“Now he’s back; and back he is, with soul no less; and you’ve lost your marbles, how do you rate your chances?”

********************************

“Buffy!”

Buffy ran quickly up the stairs to Giles’ bedroom and found Drusilla sitting up on Giles’ bed, looking wildly around her. “What’s wrong?” Buffy demanded, her jaw set. Angel had convinced her not to kill the vampiress, but that didn’t mean Buffy wanted to spend any time with her.

“Where’s Spike?” Drusilla asked, her eyes suddenly becoming clear, and looking, Buffy thought, as she must have done before Angel drove her insane.

“We don’t know yet.” Buffy felt a rush of sympathy for the demoness. She knew how hard it was to lose someone you loved, to have been the means of their death even. She had killed Angel, and now Drusilla may indirectly cause Spike’s death. Dru still loved him; Buffy could see it as clearly as she had seen Spike’s love for Drusilla years ago.

“I want to… Help me Buffy, help me find him.”

If Buffy had given it a moment’s thought, she might have considered it ironic that the woman who had left Spike over a truce with her, was how asking for a truce to save Spike. But Buffy didn’t have time. She looked hard at Drusilla for a second and then offered her hand. “You help me.”

Without hesitation, Dru took the Slayer’s hand and nodded. “I help you.”

*********************************

“Thank God for mobile phones,” Cordelia said as the group checked over where they were going to patrol. The sun had just set, and the three vampires were the most anxious to set off. The vampires and the Vampire Slayer.

“Could we hurry this along a little,” Buffy said impatiently. “Oz you stay here and make sure everyone’s got all the information they need.”

“Check,” the werewolf agreed, moving Giles’ house phone to the coffee table for ease.

“Angel, Beth, Giles, you’ve all got your phones? Anya’s got Spike’s and Willow’s got Oz’s, yes.” Everyone nodded. “Right let’s go.”

Angel and Faith set off for a sweep of Sunnydale’s sewer system, which Angel knew intimately. Giles and Cordelia started searching the cemeteries, while Xander and Anya made their way to Willy’s Bar to try and find out as much information as they could from the Snitch. Beth and Wesley went back over the high school before moving on to the factories and warehouses down by the docks. Buffy and Drusilla returned to the Initiative caves, the Slayer sure that that was where Riley would be.

Willow and Tara had been assigned to search Sunnydale’s 43 churches, but they lingered behind the others, wanting to try a spell Willow had come across recently.

Oz frowned at them as they closed the door behind the others. “Aren’t you meant to be searching for Riley?”

“We’re going to, but we wanted to try and do this for you, and this is the only night we can do it. Three nights before the full moon,” Willow explained.

“Do what for me?” Oz asked moving nervously back, away from the two witches.

“It’s kind of an anti-werewolf spell. No more fuzziness around the full moon.”

Oz stared at Willow. “Serious?” Willow nodded. “Ok.”

********************************

“Look I don’t know where the kid is alright. And I’d be sure to tell you Xander. The demons in here aren’t really crazy about the guy, you know. They’d tell me in a second if they’d heard anything about him. And Spike. Man I love him like a brother. Don’t tell him I said that though.”

Xander leaned closer to Willy, trying his best to be intimidating. Willy flinched back, and Xander’s ego swelled, as he knew he was succeeding. “Xander he doesn’t know anything. We haven’t got time for this. Let’s go.” Anya started to pull on Xander’s jacket.

“You know Buffy’s gonna kick your ass if you’re lying Willy.”

“I do know that. That’s another reason I’m telling you the truth.”

********************************

“So what’s the deal with this Riley guy anyway? I mean does Buffy have some kind of sensor that seeks out schizo’s or something?” Cordelia opened the chest and looked inside, as Giles circled the rest of the crypt looking for some sort of clue. “Wow look at this. Someone’s got it really bad for our little Buffy,” Cordelia exclaimed holding up the sweater and assortment of pictures. “Is this why Riley went crazy?”

Giles gave Spike’s collection of Buffy-memorabilia a glance and then decided to forget about it. There were some things to do with Slayers and vampires even he shouldn’t know. “Cordelia please put that away. We have no business going through Spike’s belongings… even if they are Buffy’s. And Riley was never exactly stable to begin with, so no it’s not Spike’s fault. Or Buffy’s.”

*********************************

“Beth, do you think you could slow down a little? If they are here, you’re going to walk right past them at this rate.” Wesley flashed the torch into the far corner of the factory as he spoke, willing the vampiress to calm down.

“He’s hurting Wesley. I can feel it. He’s been in pain for hours. I hate this. When I find that guy I’m going to…”

Wesley stopped and shone the flashlight onto the face of the woman he loved. She looked at him, startled and then her eyes widened as she realised how she sounded. “Wesley, God I’m sorry. But this isn’t vampire stuff ok. This is sister stuff. Even if I were human I’d want to…”

“I know,” Wesley relaxed, knowing that Beth was right and that he had to trust her. He’d seen the look in Buffy’s eyes before she left with Drusilla and he knew she felt the same way. “It’s ok, really. I do understand.” He reached across and gently caressed her cheek before they turned and made their way further into the factory.

***********************************

Faith glanced nervously at her companion. She’d agreed to go with Angel to search the sewers, knowing that it would help to convince the vampire that she forgave him. Now she was here however, she didn’t know what to say. Angel didn’t appear to want to talk, and that was good, but she was uncomfortable.

However when they passed the same section of the tunnel for the third time, Faith felt she had to say something. “Angel, aren’t we going round in circles?” Angel ignored her and carried on walking. Faith stopped, annoyed now that he wasn’t paying attention. “Look, we’re never going to find them if we keep going over the same piece of sewer. We have to try a different way.”

Angel halted and turned to face her. For the first time she truly saw how all of this was affecting him. “I’m scared Faith. I can’t let Spike die. God knows I have plenty of reasons to want him dead, but he’s my Childe and I do love him. I failed you, I’m not going to fail…”

“Will you stop talking like that? You didn’t fail ok. I was doing what you told me. And Angelus tortured me, not you. I know you Angel. You’d never hurt me. You want to save Spike, that’s great; I wanna help. But you’re not going to do it following the same section of sewer all night.”

Angel closed his eyes and nodded. He couldn’t feel Spike, couldn’t sense him, as he needed to. Maybe if he were asleep… But they didn’t have time for that. He sent up an urgent prayer to any god that might happen to be listening to the prayers of demons, and walked back to Faith as she set off down another tunnel.

***************************************

“I can feel him Buffy. Spike, he’s in here. It’s feels bad this place. Evil.” Drusilla remained at the entrance to the caves, as Buffy checked her supplies.

“It is evil. And Riley’s evil. Way eviler than Spike.” Buffy agreed handing the crossbow to Dru. “Just in case,” she explained at the vampiress’s look. She held the sword in her right hand, throwing the bag behind a bush as she stood. She glanced at Dru and nodded. “Let’s go.”

****************************************

“Is that it?” Oz asked as the two girls got up and moved towards the door.

“Yeah. No more werewolf Oz. We hope,” Willow affirmed looking back towards her former boyfriend. “We have to go look for Riley. Call if anything happens ok?”

Oz nodded slightly, smiling as he considered a permanent life without the pressures of turning into a monster for three nights every month. And then he fell.

“Oz!” Willow shouted running back to the couch to try and help her friend. “Oz, are you…?”

She never got to finish as the werewolf jumped over the couch, knocking her to the ground, before running out through the open door into the night. Tara ran to her girlfriend and helped her up. “Willow, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. But Oz. Oh God Tara, what did we do?”

*******************************

“Hello? Willow, what’s wrong?”

“Um, Giles. I think we did something bad?”

“Bad. What do you mean? Where are you?”

“Your place. Tara and I tried to do this anti-werewolf spell for Oz but we kinda turned him into a werewolf.”

“What? Willow, are you and Tara alright?”

“Yeah Giles, we’re fine, but…”

“Get the tranquilliser gun out of the weapons chest. Meet us at the gates to Restfield cemetery.”

“Yes Giles. I’m so sor…”

“Willow please… do shut up.”

*********************************

Buffy inched her way slowly down one of the long passages that led through the caves. Drusilla stayed behind her trying to guide them to Spike as best she could. Buffy’s own special senses picked up the trace of a vampire as they neared the end of the passage and she signalled for Dru to stay quiet and still.

Hiding in the shadows the two women took in the scene before them. Spike was chained to the far wall, his arms stretched suspended above his head. His bare chest was covered with burns and bruises; his flesh had been pierced by metal pokers and marked with crucifixes. Buffy winced as she looked at him. Riley had tried to take away the cocky English vampire who was close to stealing her heart, and hurt him he had, but he had not defeated him. Spike’s head remained raised, his teeth set to try and will away the pain of the torture. Buffy remembered what Cordelia had said about her vision. No screaming. Buffy knew instinctually that the blonde vampire hadn’t cried out once, nor begged for release. He had taken all the pain, so that Riley would have to kill him without the pleasure of breaking him.

She saw Riley then, emerging from the shadows in the opposite corner, sword in hand. Drusilla almost cried out as Riley approached Spike, only Buffy’s urgent grip on her arm preventing her from doing so. The two women were united now against a common enemy. They both knew it wouldn’t last once they had rescued Spike, but for now they took comfort in the other’s presence.

“She doesn’t love you. She may be obsessed or infatuated or something, but she doesn’t love you. And she never will,” they heard Riley saying as he advanced upon Spike. “Won’t that hurt you? Knowing you’re going to die for a woman who never gave a damn about you.”

“Ah, but I always knew she didn’t love me. Never thought I had a chance. You on the other hand wished every day that Buffs would give you some sign that she loved you as much as Angel, and look where that got you. The point is mate, she doesn’t have to love you as much as Angel; she just has to love you, to care about you. You had it all and you threw it away ‘cause you were insecure. Wanker! If I had her, I’d cling on so tight and never let her go. Wouldn’t give a toss if she had loved the great poof an extra inch, because I had her, she chose me. She did choose you, didn’t she? God knows why. Girl’s always had pretty bad taste in men if you ask me, ‘til now that is. And you ruined it, stupid sod. So don’t think I’m going to whine like you because Buffy isn’t hopelessly in love with me. You’ve been at this for hours and I haven’t cracked, though you’re becoming more unstable by the minute. Either kill me or let me go, ‘cause frankly, I’m just bored now.”

Riley let out a shout of pure fury and charged at Spike. Buffy jumped up from her crouched position and ran quickly towards the two men. Drusilla raised the crossbow and fired at Riley’s back. The arrow sped quickly past Buffy and embedded itself in Riley’s shoulder. He turned with a shout of pain and was met by Buffy’s fist, which sent him flying back across the cavern.

Buffy advanced upon Riley as Drusilla ran to Spike. “Spike, my pet, are you ok?” Spike’s lips quirked at the question and he nodded slightly. “Yeah. Apart form the pain. The keys are on the table ducks,” he said nodding towards the corner where Riley had piled his supplies of holy water, crosses and other assorted weapons.

“You killed Faith,” Buffy spat as she loomed over Riley, “And you’re trying to kill Spike.” She leant over and dragged her former boyfriend to his feet. “I think it’s fair to say that things aren’t working out between us Riley,” she hit him again sending him smashing into the wall. He recovered quickly this time and returned her attack, backhanding her across the face.

Drusilla supported Spike as she unchained his arms and his weak body fell limply to the ground. As she bent to unchain his legs, Riley picked up the sword he had dropped when the arrow hit him and turned back to face a weaponless Buffy. Spike’s eyes never left the pair and he shouted a warning to Buffy as Riley approached her. Drusilla turned her head to look at the pair then back to Spike. He loved Buffy; she could see it glowing in his eyes along with the fear. As her mind flashed with happy memories of times they had shared over the past hundred years, Dru came to a decision. Without pausing to think why a soulless vampire was willing to help the Slayer for the man she loved, Drusilla caught up the sword Buffy had dropped and threw it to her.

Buffy caught the sword, thankful that Drusilla had kept her word to help her, and defended herself against Riley’s savage attack. He wasn’t as skilled as she was however and was soon at a disadvantage. As he tried to defend himself he hooked his foot around Buffy’s leg and she went crashing to the ground. He followed her down, straddling her waist and pinning her arms above her head. The shock of the fall left Buffy helpless for a moment and Riley used the time to hit her savagely across the head, slamming her head against the ground.

Spike cried out as Riley continued to beat Buffy, every hit making her less able to regain control and defend herself. Drusilla stared at the Slayer, knowing now what she had to do to make things right. She looked at Spike, his eyes locking with hers as she leant close to him. “I love you Spike. I never stopped.” She kissed him gently and when she pulled away her eyes were clear and focused. “Tell Daddy I did good. Be happy with her, my sweet.”

As she jumped to her feet Spike realised what she was planning and tried to catch her as she moved across the room towards Riley and Buffy. “Dru, No!” he cried hoarsely, the tears that were threatening to fall burning the backs of his eyes.

Buffy couldn’t focus, not believing she had lost control of the situation so easily. She had to do something. She had to move out of this position and start beating the crap out of Riley. The former military agent was intent on hurting the small blonde Slayer, and didn’t notice the black-haired vampiress approach.

Drusilla pushed Riley violently off Buffy, stepping over the Slayer and continuing to advance of the young man, as Buffy rolled away and got to her feet. Spike untied the shackles at his feet as quickly as his drained body could and then stumbled across to the Slayer. She caught him as he fell towards her, and he croaked desperately in her ear, “Stop her; help her, please!” Buffy looked, confused at the blonde vampire and then across at Drusilla. She immediately saw what was going to happen and started to run across the cave.

Drusilla and Riley fought angrily, each battling for control, Dru’s anger spurring her on. She wanted to hurt him as much as possible before the inevitable happened. But Riley was quick to find a stake among his vampire-torture chamber and lunged at the beautiful demoness.

Dru’s face held a look of pure peace as she glanced back at Spike and whispered, “I love you.”

Then she disintegrated.

Then there was silence.

*****************************

“Where do you think Oz could be?” Willow worriedly asked Giles as they walked quickly though the town. Tara and Cordelia had joined together to continue to search for Riley, and the Witch and Watcher had left them at the cemetery.

Giles looked down at Willow. His annoyance at her actions had faded once he had seen the look of fear on her face. It was just such an awkward time for something like this to happen. “Well, uh, he usually goes out to the woods yes? I think we should try looking there first.” He smiled at Willow, trying to reassure her that everything would be ok. She smiled back nervously, trying to take comfort.

*****************************

Spike, Buffy and Riley stood frozen for a second, before Riley launched himself at the Slayer, knocking her to the ground. Spike growled in fury as an enraged haze filled his mind. Without stopping to think of the pain which attacking Riley would induce, he ran toward the young man, dragged him fiercely away from Buffy, and threw him down onto the ground. Riley smirked cruelly up at him, “You can’t hurt me. We both know that.”

Spike didn’t know that. He couldn’t think clearly. All he could see was Riley killing Dru; Riley beating Buffy; Riley torturing him. He pushed past the pain, letting his demon emerge as he pounced on the boy, each punch hitting its mark. He couldn’t stop, the demon taking pleasure in being able to attack again after so much time.

Riley shakily pulled the crucifix from the back pocket of his trousers and pushed it into Spike’s unprotected chest. The vampire recoiled in pain and the young man used the opportunity to stagger to his feet. He kicked out at Spike, hitting him squarely in the head. He tried again, but Spike was ready this time and grabbed his foot, twisting the leg so that Riley crashed down to the ground. Riley rolled away and jumped up once more and the fight continued in earnest.

Buffy raised herself groggily to her elbows and looked around the cave. Riley and Spike were battling furiously and she knew had to help. As she raised herself ungracefully to her feet, she looked again at the two men, shocked. Spike was fighting. He was hurting a human. With intent. But he wasn’t in pain.

Spike held Riley pinned against the wall. He had to end it. He had to punish Riley for his sins. The evil in this boy was far more dangerous than the evil in him. He lent closer, knocking Riley’s head to the side and bearing his neck. “She never loved you,” he whispered in Riley’s ear before he sunk his fangs into his neck. Riley cried out at the pain, his open eyes staring wildly across the cave. He lost consciousness as the blood drained from his body and Spike supported his limp body as he continued to drink.

Buffy remained glued to the spot as she watched Spike drain her former boyfriend. She didn’t know why she hadn’t tried to stop it, but something held her back. She knew somehow that Spike’s actions stemmed from a kind of rage she understood. Once she had been intent on killing this very vampire because of the threat he posed to Angel. Riley had killed the one woman Buffy knew Spike worshipped beyond all else. She understood completely.

Spike dragged his teeth from Riley’s neck, tearing the flesh a little. The body dropped to the ground and Spike turned away violently. When he saw Buffy, standing watching from across the cave, his eyes widened and his handsome human features descended upon his face once more. He dropped wearily to the ground as the fog in his brain lifted and he realised what he had done. ‘Oh God,’ he thought, ‘She hates me now.’

Buffy started to walk across to Spike, worried that he was injured. He was still hurting from Riley’s earlier torture and needed rest. As she crossed the entrance to the cave, the werewolf jumped from the shadows, knocking her on top of the aching vampire. Buffy looked back towards the wolf as it stopped and growled menacingly at them. Buffy looked around for something to defend them with and cursed when she couldn’t see anything close enough.

The werewolf looked from the tangled pair to Riley’s body in the far corner and seemed to take a minute to think. Then he launched himself over the vampire and Vampire Slayer, and proceeded to savage Riley’s lifeless body.

Buffy didn’t have time to worry about what the werewolf was doing. She needed to get them out of there as quickly as possible. “Spike?” she said looking down at the blonde vampire, “Can you move?” He murmured vaguely in reply and Buffy helped him to stand.

As the two emerged from the cave they saw Willow and Giles running towards them. “Buffy, oh God, are you ok?” Willow asked her best friend as she ran up next to her. Giles helped to support Spike’s weak body, taking some of the weight from the bruised Vampire Slayer. “I’m fine Will,” Buffy nodded, reassuring her friends, “Spike needs rest though. And probably some first-aid.” Buffy smiled gently at the vampire who had fallen into unconsciousness.

“Yes, well, we’ll get him home then,” Giles said repositioning Spike’s arm around his shoulders.

“But what about…?” Willow began, her eyes pleading with the Watcher.

“What about what?” Buffy asked seeing Willow’s fearful look.

“Oz. Tara and I did a spell, but it went wrong and now he’s a werewolf,” the witch explained in a rush. Buffy looked at her friend wide-eyed and then back towards the entrance to the caves. “What?” Willow asked as Buffy continued to stare. “Um. Oz, he… I think he… He’s in there.” Buffy stammered.

“What? Is he ok? What’s he doing?” Willow moved towards the caves, holding the tranquilliser gun trained on the entrance. Buffy caught her arm and pulled her back. “No, don’t Will. Leave him. I’ll explain later. Can we just get Sleepy here home before my arms fall off.”

**********************************

Buffy pulled the quilt over Spike’s sleeping form, smoothed his mussed hair back from his face and switched off the bedside lamp. She slowly walked across the unfamiliar room, the light from the corridor guiding her to the door.

As they had made their way back from the caves, Willow had called Angel to tell him they had found Spike. The ensouled vampire had rushed to their aid, carrying Spike easily to the mansion, which was closer than Giles’ apartment.

Buffy walked along the corridor from Spike’s room to the great hall, where she found Angel sitting, head lowered, in front of the fireplace. He looked up as she approached and forced a smile to his lips. “Is he ok?”

“He’ll live,” Buffy reassured him, then she frowned, “In the not living sense obviously.” She flopped down next to him on the couch, closing her eyes and resting her head back.

“How about you?” Angel asked, looking at her intently.

“I…” she sighed. “When all of this catches up with me, I’m going to cry for two days straight,” she managed without opening her eyes. “I’m ok actually. This has all been pretty routine, don’t you think?”

She turned her head to look at him and he raised an eyebrow. “Routine?”

“Well yeah. Friends in danger, torture, murder, weird hellmouth thing, vampires, my boyfriend turning into a homicidal maniac, more death… fairly average couple of days in the life of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

“Buffy I’m…”

“No, it’s not your fault. I just wish this didn’t keep happening.” Buffy stared up at the ceiling.

“So do I,” Angel sighed sadly.

Buffy reached across and took his hand. “I’m sorry about Dru,” she said quietly, knowing that Drusilla’s death must be giving him considerable pain. In the last two days, three of the most important women in his life had died. Granted Faith wasn’t exactly gone, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t grieving. He had hurt her more than anyone. “We tried to stop her, but… well I think she wanted to prove to Spike that she still loved him, and was sorry for what she had done. Well at least that’s what I hope she was doing.”

Angel nodded. “Yeah. I think that’s what it was too. Once again however I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. You know, there are so many things you find you want to say to people when they’re not around anymore to hear them. Things I kept putting off saying to Darla, Drusilla, Spike, and Faith; things I really need to say. And then there’s you…”

Buffy sat up and looked directly at him. “What about me? Haven’t we said everything already?”

“Buffy I know there I things I’m not allowed to say to you anymore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to say them. The idea that someday, something might happen to you I won’t be able to tell you how I feel…”

“So tell me now,” Buffy said, “and we won’t have to worry about it anymore.”

“I love you Buffy. I told you once that in over 200 years, I’ve only ever loved you, and that’s as true today, as it was the day I said it. I want you to know, to believe that that is never going to change. We’re not the same people now as once we were; we don’t live in each other’s worlds anymore. You’re going to meet someone and fall in love and that’s good… you should do that… and deep, deep down, I want you to know that, I’ll be happy if you’re happy. Not ‘perfectly happy’ of course, ‘cause you won’t be with me… but I’ll be glad that you’ve found someone you can share your life with.”

“You weren’t happy about Riley,” Buffy interrupted, not knowing why she needed Angel’s input on the subject.

“No, well, that’s ‘cause he was an arrogant, insecure bastard, who attacked me and hurt you. Look I promise when you meet the right guy, I’ll be with you all the way, but Riley… can I ask what you actually saw in him?”

“He was the opposite of you. That made me feel safe,” Buffy murmured, finally able to tell Angel the truth about her former boyfriend.

“Did you love him?” Angel asked, unable to look at her in case she said yes.

“No I didn’t love him. I thought I might be able to, but there was something missing. I don’t know what.”

“Excitement maybe? I’m not talking about life and death stuff, ‘cause I’m sure you’ve had plenty of excitement in that area. I mean your heart didn’t skip when he entered the room, you didn’t spend hours thinking of seeing him, and you didn’t dream about things you might do together. His voice didn’t make your blood sing, and his kisses didn’t…”

“Alright, gees, enough already,” Buffy turned away embarrassed as she realized that Angel no longer moved her in those ways either. She loved him, a part of her always would, but things were different now. No she hadn’t been as excited by Riley as had been by the vampire sitting next to her. If she was truly honest the only man who had aroused those types of feelings in the last year and a half had been Sp…‘You can’t tell Angel that!’

She thought about what Angel had said about telling people things before it was too late. She needed to talk to Spike. When he woke up they were going to have a proper conversation, one they’d been avoiding for the past three and a half years.

***********************************

Anya snuggled next to Xander in bed, glad that Spike was safe and Riley was no longer a threat. They could try and get back to normal now. It wasn’t even late, but the events of the last few days had caught up on them, and they had given in to their bodies’ need for sleep. “Xander are you ok?”

“Yeah, why?” Xander replied holding her tight.

“Just, that it feels as though I’m going to snap in two any moment now.” Xander released her a little and she wriggled slightly trying to get comfortable.

“It just feels strange. Everything that’s happened. Riley going crazy ‘cause Buffy didn’t love him enough…” He stopped suddenly and turned his head to look down at her. “You know I love you right. I mean I do love you Anya and I don’t think I’ve ever said it, but it’s true. I love you.”

The former demon looked up at her boyfriend in wonder. “I don’t know what to say, I… Xander. I love you too.” She started to cry gently, tears of happiness coursing down her face. He held her beautiful face gently in his hands and softly kissed away all her tears. “I need you and I love you, Anya.”

She beamed up at him and laughed lightly. “Make love to me.”

***********************************

Tara flicked the switch and her small room was flooded with light. She and Willow entered exhausted and slumped down wearily on the bed. Their small black cat jumped up between them and purred softly, nestling into the covers.

“Are you sure everything’s alright Willow?” Tara asked, rolling over to face her girlfriend. Willow sat up and pulled the cat onto her lap, stroking her tenderly as she spoke, taking comfort from her warmth.

“Yeah. I don’t know why Buffy wouldn’t let me go get Oz, but she must have had a good reason. She said he wasn’t hurt, and that we should just go get him in the morning. She seemed to think he’d still be there.” Willow hadn’t argued with Buffy when she’d seen the look in her eyes. Something was strange, but it would probably be best all round if she never found out.

“But are you ok with Oz being here? If he stays, will it be…” Tara got up off the bed and started to tidy her desk. Her immaculately tidy desk. Willow looked at Tara puzzled, before realising that the other witch was still anxious about Willow’s feelings for Oz. She walked over to her girlfriend and slowly turned Tara to face her.

“Tara, I do love Oz. He’s a part of me. Like Xander’s a part of me. They make me, me. I couldn’t be who I am without them. So if Oz is back for good, that’ll be great, eventually. After all the weirdness goes away. There aren’t many people in the world that I love. Four actually, if you don’t count Giles who’s really more of a dad to us all… Buffy, Xander, Oz… and you Tara. Never think I don’t want to be with you. I love you.”

She leant forward, closing the gap between then and brushed Tara’s lips gently with her own.

****************************

It was nine o’clock when Spike awoke. He was disoriented at first, until he recognised his old room at the mansion. The one he’d lived in alone for months while Dru had been with Angel. The one in which he’d planned his Sire’s downfall. Spike didn’t regret it; Angelus had taken the most important thing in his unlife from him. He would never regret trying to keep Dru, trying to put things back to the way they had been.

‘If only I’d known then what I know now… How different would things be?’ he thought as he stared around the black room, his vampiric vision allowing him to see everything perfectly. The only thing he had actually regretted since that fateful night two and a half ago was leaving Buffy with a sword at her throat. If he’d realised then that he was in love with her, he’d have dropped Dru in a heap on the floor, and gone to Buffy’s aid. ‘Still, maybe things worked out for the best,’ he thought as he carefully sat up in the bed and switched on the bedside lamp.

As the light flooded the room he remembered. Dru was dead. She’d allowed herself to be killed to give Buffy some time to stop Riley. She’d sacrificed herself for him and she wanted him to be happy with Buffy. “Buffy,” he said aloud and pushed the covers off the bed, pulling on the black trousers and light grey jumper that Angel had thoughtfully left out for him. The trousers were a little too big, so Spike fished out a belt from the chest of drawers and then made his way out into the corridor. His wounds had healed quickly and the only reminder to him of his torture at Riley’s hands were the aches that followed him as he moved and the unwanted images that flashed through his brain.

Spike sent up a silent prayer of thanks to his Princess for helping him and Buffy, and hoped that she knew he forgave and loved her. Now all he had to do was talk to the woman he loved so completely. Buffy needed to know he loved her, even if she didn’t feel the same way.

He walked slowly into the great hall, unsure of what to say to either Buffy or Angel. They weren’t there. He stood in the doorway considering places that they might have gone to wait or rest when he heard someone shift on the couch. He smiled, thinking that Buffy must have fallen asleep and tiptoed across to his Slayer.

His eyes widened when he saw Buffy, curled in the arms of his Sire, fast asleep. They both looked so peaceful, so content and Spike felt as though his heart was being ripped in two. This was what she wanted. What she had always wanted. Angel not him. It would never be him. ‘You’re beneath her, remember?’ the demon inside him called out and Spike closed his eyes against the pain welling inside of him once more.

Spike walked quietly backwards out of the room, careful not to disturb the sleeping pair. Once he reached his bedroom he picked up his duster and put it on, before running out of the mansion into the night, before the tears he had been holding back since Dru died, started to fall.

*****************************

Part 7

Buffy awoke slowly and nuzzled her head into Spike’s neck. “Mmmm,” she groaned trying to get closer, running her hand up his chest and then around his side to hold him tightly to her. She pressed a kiss against his neck, liking the cool feel of his skin against her lips. “Spike,” she moaned, leaning up so that he could kiss her.

“Uh, Buffy?” Angel said, confused as to the Slayer’s behaviour. He was tying his hardest not to react to her, but if she kept wriggling like that…

Buffy’s eyes shot open and she stared at Angel. ‘Oh God! What did I do? What did I say?’ She pushed herself up away from him and rubbed her hands over her face. “Hey. Sorry about falling asleep on you. Don’t know what… I mean, I must have been really tired.”

Angel sat up next to her and nodded. If she didn’t want to tell him why she’d been moaning Spike’s name, he wasn’t about to ask. “Are you ok?” he asked instead.

“Me? I’m fine. Fine, fine, Buffy’s fine,” she rambled, jumping up away from him. This was all too confusing. She didn’t see Angel’s smile as she turned away. “Uh, what time is it?” she asked, leaning over and grabbing his wrist to look at his watch. “Half nine. Two and a half hours sleep. Do you think I should check on him?”

Angel had to bite his lip to keep from smiling this time. He was afraid to answer her in case he burst out laughing. ‘She’d probably die of shock if you laughed, pal,’ his mind called out to him and his resolve weakened. As quickly as he could he stood, turning away to hide the enormous grin that covered his face. “Yeah. Why don’t you go and sit with him for a while,” he said eventually, getting himself under control. He turned back to her, his usual brooding countenance once again in place.

Buffy looked at him quickly and then walked to Spike’s bedroom, hating that she might have hurt Angel. “But you are going to hurt him, idiot. He’s going to find out. You should tell him,” she muttered to herself as she pushed open the bedroom door. The bedside lamp was switched on but Spike wasn’t in the bed. Buffy looked around agitatedly. The clothes Angel had found for Spike were missing, as was his beloved duster, which Beth had brought earlier. “Spike?” she called, walking out into the hall, “Spike?”

Angel heard her calling and walked quickly to find her. “Buffy. What’s wrong? Where’s Spike?”

“I don’t know. He’s not in there and his clothes are gone.”

Angel could hear the worry in her voice. Spike would undoubtedly be feeling better than he had been earlier, but he still wasn’t back to his old self. “Don’t worry, we’ll find him.”

Buffy shook her head and walked back through the great hall and out into the conservatory. She noticed that the gate at the top of the stairs was standing open and she could see the moon shining brightly through the arch.

“Oh no. Angel,” she called and the vampire was beside her in a second. “He went out. We have to look for him. He must have seen us on the couch and…” Buffy was talking quietly to herself, but Angel understood where her fear stemmed from. “We’ll search,” he said patting her shoulder gently. Her eyes filled with tears and he cursed. Once he had been so good at comforting her, hadn’t he? “I’ll get my coat,” he said quickly and turned back towards the house. When he returned with his coat however, Buffy was gone.

**********************************

Spike was miserable. He sat at the piano on stage at the Bronze, letting all of his feelings tumble out one after another. The blonde vampire had walked the streets for a couple of hours, not really knowing where he was going or caring what happened to him. Eventually he had found himself outside Sunnydale’s only club, which by that time had closed for the night. He had broken in, determined to drink the place out of alcohol, but when he had saw the piano at the side of the stage he decided to take the long route to the bar.

Now as he thought about the night’s events, he pounded the keys harder. He had done the one thing he had promised himself he would never do over the last three months. He had hurt Buffy. He remembered the look on her face as she watched him kill Riley. She’d never forgive him for that.

Buffy heard the soft music as she entered, keeping to the shadows so that Spike wouldn’t see her. But the undead Englishman was engrossed. Buffy moved closer.

He could smell her. It felt as though she were right there with him. How long had he felt like this? It seemed as though she had always been with him; always been part of him. His fingers moved over the keys without his bidding, as the words tumbled passionately from his mouth.

“She may be the face I can’t forget,

A trace of pleasure or regret,

May be my treasure or the price I have to pay.

She may be the song that summer sings,

May be the chill that autumn brings,

May be a hundred different things,

Within the measure of a day.

She may be the beauty, or the beast,

May be the famine or the feast,

May turn each day into a heaven or a hell.

She may be the mirror of my dream,

A smile reflected in the stream,

She may not be what she may seem,

Inside her. She.

She, who always seems so happy in a crowd,

Who’s eyes can be so private and so proud,

No one’s allowed to see them when they cry.

She may be the love that cannot hope to last,

May come to me from shadows of the past,

That I remember ‘til the day I die.

She may be the reason I survive,

The why and wherefore I’m alive,

The one I’ll care for through the rough and ready years.

Me, I’ll take her laughter and her tears,

And make them all my souvenirs,

For where she goes I’ve got to be,

The meaning of my life is she.”

Buffy could hardly breathe as Spike’s fingers wove magic over the keys during the instrumental section. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest; the blood rushing in her ears. Who was he singing to? And he was definitely singing to someone. Did he still love Dru that much?

“She may be the reason I survive,

The why and wherefore I’m alive,

The one I’ll care for through the rough and ready years.

Me, I’ll take her laughter and her tears,

And make them all my souvenirs,

For where she goes I’ve got to be,

The meaning of my life is she.”

As the song ended, Spike turned his head involuntarily towards Buffy who was standing at the edge of the dance floor. “Buffy!” He jumped up quickly, knocking over the stool in his haste. She had heard it all. Spike ran.

Buffy opened her mouth to call him back but it was too late; Spike had ran out of the back exit. Buffy gave chase.

“Spike!” she shouted, angry that he kept running from this; that they both kept running.

He slowed. Stopped. It was time to face it. Time to tell the truth. She deserved to know. Deserved an apology for the way he had acted earlier. But he didn’t know how he could do it.

“What now Slayer? Another meaningful conversation in an alley? Isn’t this getting a little old?”

“This is about Dru isn’t it. You’re still in love with her,” Buffy said gently. “I know it hurts but eventually…”

Spike still had his back to her and he smiled sadly. “Alright love. If you like, it’s about Dru.”

Buffy winced slightly. ‘You wanted him to say it was about you, didn’t you?’ her mind whispered. “Are you alright?” she asked aloud.

He turned around to face her. ‘No, I’m not alright, you stupid bitch! You’re standing ten feet away from me, and all I want to do of grab you and kiss you and shag you into the ground, ‘cause I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t make love to you soon!’ He really couldn’t say that. He searched for a neutral topic. “How’s your mum?”

“What?” Buffy was surprised by the question.

“Your mum. Joyce. How is she?”

“She’s doin’ ok. Getting better.”

“That’s good.” He spoke sincerely. He liked Joyce. “I, uh, have a present for her, if she’d like it.”

Buffy nodded, unsure what to say next. He’d never answered her question. She tried again. “Are you ok?”

Spike laughed. At least she’d lost none of her determination.

“Me?” he asked quietly, astounded that she was thinking of him at such a time. “How are you?”

It was Buffy’s turn to be shocked. “What?”

“Riley. Are you alright?”

Buffy nodded slightly, confused.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t lie. You hated him.”

“Yes, but I’m sorry it happened like that. I knew when I saw your face… Please, you have to believe I never wanted to hurt you.” He walked a little down the alley away from her. “I couldn’t do that. Not now,” he started to laugh, “Funny ain’t it? Spike, the badass vamp, with a chip in his head and a chip on his shoulder, not being able to say, I love you.”

“What?” Buffy asked softly. Was he really saying this?

“I love you. William the Bloody. Slayer of Slayers. I’m in love with you.” He rolled his eyes and threw his arms in the air in defeat. “Just kill me!”

“You love me?” Hearing it was infinitely more satisfying than suspecting it. She felt a warm glow in her stomach.

“I love you. And I hate it. I hate it and I hate myself for it, ‘cause I can’t hate you. I love you. And seeing you with Riley, that was a thousand times worse than Angel, ‘cause at least I knew that was true love. You’ve haunted me for three and a half years, and now I’m here and I can see you everyday and it’s hell, because I can’t touch you, or hold you. And up ‘til now, I couldn’t even tell you how I felt. And that… song, that was the only way I could say it. The only way I could tell the truth. ‘Cause the truth, that scares me.”

He stared at her for moment, scared and confused, before he seemed to realise what he had done, what he was saying. “Shit!” He turned and ran quickly down the alley before Buffy could stop him.

*****************************

“Will, it’s me. I need to talk to you,” Buffy was bouncing nervously on the spot outside Willow and Tara’s dorm-room. Her sharp knock had disturbed the two witches who were trying, once again, to de-rat Amy Madison.

Willow opened the door quickly, realising from her friend’s tone, that there was little time before Buffy simply kicked the door down. “What is it? What’s wrong?” Willow asked standing aside and allowing Buffy to pass by her. Tara saw Buffy’s agitation and decided to leave the two best friends alone. “I’ll be in the library if you need me,” she said, picking up her bag and history texts, and giving Willow’s hand an understanding squeeze as she passed.

As the door closed behind Tara, Willow turned anxiously to Buffy, her own fear heightened by Buffy’s tension. “Buffy, are you ok? Has something else happened? Tell me.”

“He loves me!” Buffy spluttered quickly, sitting down on the bed for a moment, before standing again and pacing the room.

“Who?” Willow asked, feeling as though she’d joined the conversation half way through.

“Spike, of course!” Buffy was almost yelling. She didn’t know what to do, or say, or think, or feel, or how to react.

“Of course,” Willow breathed, finally understanding.

“Is that all you have to say? Nothing else? No, ‘what’s he thinking Buffy’? Or, ‘what’re you thinking, Buffy’? No exclamations of, ‘Oh My Good God’? ‘Cause I really think that’s what I need right now. Not understanding acceptance!” Buffy was gesturing wilding with her hands. She had thought that it would be easy to deal with. Finding out Spike’s true feelings had been one of main priorities. But hearing him say the words and watching him get so confused by his own feelings… Him. Who was always in control, who always knew what was going on. If he didn’t know, how was she supposed to know?

“But it’s easy to understand, isn’t it?” Willow smiled, stopping her friend’s pacing and putting her hands on Buffy’s shoulders. The Slayer stared at her, her face showing Willow that it certainly wasn’t easy to understand. “It’s not?” Willow said, her own forehead now wrinkling in confusion. “But you said you said you had feelings for him.”

“Feelings that he’s incredibly afraid of… God!… I need him to understand; I thought he did. One of us has to.”

“Understand what?” Willow asked, losing the thread again.

“US!” Buffy really was shouting now.

“Alright Buffy. I think we need to sit down and start this again, ‘cause you lost me.” Willow pulled Buffy over to the couch and they sat down. Buffy took a couple of deep breaths, while Willow tried to remove the confused look from her face. “Start from the beginning and keep going ‘til the end and then I’ll speak, ‘kay?”

Buffy nodded and started to tell Willow everything she’d ever felt about Spike, from the moment she saw him in the alley behind the Bronze three and a half years ago, to the conversation they had had earlier, in the exact same place. She told her about the arousal, the initial fear, the thrill of excitement and the pleasure of spending any time in his company. She explained his ability to read her like a book and understand all her inner most thoughts and feelings, and how his behaviour had changed towards her in the last few months. She detailed the night they’d spent together a few weeks back when she’d forced him to tell her about the Slayers he killed and he’d forced her to realise that there wasn’t any way of fighting it, that one day she’d want to give in. She paid particular attention to the fact that he hadn’t killed her and how complex their relationship had been ever since.

“Wow!” Willow sighed when Buffy had finished, finally seeing the cause of her friend’s confusion.

“Tell me about it,” Buffy said, burying her face in her hands.

“Buffy… do you love him?” That was the only thing Willow really needed to know. She knew Buffy and secretly she had thought for a while that Spike would be incredibly good for her friend. Buffy needed someone who would love her absolutely and stand by her no matter what, but also someone who would stand up to her and fight with her when she needed it. And Spike wasn’t really that bad, was he? ‘I mean he’s got a lot going for him. Handsome, smart, strong, funny… there are others… I just can’t think of them all right now!’ Willow thought.

Buffy looked across at her best friend and knew that Willow at least would understand. “I do. I do love him.”

Willow exhaled loudly and smiled. “Then that’s all that’s important. Buffy, do you remember what you told me, your first day here? ‘Life is short. Seize the day ‘cause tomorrow you might be dead.’” Willow quoted. “If you think you have a chance at a moment’s happiness… then go for it.” Willow squeezed Buffy’s hand tightly, reassuring the young Slayer that she would always be there for her.

“Thank you,” Buffy said, her eyes misting and her throat choked with tears. She and Willow hugged for a few minutes before Buffy pulled herself together and stood. “I really should go; there are a few other people I should see before I do this.”

Willow nodded and walked with her to the door. She gave Buffy another quick hug and then whispered with a devilish grin, “Ring me with the details!”

*************************************

Buffy took a deep breath and knocked on the door of Xander’s apartment. She had gone to Willow first, not only because she was her best friend, but also because Buffy knew that of all the people she needed to talk to, Willow would be the most understanding. Xander on the other hand would be least understanding. Well probably Angel would be least, but Xander was right up there with him in intolerant heaven. ‘Now Buffy, he has good reason,’ she scolded herself, knowing that Xander truly cared about what happened to her.

Anya opened the door and waved Buffy inside, her statement telling the Slayer that she was not at all happy about her being there. “Hey Buff,” Xander called appearing in the doorway of the master bedroom, “What’s up?”

“We were in bed,” Anya stated, and Buffy raised her eyebrows at the pair and smiled.

“Then I’ll leave you to it,” she said turning back to front door. “I just thought you might like to know that Spike’s in love with me.”

“What?” Xander shouted, stepping in front of Buffy so that she couldn’t leave. “Fang-face? Deadboy Junior? We are talking about Spike right? Our Spike? Vampire, blonde hair?”

“Yes Xander, our Spike. He loves me.” Buffy was enjoying causing someone else some confusion for a change.

Xander opened his mouth and then closed it again immediately. He stared at Buffy, not knowing exactly what to say next. Anya rolled her eyes and sighed, accepting that she and Xander were never going to get back to where they had been earlier. “Well, duh. Wasn’t that obvious?”

“What?” Both Buffy and Xander turned to Anya at the same time.

“What? You know now, so what does it matter if I knew?” Anya shrugged and went into the kitchen, leaving the two friends alone.

Xander looked down at Buffy again and saw she was expertly avoiding his gaze. That could only mean one thing. “You love him too, don’t you?”

Buffy looked up at Xander startled and knew he wasn’t going to like it, but he deserved the truth. “Yes.”

A thousand and one thoughts flashed through Xander’s mind as he tried to find the right thing to say to show her how he felt. ‘What? Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? He’s evil. He’s tried to kill you. He’s tried to kill me… and Willow. He’s your mortal enemy. He’s a vampire. You’re a Vampire Slayer. Didn’t you learn anything with Angel? He’s just going to hurt you…’

As he looked at her though, he realised that there was only really one thing he could say. “If he ever hurts you Buffy, I’ll kill him.”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she realised that Xander was giving her his blessing. Her face broke into a huge smile and she thanked God that she’d been given such good friends. She threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly and he hugged back twice as hard. “Thank you Xander. You’ll never know how much this means to me,” she whispered softly, the tears returning to her eyes.

“Yeah well,” Xander smiled slightly, embarrassed.

“I think it’s great!” Anya shouted from the kitchen. Buffy and Xander laughed slightly to each other at Anya’s forceful words. “I hope you’ll be very happy,” she said, returning from the kitchen with a cup of coffee, “And I promise that, one day, when you and Spike are in the middle of some hot, sweaty, incredible sex, I’ll come and knock on your door and disturb you.”

Buffy laughed and gave Xander a quick kiss on the cheek. “When Spike and I are in the middle of hot, sweaty, incredible sex,” Buffy said opening the front door, “We won’t answer.”

*************************************

Giles frowned, concerned, at the statement on Buffy’s face when he opened the door to her. She moved past him into the apartment with a tight smile and walked over to sit on the couch. Giles removed his glasses and placed then on his desk before joining her. He waited for her to speak, knowing that whatever it was, was causing her considerable torment, by the fact that she was chewing on her bottom lip. He smiled reassuringly at her and she started to cry.

Giles looked at her bemused for a moment before hugging her to him. She cried softly in his arms for a few minutes before the tears started to recede. He passed her a handkerchief and she blew her nose, wiping the tears from her face with the backs of her hands. As she had predicted, the events of the last few days had eventually caught up with her and the fatherly statement on Giles’ face had pushed over the edge.

As she continued to sniffle quietly, Giles went into the kitchen and made a pot of tea. Neither spoke until he was again seated next to her on the couch.

“I’m sorry Giles. You must think I’m pretty dumb. After all I’ve seen and faced, the last couple of days shouldn’t really have much of an effect on me.”

“Nonsense,” Giles admonished gently, passing her a mug and offering her a biscuit. “These past few days have been hard on all of us, but you most especially.”

“No, I think I’m way down the list. Faith, Spike, Angel… it’s been worse for them.”

“Yes it has, but you’ve had a lot to deal with, new emotions running through you and the stress is finally catching up. And all that business with Riley…” Giles wasn’t exactly sure how best to help her with that.

“Right, Riley. The worst part is, I’m not going to miss it. I mean, sure, sometimes I’m gonna look around and think, where’s Riley? But after all he did… Kinda put things in perspective.” Buffy swallowed audibly, knowing that if Giles said no, there was no way she could be with Spike. As much as she cared about the vampire, she didn’t want to do anything to hurt Giles. She needed him more than anyone; loved him like a father. He had allowed her to be with Angel, as he knew how much she loved him. But it had been an unwilling acceptance because of all that had happened in the past.

Buffy put her mug down on the coffee table and turned to face her Watcher. “Giles, I need to tell you something. And you’re not going to like it and I’m sorry if it hurts you, but I want you to be completely honest, and trust that I won’t do anything to hurt you.”

Giles put his own mug down, bracing himself for whatever news Buffy was going to impart.

“Spike loves me. And I think, I love him.”

Giles stared at her for a minute unmoving, and Buffy started to worry. “Giles? Giles are you ok?”

As she moved a little closer to him, Giles snapped out of his trance like state and started to laugh. Buffy gaped at him as he continued to shake with laughter. Tears were streaming down his face and he gripped his sides as the laughter caused an ache in his chest.

The Slayer continued to stare at him, shocked and concerned, until Giles saw the look on her face and calmed himself. “Oh Buffy, I’m sorry. It’s just that I was prepared for something so much worse than that.” He hiccupped as his laughter died down and then took her small hands in his. “Buffy I’m not going to tell you what you can and can’t do. You should know by now that all I want is your happiness. If you think that you will be happy with Spike, then I’m sure that everyone will try their hardest to accept it.”

“Are you disappointed?” Buffy whispered, her throat restricting again as the tears threatened once more.

“Oh no Buffy, I could never be disappointed in you. I’ve been thinking for a couple of days that Spike would be just what you need, which is a longer story than I think we have time for now. It won’t be easy. I seem to remember you two fighting constantly last time when you weren’t, um… but I think that’ll it’ll work out better than all the rest.”

Impulsively, Buffy threw herself into Giles’ arms and hugged him close. “Thank you,” she whispered, before adding something she’d been meaning to say for at least a year. “Giles… last time, with Spike… I said something to you, which I’ve meant to say again a hundred times, but never found the opportunity. You’re my family Giles. That thing about you giving me away… It wasn’t because of a spell. It’s because if it ever really happened, you would be the one I’d want there with me. I have a father. A million miles away, I have a father I haven’t seen for three years. And maybe he loves me just as much as my mom keeps telling me he does. But you’re my dad Giles. You’ll always be my dad. And I love you.”

*************************************

Spike’s mind was racing with the events of the last few days. He unleashed his pent up anger and frustration, through wilful destruction of public property. He broke into several of the stores on the high-street, glad that the chip was restricted to harming humans, and proceeded to tear them apart. He carefully avoided Giles’ magic shop, knowing that part of it would smell of the Slayer and needing to avoid temptation at all costs.

“How could I have said that? Why did I tell her? Idiot!” he muttered to himself as he walked through Sunnydale’s streets once more, his fists finding willing targets in car-windows, trying to take pleasure in scaring the local population by openly wearing his game-face.

Eventually he found himself outside the mansion once more and, sighing, let himself quietly in through the front door. He couldn’t see Angel anywhere, for which he was extremely grateful. He had no wish to talk to his Sire, feeling that he might end up either ripping Angel’s arms off, or as a big pile of dust.

As he made his way down the corridor that led to his old bedroom, he saw a girl standing by the wall-length window, gazing out into the garden. “Faith?”

The girl turned at the sound of her name and she smiled slightly at him. “Hey. Where’ve you been? Angel’s out looking for you.” He nodded faintly and she turned back to the window.

“Are, uh, you alright?” he asked moving closer, leaning back against the wall so he could see her face. She didn’t answer and he frowned. “Do you think Riley was the big evil, or do you think there’s worse to come? ‘Cause I don’t think I can take much more.”

Faith smiled again. “I don’t think it was about evil after all,” she answered cryptically and Spike didn’t press for a bigger explanation.

They stood in silence for a few moments before Spike came to a decision. ‘You are about to make the biggest mistake of your unlife,’ he told himself, but he knew that it was the only thing he could do.

“Faith, um, I want you to try and do something for me.”

Faith turned fully to face him, her eyes wide. “Look Spike, I know you’re a hottie and we’re both dead, but I don’t think that B would…”

“Not that!” Spike shouted quickly, feeling slightly embarrassed but also considerably flattered by her words. “It’s a spell. For Angel. A restoration spell for the curse, without any strings attached.”

Faith frowned slightly, before the implications of Spike’s words hit her full force. “He could be with B,” she whispered and Spike nodded imperceptibly. Faith recognised the pain in his eyes as the same feeling welled up inside her. “You must love her a lot.”

Spike smiled sadly and closed his eyes. “Enough to want her happy. Even if it is with that souled wanker.”

Faith nodded in agreement and sighed. She was going to be tied to Buffy forever and if she did this she’d have to watch Buffy and Angel live together happily until Buffy’s death and her own release.

“Where do you want me to start?”

*************************************

Buffy took a short cut through the cemetery, back to the mansion. As she neared the exit she spotted Angel walking towards her along another path. “Buffy,” he called out as he noticed her and she braced herself. She had to tell him now.

“Angel, hey. Did you see Spike?”

“No. You?”

Buffy nodded, avoiding his gaze. “Yeah I saw him. He was at the Bronze.” Buffy took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak when Angel spoke.

“He loves you Buffy. Did you tell him you were in love with him?”

Buffy stared shocked at her former lover, then wrinkled her forehead in confusion. “You know?”

Angel smiled and tilted his head to the side, “Pretty obvious wouldn’t you say?”

“Why does everyone keep saying that? It wasn’t obvious to me. It’s crazy!” she ranted.

Angel continued to smile at her, laughing slightly at her behaviour. “Well everyone on this side of the fence can see the electricity. I guess you couldn’t ‘cause you were in the middle of it.”

Buffy slumped to the ground and Angel sat down beside her, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders. “I thought you’d be mad,” she said at length, still unable to look him in the eye.

“Why? Because he’s my Childe? Because he beat with a crowbar? Because he chained me up and had red-hot pokers shoved through me chest? Or because he’s a cocky bastard, who hates my guts?”

Buffy laughed and looked up at him. “All of the above,” she murmured.

“Well I think we can work something out,” Angel told her. “I want you to be happy.”

“Everyone keeps saying that too,” Buffy said wryly. “Makes me sorry that I’m such a bitch most of the time.”

Angel laughed again and pulled her to her feet. “Well you’ve met your match with Spike there. You know he’s not going to take any crap when you get all sulky and spoilt.”

Buffy punched him lightly in the stomach. “Hey! I’m not that bad.”

“No, you’re not,” Angel agreed, bending and kissing her gently on the top of her head.

*************************************

Buffy pushed open the door to Spike’s crypt nervously; glad she’d been able to talk to Angel. All of her friends had told her to do this and be happy. She was thoroughly determined that this time she would be. “Spike?” she called softly, hopping down the steps into the main part of Spike’s ‘home’.

“He’s not here,” Beth replied, not looking up from her task. Buffy looked across to find Spike’s sister standing by the bed, carefully packing a small bag. “He’s at the mansion.”

“No he’s not,” Buffy told her, walking across to the vampiress. Beth turned and saw Buffy, her quizzical look reminding the Slayer forcefully of the vampire she had come to see.

“Buffy. You know I thought this was all going to go a little differently. Not quite so much torture,” Beth said, needing to finally tell the Slayer what she’d come all the way from England to say. “My brother loves you very much Miss Summers. He’s been sending me letters about you for the longest time. Recent ones have given me a little more cause for concern, but like I said the other day, I like you. What I’ve seen of you anyway. You should give him a chance to prove himself. To prove he loves you.”

“I know he does. He told me earlier. And I do want to give him a chance,” Buffy informed the elder woman firmly. Beth smiled brightly at Buffy’s words and took two steps to pull the Slayer into an embrace. “Thank God,” she whispered. “I know you’re going to be so happy.” Buffy smiled and returned the hug.

As Beth moved away again she remembered one more thing she needed to say to the Slayer. “If you hurt him, I’ll kill you in the most violent way known to man. Understand?”

Buffy nodded quickly and reassured the vampiress, “I won’t hurt him. I promise.”

*************************************

The next morning Buffy and her friends gathered at Giles’ apartment for a late breakfast. Buffy had been unable to find Spike again the previous night and had returned home in the early hours of the morning to shower and change. Once the sun rose she gave up hope of finding Spike easily before that night and grabbed a couple of hours sleep, before heading to her Watcher’s home.

As the Scooby Gang sat at Giles’ dining table, talking animatedly about nothing in particular, all avoiding the subject of Spike in order to try and keep Buffy in equilibrium, there was a loud knock at the door. The nine occupants all looked at each, before Giles jumped up and moved to open to the door.

“Uh, hey, Mr Giles? Is, uh, is Oz here?” the young man asked the former school librarian.

“Devon,” Oz said standing and crossing to his friend.

Giles stepped away from the entrance and the lead singer of ‘Dingoes Ate My Baby’ entered the small apartment.

“Hey man. Oh, I’m sorry if I interrupted your breakfast. I can come back,” he said gesturing towards the door.

“No. It’s ok,” Oz stopped him, “I’m not eating. I’m surprisingly full this morning actually. It’s interesting.”

Buffy started to choke on her orange juice and moved nervously in her seat.

“Well I just came to ask if you’d thought about comin’ back to the band. We really need you Oz,” Devon told the werewolf, placing a hand on Oz’s shoulder.

“Oooo,” Willow cried excitedly, jumping from her seat. “Yes. Oz. Then you can stay.”

Oz looked at his former girlfriend and smiled. “I don’t know Will. Thinks might get awkward…”

“Only for a while. And besides, we all want you to stay. Don’t we?” she asked, looking over at her friends.

“Oh, absolutely,” they chorused. Willow grinned foolishly and clasped her hands together in front of her.

“Ok. Count me in,” he said turning back to Devon.

“Actually man, we have this tour thing coming up… If you want to stay in Sunnydale, then you shouldn’t…”

Oz turned back to Willow. “If we write, when I get back, things won’t be weird. It won’t be forever.”

She smiled, knowing that Oz missed his friends and playing with the ‘Dingoes’.

“You better write everyday Daniel Osborne.”

“I promise Willow Rosenberg.”

*************************************

“Have you seen Faith?” Angel asked Buffy as she entered the mansion that evening. When Angel had returned from searching for Spike, he had found neither his Childe nor Faith in residence, and he was starting to get worried.

“I haven’t seen her since last night, why?” Buffy asked anxiously, seeing the quick flash of fear, which crossed his face. Angel was usually in perfect control of his emotions. Recently however they had been kept near the surface, especially where Faith and Spike were concerned.

“Is Spike here?” Buffy asked moving closer. She’d gone straight to the mansion as soon as the sun had set, in the hope that Spike had, or would return there. Beth was waiting at the crypt and had instructions to call Buffy the minute Spike showed up.

“No he hasn’t come back,” Angel said gently, watching as disappointment filled Buffy’s face.

“Yes he has,” the voice in the doorway disturbed both vampire and Slayer and they spun to face the Englishman. “And he’s brought you a present,” he said carefully, making sure neither one noticed any form of emotion behind the words. “Well it was Faith really, but… well I commissioned it.”

Buffy stared intently at the blonde vampire as he crossed the room slowly to where they stood, while Angel looked behind Spike for Faith. “Where is she?” he asked when she didn’t appear.

“Graveyard,” Spike answered his Sire without taking his eyes off Buffy.

Angel glanced between the two and then turned back to Buffy. “I’m going to find her. You gonna be ok?”

Buffy nodded slightly, her gaze still on her mortal enemy, and Angel disappeared out into the evening dark, without either vampire or Slayer noticing.

They stared at each other for a few minutes, neither saying a word. Spike was trying to remember every detail. This would probably be the last time he would see her. Once he’d given her the restoration spell he was leaving. Leaving Sunnyhell and all the painful memories. Buffy was trying to find the courage to tell Spike that she was ready to face what was between them. She needed to tell him that she cared about him, needed him. Loved him. “Spike…”

“Buffy…” They spoke at the same time, stopping and breaking the tension with slight laughter. “Please let me go first,” Spike said, knowing that if she started to talk he’d rip the damn spell up and pretend it never existed. ‘And why don’t you? Neither you nor Faith wants this, and what they don’t know can’t hurt them.’ But Spike couldn’t do it. He had to let her make her own decisions.

“Before she died, Dru told me about this spell,” he began in a rush; fishing the piece of paper Faith had brought him out of his duster pocket. “I asked Faith to try and find it for me… you know, using whatever she can now she’s whatever she is. Wasn’t hard to find actually. Just that no-one ever looked for it.”

Spike stopped and looked across at Buffy. She was staring at him, a frown marring her beautiful face. Spike inhaled sharply and wondered for a minute if he could go through with this. ‘Do you know what you’re about to throw away? When did you turn into such a bloody poof?! Idiot! Just grab ‘er for God’s sake.’

“It’s a restoration spell, for Angel. Well, you’ll want to use it on Angel. And there’s… there’s,” Spike’s voice faded away as he looked at her. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

They were standing so close. His arms came up of their own volition and pulled her to him. Her eyes displayed a moment of surprise before they filled with a desperate need. “Spike,” she whispered, putting her own arms around him, moving closer.

He lowered his mouth to hers and for a moment, as he held her close and moved his lips over hers, he experienced a bliss like no other. He tasted heaven for the first time in his existence.

But once again he pushed back the temptation, slowly drawing back to look into her flushed face. She blinked her heavy lids open and looked up at him. Then she smiled and for a moment his resolve weakened, but he fought it. “Buffy. This spell… there’s no strings. No ‘one moments perfect happiness’ crap. You can be with Angel. Forever.”

“What?” Buffy was having trouble understanding what Spike was talking about. ‘He kissed me,’ she thought, ‘Wow, he really… and it was… wow!’ She raised a hand to her lips and smiled, ‘Even better than last time.’

“Buffy, are you listening to me?” Spike asked stepping away from her. “Buffy?” he shook her gently and her gaze snapped up to his. “Sorry,” she said, shaking her head to remove all traces of light-headedness, “What did you say?”

Spike sighed. He wasn’t sure he could say it again. She hadn’t listened. Tough.

“This restoration spell for Angel. There aren’t any conditions. Once he gets his soul, it’ll be there forever. And then you and Angel can be together.”

Buffy’s eyes widened in shock. “Spike? You… What… I don’t…” She stopped and took a deep breath, unintelligible thoughts flying round her head. “An irremovable soul?” Spike nodded, his face not betraying the slightest emotion. “And you’re giving it to me?” He nodded again. “Why?”

Spike frowned. “It’s what you want, isn’t it? You and Angel, perfect love, forever, blah bloody blah.”

Buffy started to laugh. Wild, hysterical laughter, she couldn’t control. She’d finally found a way to put Angel behind her and move on, finally found someone she truly wanted to be with, and he was letting her go before they’d even come together.

Spike continued to frown at her. He’d imagined a lot of things, a lot of reactions, but laughter had never been one of them. “Aren’t you going to say thank you?” he asked, becoming annoyed with both her and himself. He watched her, imagining that she must be extremely happy, glad in one way that he had been the ‘cause, devastated in another that she’d never want him that much.

Buffy didn’t hear Spike. All she could hear was her own laughter in her ears and a tiny voice telling her to quickly reassure the blonde vampire before her. She tried to control the laughter, wiping the tears from her eyes and taking deep breaths to steady herself.

Spike couldn’t bear it any longer. He pushed the spell forcefully into her hands and turned away, walking quickly through the conservatory, into the night and out of Sunnydale, before Buffy could say a word.

*************************************

Angel couldn’t find Faith. ‘Graveyard’ in Sunnydale didn’t exactly narrow the field a great deal. He’d searched eight of the twelve before Buffy caught up with him. “Angel!” she screamed, running towards him, her face tortured, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“What? Buffy what’s wrong?” Angel asked urgently, catching her as she collapsed forward onto him.

“He’s gone,” she choked out desperately. “He gave me this and then he left.” That was all she able to say before she dissolved into shaky tears once more. Buffy had gone immediately to Spike’s crypt following his departure from the mansion. Beth however had told the young Slayer that Spike had been to see her earlier and had said he was leaving town as soon as he had given Buffy something.

Angel held her tightly, wanting to know what ‘this’ was, and why Spike thought it necessary to leave. “Buffy,” he asked softly. “Did you tell him you love him?”

She shook her head, unable to form any words. Her crying became even more intense and Angel decided to leave it for the moment. She needed her friends. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her quickly to Giles’ apartment. He kicked the door open, unable to knock and unwilling to let go.

The inhabitants of the small room jumped violently as the door crashed open. When Giles saw Angel carrying a shattered Buffy he strode quickly to him and took the younger girl in his arms. She went willingly, clinging to him as he tried to soothe her. “What happened?” he asked Angel over Buffy’s head.

The vampire shook his head slightly to indicate that he didn’t really know. “She said something about Spike leaving. They were at the mansion, I went to look for Faith and then Buffy came running up. She said he gave her something and then left.”

Giles glanced down at the paper clenched tightly in Buffy’s hand and reached down to take it from her. Willow approached to comfort her best friend as Giles carefully unfolded the paper and read.

“Good Lord!” he exclaimed as he read the ancient spell. “It’s a restoration spell. Rather old, probably one of the first ever produced.” He read the whole spell completely and then re-read it to make sure he wasn’t daydreaming. “It’s permanent,” he said simply when he’d finished.

“What?” Angel grabbed the piece of paper from Giles and quickly skimmed through the text. “A permanent soul,” he whispered, finishing the spell and laying it carefully on the table.

“You and Buffy could be together,” Xander exclaimed, not really knowing the reason for drawing attention to the fact. Anya frowned at her boyfriend, “Xander. I think they realise. Why else is she crying?”

“But it’s a good thing right?” he said confused, before remembering Buffy’s disclosures of the previous night. “Oh.”

Willow hugged Buffy tightly. She could imagine the pain her friend must be in. When Oz had left the year before she had felt as though her world had been torn apart. “Buffy? Do you want to sit down?” Buffy didn’t answer, but she allowed herself to be led to the couch. The Scooby gang all looked at the Slayer, then at each other. They didn’t know what to do to make things right.

Eventually Buffy calmed and looked around at her friends. As she saw their worried faces she decided it would be easier to deal with one thing at a time. She stared up at Angel and his eyes locked with hers, searching, questioning. Finally she nodded. “Do the spell.”

*************************************

Part 8

Faith sat on the edge of the loading docks, wondering what would happen if she jumped in. Angel would have the spell by now. He may even have his soul for all she knew. He and Buffy could be happy, and she was going to spend the rest of her death miserable. ‘Is this my punishment? More effective than hell, I suppose.’

She sat, lost in her thoughts and didn’t hear the small blonde Slayer approach. “Mind if I sit here?” Buffy asked, not waiting for an answer and sitting down next to the younger girl. Faith swallowed. She didn’t know what to say. She’d known that sooner or later she’d have to face Buffy, but she had been praying for later. Way later. “B… uh, where’s Angel?”

“Nice and casual Faith,” Buffy said, smiling at her friend, “You want to tell me why you found that curse?”

“Spike asked me to find it. He wanted you to be happy,” Faith said factually, not wanting to get into the details of why she had done what she had.

“But you love Angel,” Buffy said matter-of-factly, gazing out over the ocean. “Didn’t you want to try and keep him for yourself?”

Faith turned sharply to face the Slayer. “No! Look B, yeah, ok, I care about Angel, but I know how much the two of you want to be together so I thought…”

“We don’t,” Buffy interrupted and Faith’s jaw dropped. Buffy smiled widely. “I’ll always love him in some way, but things change; people change. I love Spike and Angel, well, you’ll have to ask him, but… Now he has a soul… a permanent soul, you two could be together, and be happy.”

Faith couldn’t form any words. She was in shock. Did Buffy just say..? “What?”

“What do I have to do to release you Faith?” Buffy asked, ignoring her friend’s shocked question.

“Release me? I didn’t tell you…”

“You said you were bound to two people and the only way I could get rid of you would be to release you. Doesn’t take a genius. I release you, you go to Angel, or something like that, right?” Faith nodded. “Right, so I release you.”

At the words Faith slowly faded from Buffy’s view and the Slayer was left alone on the edge of the docks.

*************************************

Angel found Spike easily enough. He knew his Childe well and Spike hadn’t had enough time to go very far. He was lying on his and Drusilla’s old bed at the factory, clutching Miss Edith to his chest. Angel moved quietly down the stairs and over to the bed, pushing back all the memories he had of this place. None of them were happy ones.

“What do you want?” Spike asked without opening his eyes. He had known that his Sire would catch up with him eventually; knew that it would be better just to face Angel this one last time instead of continuing to run.

“I want to know why?” Angel said in a low voice. He had been shocked that Spike had done so much to help Buffy and him be together, especially as he was himself in love with the Slayer.

“Why not?” Spike turned over on his side away from Angel, who growled warningly before pulling the blonde vampire up to face him.

“This isn’t a joke Spike!”

“You think I don’t know that?!” Spike roared, forcefully pushing Angel away and jumping up from the bed. He started to pace the small room. “You here to gloat? You’ve got the girl and the soul and now you can live happily ever after, while Spike’s left all alone?”

“I’m not here to gloat,” Angel inserted gently. “I wanted to say thank you.”

“Well you’ve said it. Now, sod off.”

“Spike, just this once, could you not be a bastard?”

Spike opened his mouth to retort but stopped when he saw how serious Angel was. He sighed. “I wanted her to be happy ok? And maybe you don’t believe that an evil, soulless demon like myself could do something so unselfish, but, hey… I’ve always been different. I like to keep people guessing, you know.”

“I know,” Angel said with a slight smile. “But, er, didn’t you want to fight for her.”

Spike laughed deprecatingly and sat wearily down on the edge of the bed. “I’ve thought of nothing but. For the last few months I’ve been searching for the right way to show her… I mean I’ve dreamed about her choosing me you know. Over Riley. Over you… And let me tell you, dreams don’t get any better than that one.”

Angel laughed at sat down next to Spike. “What happened to us? We used to be such good friends. I never thought…”

“I’d betray you. Well first you joined the other team, which kind of put us into enemy territory. Then you came back to the dark side, and stole my woman. What did you expect me to do? Bake you a cake?”

“I’m sorry.”

“And that’s another thing I hate about you. Stop being so damn forgiving. You may want redemption for past sins, but I don’t think it covers hurts you inflict on your own kind.”

“I’m not apologising for redemption, idiot. I’m apologising ‘cause I’m sorry. You know, if you and Buffy are going to be together, you’re going to have to learn how to accept an apology. And probably how to give one.”

“I know how to apologise. Just ‘cause I don’t do it, doesn’t mean I… ‘S’cuse me?”

“I’m going back to L.A. With Faith if I can find her. Buffy and I aren’t meant to be. You should go see her.”

“Angel… Why are you doing this?” Spike couldn’t really believe his Sire was giving up the Slayer. Giving her up, to him! He must be dreaming again.

“I’m noble? Look, she’s happy when she’s with you and I want her to be happy. So go see her. Before she meets another dork whose arms and legs I want to rip off and shove up his…” Angel stopped and took an unneeded breath.

Spike chuckled. “You too, eh? And you’re alright with it? Me and her?”

“Yeah. Look Spike, since you’re gonna be a white hat from now on, do you think maybe we could start over? You know, learn to trust each other again. I’d like it if we could be friends.”

The younger vampire nodded. “I’d like that.”

*************************************

Angel dropped Spike off at the entrance to the graveyard where he lived and drove back to the mansion. He should really go and ask Buffy if she’d found Faith, but he was sure Spike would be on his way to see her after he’d changed clothes and Angel didn’t want to spoil the surprise. He grinned when he thought of what they were all doing. He’d just given up the love of his life to an evil vampire who hated him and was about to tell a woman who’d tried to kill him a few times, how he really felt about her. He’d blame the hellmouth if he didn’t live in LA.

As he entered the main hall he saw the slight figure of a woman standing by the fireplace. “Faith?”

She’d turned at the sound of her name and dropped her gaze to the floor when she saw who it was. “Angel… I er… Buffy said…” She stopped and looked up at him, frowning. She twisted her hands together in front of her and started to pace a little from side to side in front of him. “Buffy, she, uh, she released me. So I guess that means I’m bound to you.” She started talking quickly, not looking at him; trying to explain the situation without saying anything that might give her away, just in case… “I’m supposed to be a ghost, not a Guardian, I guess you already have one of those, but I can still touch things, I mean I’m solid. Do you think they’ll give me a handbook ‘cause I’m gonna need one. I always thought ghosts could walk through walls and things, well I haven’t tried but…”

She got no father as Angel walked quickly across the room to her and pulled her up close to him. Her face held a look of disbelief as he crushed his lips to hers. She stood still for a second before realising what was happening and wrapping her arms around him. He picked her up carefully and walked to the couch, never taking his lips from hers. He sat and positioned her on his lap, one hand moving to cup her head, the other gently caressing her side.

As neither needed to breathe, the kiss continued for several minutes, before Angel remembered he had something to say to her. He pulled away gently and she moaned as his lips left hers, trying to pull his head back down to her. He held her hands in a gentle but firm grip and stared into her eyes. She looked shyly back, wishing that she didn’t get so confused around him.

“I love you Faith.”

Faith couldn’t believe it. She’d wanted to hear those words for so long; had dreamt about Angel telling her that he loved her and wanted to be with her. He was what had kept her together while she had been in prison. And now he really was saying it. She should say something. ‘Tell him!’

“I love you, Angel.”

*************************************

The first thing Spike noticed when he entered the crypt were the candles. The room had never looked so bright. It was beautiful. And confusing. Spike frowned. No one should be here. Beth had gone to stay with Wesley in a hotel for the night, before they left with Angel for LA in the morning. Or so she had told him earlier. Was he interrupting something? “Beth?” he called softly, descending the steps slowly, ready to turn and leave if he found his sister and her Watcher enjoying a special evening.

When he reached the floor the music started. Soft romantic music, which flowed around the room, filling it with loving warmth. He took two more steps before the smell hit him. Vanilla mixed with power and energy. The Slayer. “Buffy?” he croaked. This couldn’t be real. She couldn’t be here, doing this, for him.

She stepped out from behind the pillar and Spike felt his chest restrict. If there had been any chance of his breathing before, it would be impossible now. She looked exquisite, stunning, enchanting. She wore a long, light pink, silk gown, which moulded her figure, emphasizing her tiny waist and beautiful full breasts. Her hair was curled and hung freely around her face and shoulders, making her look incredibly fragile and innocent. She smiled shyly at him, her green-grey eyes, blazing with hope and something else Spike couldn’t quite make out.

“Buffy,” he said again, more forcefully this time. His eyes raked over her face and body, drinking in every inch. “God I love you so much.”

The Slayer’s shy smile grew to fill her entire face as the words were wrenched from his lips without his bidding. For a moment he looked scared as he realised what he had said, but then he couldn’t think anymore as Buffy hurled herself into his arms, pulling his head down to meet hers and kissing him passionately.

The kisses of his dreams seemed inconsequential compared to the reality of kissing the Slayer. She fit so perfectly in his arms, moving instinctually with his lips and hands. He ravished her mouth with a desperate need that had been eating away at him for months, and she returned everything in full, allowing him access to her mouth, tilting her head so that he could kiss her neck. ‘She trusts me,’ he thought and a happiness which he had never felt before suffused his body.

He pulled gently away and Buffy gave a small squeak of displeasure. Spike grinned, a purely male grin of masculine pride, and stepped slightly back. Buffy pouted and tried to move closer but he held her at arms length. “Slayer, we have things to talk about. Things I definitely want to say before we go any further, but if we carry on like this, I’m going to forget everything except shagging you into the damn floor. Understand?”

It was Buffy’s turn to smile. She knew there were things that needed to be said, on both sides, but her ego was swelled with the knowledge that she had that much power over this soulless vampire. “Ok,” she said stepping back to put a little more distance between them, “Lets talk.”

Spike sighed and closed his eyes to collect his thoughts. When he opened them again Buffy had moved and was sitting on top of the stone coffin on which he slept. He moved closer and sat down beside her. “Why didn’t you stay with Angel?”

Buffy continued to look at the floor, knowing it would be best to get this over and done with. “I don’t love Angel that way anymore. He’ll always be a part of me, but we’ve moved on.”

Spike nodded slightly. “And now you… I mean you…”

Buffy looked up sharply and smiled, taking comfort in his confusion this time. “I love you.”

Spike swallowed. Had she just said that? He blinked and decided to make doubly sure. “What?”

“I love you. Me, Buffy, I, love, you, William the Bloody.” She smiled again and he had to restrain himself from grabbing her again. “Anything else? Or can we get back to the smoochies?” she said leaning closer.

He jumped down and moved across the room. “Buffy how can you love me? I’m a vampire. And there’s no soul in here like with Angel,” he said, moving a hand up to cover his heart.

“There’s a chip…” she began but he quickly interrupted. He needed to point out all the things that made this wrong and stupid and dangerous. Then if she still wanted him, he’d know that she truly loved him.

“It doesn’t make me a good person. If it wasn’t there I’d still be trying to kill you.”

“If it came out tomorrow would you want to kill me?”

“God no! I could never do that Buffy, I love you.”

She smiled at his use of her name. She knew what he was trying to do. It wouldn’t make any difference.

“Spike, I’m going to talk now, and you’re going to listen. And when I’m done, you’re gonna get over here and make love to me, or I’m going to kick your ass from one side of this town to the other. Ok?” Spike nodded and she continued.

“You don’t have a soul, but you have feelings and emotions. Maybe you’re not supposed to, but they’re there. And I know that even if you don’t have a soul to tell you not to do things because they’re wrong, you have love and kindness and gentleness and strength, which will help you not to do things that are wrong, in order not to hurt those you love. I saw your love for Drusilla. And it made me so angry at the time, that a soulless demon would go to the length of asking his mortal enemy for help, just so he could be with the woman he loved. Angelus could never love; I don’t believe there are many vampires in the world that could. But you’ve always been different Spike.

“Now it won’t be easy. We’ll fight and bitch, and you’ll have to put up with my sulky moods and childish behaviour. And I’ll have to put up with yours. But I don’t expect to be treated any different by you, and that’s what I need. Someone to stand up to me, but love me all the same. And I need you. I have from the first second we met outside the Bronze. Everything you’ve ever said to me has been the truth, and I’m ready to face it all now. We have something special, and I want it to work. I want us to try. Because life, my life, is too short to worry about whether this is wrong or stupid or dangerous. I need you, and I love you.”

By the time she finished there were tears streaming down her cheeks. Spike was beside her in an instant and held her face gently in his hands. He kissed away her tears, and she started to laugh shakily as he smoothed her hair away from her face. “Shh. Don’t cry love. Buffy. I love you.”

He laid her tenderly back on the stone slab, pulling off his duster before lying down carefully next to her. He looked down into her face and asked a question she had asked him once in his dreams. “Happy?” Her smile lit the room in a way the candles never could and she whispered, “Ecstatic.”

“Are you sure you want to do this here? I wanted everything to be perfect,” he told her, nervously.

“It is perfect,” she reassured him, drawing him down to her, and joining their mouths in a tender kiss.

*************************************

It was and hour before dawn and the twelve friends stood outside the mansion. Wesley had managed to rent a van, which would ensure that Angel and Beth could travel to LA, without perishing in the sun, and he had promised to return sometime in the next week to pick up Angel’s car.

Beth and Spike stood a little apart from the others. His sister seemed happier than Spike had seen her in a long time and he was glad. “So everything’s ok?” he asked, still needing reassurance that his baby sister was alright. She smiled up into his anxious face and hugged him. “Everything’s fine big brother. Wes and I are going to be great. I promise. And you won’t be far away anymore, so that’s another bonus. I expect visits.”

Spike laughed too and held her tight, “Count on it. Especially as ‘dad’ seems to want some family-bonding sessions. Whatever did I do to deserve this?”

“You wouldn’t have it any other way,” Beth said, hitting him gently on the arm. She was glad her brother was happy. And Buffy seemed happy too. She’d known everything would turn out right.

Buffy stood with Angel and Faith, glancing across at her new lover, boyfriend… ‘How can I describe Spike?’ She couldn’t really believe she was this happy. She was never happy and the feeling scared her. And Spike..? She snorted with laughter at the thought of loving her mortal enemy so completely, causing Angel and Faith to tear their eyes from each other long enough to find out why she was laughing.

Angel smiled when he saw whom Buffy was gazing at. “You two good?” he asked.

“Of course, they are. Did you see them when they got here? So B… is he good?”

“Faith!” Buffy and Angel exclaimed at once and the former Slayer laughed at the expressions on their faces.

“That good huh?” she said and laughed even harder when Buffy blushed bright red.

“Uh, guys?” Cordelia called impatiently, as the minutes until dawn quickly slid past. “Do all the vampires want to get inside before the humans get covered in ash?” The Scooby gang wished their friends well and hugged them goodbye. Cordy climbed behind the wheel and started the engine; while Giles and Xander made a final check that no light could get into the back of the van.

Beth hugged Spike one final time and kissed his cheek. They walked hand in hand to Wesley who stood nervously by the side of the van. He’d been dreading having to talk to the blonde vampire, knowing that Spike would probably be angry at his treatment of Beth. The vampiress climbed into the back of the van and Spike turned to Wesley. “Take care of her.”

Wesley sighed in relief and smiled. “I will. I do love her.”

“Good,” Spike said nodding, “Cause if you hurt her, I’ll show you how I got my nickname.” Wesley swallowed, nodded once and climbed into the van behind Beth.

Spike walked over to Buffy, Angel and Faith, struggling to suppress his laughter.

“Oh. I know what that look means,” Buffy said as he approached. “What did you say to poor Wesley? Have you been tormenting him?”

Spike’s face displayed a look of pure innocence. “Who me?”

She punched his shoulder and he grabbed her around the waist, pulling her to him and burying his face in her neck. She shrieked delightedly at the feel of his lips nibbling her skin.

Angel and Faith looked at each other, briefly smiling in amusement at the behaviour of vampire and Slayer. The sound of the van’s horn broke the couple apart and they turned back to their friends. Buffy hugged Angel and Spike hugged Faith. The blonde Slayer and dark vampire held each other’s eyes for a second of complete understanding before wishing each other goodbye.

“Thank you,” Spike whispered in Faith’s ear and she nodded. “And I forgive you. For that time, in the Bronze.” Her shocked eyes shot to his laughing ones. “You were right though,” he added and she burst out laughing.

“Care to share?” Buffy said appearing between the two and enfolding Faith in a hug of her own.

“I’ll tell you later Slayer,” Spike promised, moving towards Angel.

“I love you,” Buffy said softly.

“I love you too B,” Faith assured the Slayer.

“Take care of her,” Angel told Spike as he hugged his Childe for the first time in a century. “And yourself,” he added softly.

“I promise,” Spike told his Sire. “Be good.”

Angel laughed and took Faith’s hand, and the pair joined Wesley and Beth in the van.

*************************************

“I did that book already!”

“You might have missed something. We don’t exactly have an endless supply of books!”

“Can the two of you keep it down please?” Giles asked the vampire and Slayer without raising his head.

“He started it,” Buffy mumbled.

“Me? It was you, Miss-I-did-that-book-already. As though you get everything right first time.”

“Are they dating?” Anya asked Xander as she watched Buffy wrestle Spike to the floor of the magic shop. He nodded, catching one of the books they were researching from, as it was knocked to the floor by the movement, without stopping his reading. “Xander are you listening? Oh… never mind,” she sighed as the wrestling for dominance turned into wrestling for pleasure and the two blondes started to kiss.

“Maybe we shouldn’t be here,” Anya suggested, turning her attention to the two witches on the other side of the table.

“What?” Willow asked looking up, and seeing Buffy and Spike making-out on the floor. In the two weeks since they had announced their relationship to their very relieved and happy friends, the Scooby gang had gotten used to the couple’s inability to sit through a meeting together without having some sort of argument.

The first time it had happened they had both stormed from the room angry, and Willow had been worried that her best friend would be hurt. But Buffy seemed happier than ever. In fact Willow had never seen her looking so radiant and joyous on a constant day-to-day basis.

When Willow had broached the subject with her friend, Buffy had laughed and explained that all she had ever really wanted was for someone to treat her like an equal instead of putting her on a pedestal and that Spike always made her feel special, even when they were arguing. “I know Spike loves me,” Buffy had told her, “And I love him. Doesn’t mean we’re different in anyway. We disagree, we fight; that’s normal right. All that’s different now is that I get the added bonus of making up with him afterwards.”

Looking at the couple on the floor and knowing what was coming next from her long conversations with Buffy, Willow nodded frantically at Anya. “Yes, yes. I don’t think we really need to be here. We should go to Giles’.” She, Tara and Anya stood, each picking up a couple of promising texts, and Anya dragged Xander to his feet. “Hey!” he exclaimed, as his girlfriend pushed a pile of books into his arms. “What the..?” Anya pointed to where Spike and Buffy still lay, the four friends around the table noticing that Buffy’s denim shirt and Spike’s black silk one had been removed.

“Giles!” Willow shouted, unable to tear her eyes away as Spike’s hand slid under Buffy’s white vest, and her best friend started to tug at Spike’s white t-shirt. The Watcher looked up at Willow’s call and moved his gaze to follow that of the Slayerettes. “Oh dear God!” he yelped and grabbed his jacket from the chair next to him. He picked up his books and moved quickly to the door, the Scoobies following swiftly behind.

The vampire and Slayer were oblivious to everything but each other. Over the next few years they would laugh, cry, fight, fear, learn, care and protect. Most importantly they would love and continue to love, no matter what. And now in the silence and half-light of the magic shop, they loved.

*************************************

The End