Author: Evelyn

Rating: PG-13 (to be on the safe side, plus being British don’t know that much about US ratings, oh and one swear word)

Disclaimer: I’m at university, so yeah, I can afford to buy BtVS and all the rights to the characters. Not mine, I simply create havoc in their universe.

Author’s note: Set in season 4, Spike has the chip but there is no Riley (woo hoo!); that relationship went wrong before it could get started (my universe, deal with it). Everything else should make sense; though this is my first fanfic so that’s unlikely. I wrote this when I fused the downstairs electricity (don’t ask) so could not finish watching ‘Ever After’, that might explain the ending, (‘Ever After’ also not mine: big surprise there). The title is from a Red Hot Chilli Peppers song (again with the not mine, starting to think I don’t own anything) and it is my fave song at the moment.

Summary: Set in season 4. B/S (yeah, I’m big on the details)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

‘With the wind howling across the moor the hero leaned down to claim the mouth of our heroine.’

Buffy threw the book across the room, *and they all live happily ever after, yeah like that ever really happens*

The bang caused by the book hitting the door made Willow look up from her laptop, “Bad ending?” she queried.

“Girl gets guy of her dreams, blah blah blah”

“You don’t like happy endings anymore?”

Buffy sighed running her fingers through her hair: “it’s just…”

“You want one. Just because it didn’t work out with Angel, and Parker was a poop-head and…”

“And Riley was too ‘nice’” supplied Buffy *read: no chemistry, it was like going out on a date with a puppy………ugh, bad imagery*

“You’ll find somebody”

“Who? And when?”

Willow’s head turned towards the door “Spike”

If Buffy had of been drinking she would have sprayed it all over the room “What!? Will, I’m not gonna date Spike” *Though he’s nice to look at* *Nice! Nice!, is that the best you can come up with no wonder your still single, sexy as hell’s more like it!* *Who are you?* *You* *I would never think Spike’s sexy* *Raised eyebrow look* *How can a voice look…never mind……..and shut up*

Willow giggled “No stupid, at the door”

Buffy turned

“Ready for patrol, pet? If you’ve finished debating the merits of dating me that is?” Spike drawled with a smirk.

“Shut up” Buffy muttered as she grabbed her weapons bag off the floor “’Night Will”

Moonlit cemetery

*I spend my life in what for some twisted reason romance writers see as being a romantic setting, they should spend time in it with a neutered vampire* *See they’re right really* Buffy couldn’t stop the blush, and silently willed for the voice, her… whatever to shut up.

Spike caught the rush of blood to her face and turned to look at her.

“You alright luv?” he questioned

“Fine, you’re the one who is wrong if you go around asking stupid questions like that”

*Bloody hell, she’s defensive tonight*, he decided to change the course of conversation before he ended up with a stake through his heart.

“What’s with all the weaponry, pet?” he said gesturing to her bag

“Guadaros demon, Giles said he heard one was making a nest on the hellmouth”

“The Watcher has sources now?”

Buffy glowered at him for the jibe at Giles

“So how do we kill it, simple slice and dice?” asked Spike trying to change the subject.

“Spike the thing has got three four inch claws on each of it’s three arms, is like armour plated and has two flame throwers! Nothing about it is simple, why Giles wanted me to have some help on patrol, though I don’t think you qualify”

“Shit….you meant a Kuadasa”

“What?”

“Not a Guadaros demon a Kuadasa, God your watcher must really hate me”

“Well yeah, you demon him….not. Why?”

“Kuadasa translates as Hell’s Spawn, it’s a killing machine, and I mean it kills everything, human and demon”

“How do you know this?

“Just do alright, don’t survive for 120 years without knowing what can kill you”

“Then you go out, find them and spend your evenings with them?” Grinned Buffy,

Spike just rolled his eyes

A roar from the other side of the cemetery told them their prey was here. They immediately took off at full speed towards it, until Spike grabbed Buffy’s arm sending her crashing into him. Spike gulped at the feel if her warm body pressed flush against his. Buffy took a step back and glared angrily at him “What the hell did you do that for fang face” Her voice came out more breathily than she’d been aiming for, *God how does he do this to me*

“How do we kill it?”

“What?”

“You haven’t told me, luv. We got side tracked with the arguing”

“Chop off its head”

“You laughed at my slice and dice idea!”

“You said simple slice and dice; I was just pointing out th…..”

“Buffy?” Spike asked at the look of horror that had just formed on her face

*He said my name, wow…* *OK, great you finally start to come round to my way of thinking but…BIG MONSTER, can we please not die just yet!*

Spike’s head swung round to follow her gaze

“Bloody hell” he whispered

The 9 foot demon had come up behind them while they’d been arguing.

Spike saw the spark in its flame ducts and grabbing Buffy dived to the left just as the Kuadasa sent two long jets of fire at them. Rolling underneath to break her fall Spike yelled “Where’s the bloody weapons bag?”. Buffy snapped out of her stupor “I dropped it, I think I left it back where we were before”

They were both up and running before the demon noticed they weren’t deep fried crispy bits.

“This one’s slow” Spike yelled “Probably hasn’t eaten yet”.

“Which means it’s really hungry right now, great!” Buffy retorted with sarcastic cheerfullness “we can be the entrées… wait what do you mean this one, you’ve fought these before?”

“You don’t fight these things Slayer, you run” Buffy turned to look in his eyes and saw honest to God fear in them for the first time *We’re gonna die* she thought. Spike seemed to be reading her mind “Not yet luv…. There’s the bag”

Buffy grabbed her crossbow and Spike took an axe. They turned to see the Kuadasa gaining on them. “I need a weak spot” screamed Buffy over the roars of the demon. Spike’s eyes were desperately searching for somewhere that Buffy could aim at that wouldn’t be followed by the arrow bouncing off the creatures impenetrable scales. He saw the little spark in the flame ducts, the precedent to a jet of fire.

“The flame throwers” He yelled at her “They’re unprotected”

The demon screamed in rage as the arrow penetrated its flesh and it whipped it’s tail round sending Spike flying into a tree where he fell into an unconscious heap at the bottom. Buffy stopped herself from screaming out his name as he fell. The Kuadasa was concentrating totally on Spike, it had forgotten about her. Allowing her to creep up behind it, picking up the axe Spike dropped on his way.

With mounting horror Buffy suddenly realised what the Kuadasa intended to do. The creature drew in a deep breath, Buffy watched in shock, terror rooting her to the spot. Then she grinned as relief washed over her, the demon couldn’t flame her arrow must have done some serious damage. Buffy’s smile widened, as she swung her axe at the creatures neck. It bounced off. *OK, no flame throwers, but 9 claws, a crushing tail and an impenetrable neck, maybe I could persuade it to sit down for a manicure to even the score up a bit* Buffy thought. She jumped over its wildly sweeping tail. She turned as she heard Giles’ yell. Spike staggered upright just in time to see Buffy turn away from the demon’s down crashing backhand. “Down” Spike screamed. Buffy’s legs seemed to responded to Spike’s cry before her brain even had time to process it, the Kuadasa only caught her left arm, instead of sending her crumpling to the ground.

Giles and Willow started chanting sending a huge cloud of shimmering green around the head of the creature. “Buffy the axe!”, but Buffy was already halfway towards it,

“Behind much?” she retorted to Spike’s yell ducking under the demons flailing arms, the spell Buffy figured was disorienting it, and hopefully allowing her to kill it. She swung the axe towards the creature burying the head of the axe itself in the back of its neck.

After letting out an outraged scream the creature stumbled to the floor crushing Spike beneath an outstretched limb. Buffy ran around the demon to Spike “Giles, he’s stuck” *Oh, God. He’s unconscious*, Buffy could see the blood pooling around the top of the Kuadasa’s arm. Suddenly the demon began to melt down. Buffy had barely had time to register the thought that at least she wouldn’t have to get rid of its corpse when Spike started screaming. The demon’s remains were burning him. Buffy swiped her hands across Spike’s stomach to try and remove the goo but leapt back as it started to burn her too.

“Will, we have to help him” Buffy pleaded. The agony on Spike’s face was shattering Buffy’s heart. Willow stood over Spike’s prone form and raised her hand’s in the air, levitating the creature’s remains away from him.

“Buffy are you alright?” Willow queried breathing heavily from the exhaustion caused by performing two spells so close together. “Giles realised you wouldn’t be able to kill it with out making the scales around its neck disappear. He translated that bit after you left for patrol”

“Thanks Will, is he going to be alright?” Buffy asked turning her attention back to Spike.

“Buffy I’m sorry” said Giles “I didn’t realise how powerful this beast really was otherwise I wouldn’t have sent you out here”.

“Giles its fine, help me take Spike home.”

“Back to his crypt?”

“NO! Giles look at the state of him can you take us to Mom’s”.

1630 Revello Drive

“Buffy what happened?”

“Hi Mom, demon run in, Spike’s pretty beat up”

“Oh dear, come in, put Spike on the couch”

Buffy went inside and laid Spike down while Joyce turned on the light

“Oh my God!” she exclaimed, “Buffy he’s burnt and he’s bleeding”

“He got hit into a tree and then burnt by demon goo”

Buffy lent down and carefully eased Spike’s duster off.

*Oh God* she struggled to contain the wave of nausea that swept through her at the sight of Spike’s torso. His black t-shirt had three large tears across his abdomen. Blood was seeping from the skin torn by the clawed hand that had thrown him into the tree.

“Mom, I’m gonna need some bandages, and he needs some blood, could you call Willy’s and have some delivered over”

“Of course sweet heart, then do you mind if I go to bed, I’ve got a long day tomorrow, you’ll stay the night here?”

“Yeah Mom, don’t worry, I’ll make sure Spike doesn’t bleed on the couch”

Joyce couldn’t hide her smile when she turned at the top of the stairs to see Buffy tenderly run a hand through Spike’s wayward hair.

Spike woke the next morning heavily disorientated *Where the hell am I?*. He blinked open his eyes, but quickly shut them again as the pain of attempting to sit up was too much. He extended his senses to try to work out where he was. He froze, it smelled like the Slayer *I’m in her house, what happened?..............Oh yeah the demon, shit that hurt* he thought remembering the claws tearing into his stomach. *I should feel weaker than this, she must have found me some blood,* he tried to push down the warm fuzzy feelings that sent him. Something that had been knocking on his senses for the last couple of minutes finally got through, he froze. *She’s here* He forced his eyes open and turned to look at the chair next to the couch. She has curled up with his duster over her still fast asleep.

He hauled himself up into a sitting position, fingering the bandages across his stomach. As he shifted so he could see her better, he assessed his injuries. His back and head was bruised, but that had almost healed. The burnt skin across his lower arms and stomach was healing too *Wait, burnt, when did I get burnt?* “Slayer, slayer” he whispered, he wasn’t sure who else was in the house, and it was only just after dawn. *Nothing, great now I’m going to get into trouble for waking her mum up* “Slayer get up” he called. All she did was snuggle down further into his duster *God the girl could sleep through a thunderstorm, and she’s using my duster as a sodding duvet, when I get it back it’s going to smell like her…….* He swallowed heavily.

“Spike?”

Spike dragged his gaze away from the sleeping slayer

“Hey Joyce, I didn’t wake you did I?”

“I’ve got to go in early to the gallery” she said waving away his question

“Are you feeling better?”

“I’ll be all healed by the end of today, nothing’s broken, but the sodding Slayer won’t wake up”

“She’s not very good at mornings”

“Hey! I’m awake now anyway I’d be less tired if I hadn’t been lugging your carcas back here” She exclaimed, glaring at Spike

“You could of just left me”

“Left you Spike you were unconscious and badly burnt!”

“Your hands are burnt too” he retorted

“Trying to save you” She returned angrily *God, he gets me so mad*

“What?” he whispered *She tried to save me!*

Look of shock on his face made Buffy dip her head and nervously lick her lips

“The erm,…. demon melted,…you were trapped,….under, under it….it started to burn you……”

“Buffy?” he whispered, putting his hand under her chin to lift her face so he could see her “how did you burn your hands?” he asked seriously.

“Trying to get the melting demon away from you, you were in so much pain even though you were unconscious, I had to make it stop, and then it burnt me too, though not as badly as you, maybe it reacts with dead skin more or something, then Willow levitated the stuff off you and……”she was cut off in her rambling by Spike pressing a finger to her lips to silence her.

“Thank you Buffy”

Buffy’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened. *Oh wow!*

Spike swallowed nervously, “What?” he queried

“You apologised and you called me by my name”

“Well don’t get used to….” He tried to joke, but was cut off by Buffy covering his lips with her own. He pulled back shocked “Buffy?” he asked uncertainly. He was thrown by the huge grin that spread across her face.

“You did it again!”

“What?”

“You said my name”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I’m Trying to Say 2/3

A look of horror passed over Spike’s face. *She likes me, Oh God*. Grabbing the blanket from the side of the couch, he bolted to the door. Buffy ran out after him calling his name. Spike dropped the blanket and dived into the nearest man hole and into the sewer. Buffy stopped out on her front. *Oh God*, she was shaking all over. *I’m an idiot; I thought he liked me, God, could I be more dense. I’m doomed to badness*. *He’s gone* she thought as she watched him disappear beneath the road. She bit her lip to stop the tears from coming. With a choking sob she turned and ran back into the house.

*Stupid sodding pillock. Should have just grabbed and kissed her senseless*. *I don’t like the Slayer* the other voice in his head carried regardless since it deemed refuting the obvious too bloody stupid to acknowledge: *She’s incredible and beautiful, she saved your life and was sitting there asking you to kiss her and you ran away…you’re an idiot…. She likes you*. Spike shook his head to try to clear the Buffy induced fog caused by the replayed memory of her lips on his. *She can’t like me* his thoughts studiously ignoring the word love. *I’m a soul-less demon* he thought bitterly. *Then why are you always looking out for her through the trees when she patrols, just to make sure she’s safe. Always helping out her and the Scoobies. You’re not just in it for the money*. The voice stated quickly at Spike’s silent rebuttal. *That’s just an excuse to spend more time with her when she has to come round to pay you*. *You love her*. Spike’s eyes opened in shock *no I don’t* he refuted desperately. But he could see everything falling into place: his obsession with killing her; his jibes about Angel and Parker: he wanted to take their place in her life, her heart. *Oh God* he thought as a wave of dizziness pitched over him and he sank to the floor. He looked down to see blood soaking through the bandages across his stomach. *Damn* he thought as he slipped into unconsciousness keeling over onto the sewer floor.

*What if he got burnt by the sun?*. *Good. I hope he dies, or undies, or…whatever!*. She glared at her reflection in the mirror, daring it to cry. *Go find him*, *no I don’t need him, he ran away. I can’t, I can’t see that same look of horror on his face, like before he left*. *What if he’s hurt?*. With a sigh Buffy stood up and pulled on his duster from the bottom of the wall where she had thrown it in her rage.

She wandered over to the cemetery which contained Spike’s crypt. Raising her fist to knock on the door; she rolled her eyes and slammed the door open so it cracked into the wall *No need to change the habit of a lifetime*. She paused, she’d only known Spike for just over two years not a ‘lifetime’ but she couldn’t imagine her life with out him. She let out a soft groan *God, I am so smitten*. She marched further into the crypt hollering Spike’s name. She ducked down into the lower level of the crypt to see if he was asleep. His bed was empty and unmade. She went down and sat on it. *He’s not here and it’s sunny outside. If he got himself dusted I am so going to stake him.* She thought angrily, then started giggling when she realised how absurd her last thought actually was. She slipped off Spike’s bed and onto the floor laughing with the kind of hysteria that came from her brain suddenly processing the last two days and the absurdity of it all. *I kissed Spike* she thought, *I mean it’s Spike*, she giggled harder.

Spike pulled himself through the hole in the bottom of his crypt that led to the sewers. *Shit* he thought as his injuries complained at this activity. He had regained consciousness in the sewer 15 minutes ago, and now one half of his body was now soaked in sewer water. His nose wrinkled in disgust *God I need a shower*. That was when he heard her.

Spike walked up to his bed to find the Slayer in hysterics. He raised one eyebrow at her actions but couldn’t stop the smile that was tugging at the corner of his mouth. Her laughter was infectious and he chuckled. Buffy’s head shot up, her giggles subsiding “Spike” she gasped. Her shock dispersed and she took in the state of him. His hair was plastered to his head his clothes were clinging to one half of his body where they were soaked. “What the hell happened?” She demanded. He looked down sheepishly “I passed out” he said with a wry grin. “Spike your bleeding!” Buffy exclaimed as she glanced at his stomach. “Yeah, think a ripped open one of the claw marks” he said with a shrug.

“Let me have a look” Buffy demanded. “What?!” he said backing away from her “No, it’s fine”

“You need the bandages changing other wise the wound will heal attached to them”

“When did you become Nurse Buffy?” he sneered at her.

“When you’ve received as much damage on the battle field as I have you learn how to deal with a major stab wound” she grinned up at him, as she started to unpin the bandages. He looked down at her upturned face, compassion filling his eyes “You shouldn’t have to go through that alone” he whispered, one hand reaching up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. Horror flitted across his face as he seemed to realise the implications of what he’d just said.

“I mean….” he cleared his throat “you should tell your Mum or someone when you get injured”. He shifted uncomfortably as he became increasingly aware of her nearness. “Yeah, ‘cause what I really need is for my Mom to throw a fit every time I go on patrol when she discovers how often I get injured” she retorted with a roll of her eyes.

Spike watched her as she worked. He couldn’t admit he had feelings for her, it would be giving up on his old life completely. He needed to be Spike, he couldn’t be William, it would kill him, *it did the first time* he thought wryly.

Buffy finished pinning the new bandages and stood back to admire her handiwork, “All done”. Spike relaxed to sit back on the sarcophagus, “thanks, I’m going to get some rest now”.

“Don’t you think we should talk about before, you know, you running away and all”

“There’s nothing to talk about Slayer”

Buffy opened her mouth to vent her anger at his seemingly easy dismissal of her feelings when the door exploded the wood shattered into dust and falling to the floor, the lock pooling into molten iron on the step. The snarling beast outlined by the sun in the doorway charged towards them:

“I challenge you, William the Bloody, to a fight to the death, you miserable turncoat”

It backhanded Buffy across the room. Spurring Spike’s growing anger. He grabbed the stone lid of the tomb and brought it down heavily on the beasts head. He moved quickly forward to the now unconscious demon and viciously twisted its head off.

Spike turned and looked at the bruise forming across Buffy’s cheek.

“I should go Slayer”

“What?” she whispered

“I’m the big challenge in this region, ‘go beat on the traitor’” he spat

“What about us?”

“You tried it vamp before slayer” Spike sneered at her “That went bloody well as I recall”

Buffy stared back at him as if she’d been slapped. Spike felt his heart shatter *I can’t do this to her* he thought, but he had to end it now:

“This could never work. You Slayer, me Vampire; are you bloody stupid or something?” *Yeah piss her ‘til she stakes you that’ll solve all your problems*.

“So, you’re what? Leaving for my own good? I hate you!”. She turned and stormed out of the crypt. Spike’s horror melted into a look of revulsion. *Oh sodding hell, I’ve turned into Angel!*.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I’ll be there 3/3

*Yeah, focus on that part of what she was telling you. She said she hated you, you sodding fool, you’ve just let her walk away, do you really want to be your sire?*. *I’m not bloody Hairangel! Buffy and I can’t be together we’d end up killing each other*. *Unlike now?*. Spike sighed and sat down, wearily rubbing his hand across his face. *Do you love her?* Spike swallowed heavily *I….I can’t*

Buffy rolled her eyes in frustration. The anger was burning blindingly within her, she had to stay mad, if she stopped she’d collapse into tears. Buffy tossed that thought aside, *Stupid sodding vampire, Why the hell won’t he accept what’s between us, I know he can feel it too.* Buffy was distraught, everyone she let herself get romantically involved with left her, *This is so unfair, what do I do, only save the world! What do I get, sodding misery. Maybe getting drunk would help*. The logical part of Buffy started yelling loudly at this point, *Us and alcohol, are you crazy!?* as Buffy strode determinedly towards Willy’s Bar, it decided *reason has left the building*.

Meanwhile Spike was wallowing in a pit of despair. *I can’t leave, ‘cause if she got hurt it would be my fault* *Nothing to do with the fact that you would miss her for every hour of every second of every..* “Shut up” Spike growled cutting off the voice, it was beginning to sound too much like William for his liking. He needed to drown it out, drown being the operative word. He turned around to grab his duster. “Bitch” he swore as he realised Buffy was still wearing it. Grumbling loudly he headed towards Willy’s Bar.

“Set ‘em up Joe” Buffy declared loudly, already on her third vodka shot. “Look Slayer, don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Willy said, he was getting worried, apart from one very depressed slayer the bar also contained several demons who might take offence at the slayer using their watering hole. “I can handlemeliquor” Buffy slurred.

Spike stormed into the bar slamming the door closed behind him. “Pint of O negative” he growled. But he was knocked to the ground by a squealing Slayer

“Spike you didn’t leave!”

From his position on the ground Spike looked up at the Slayer perched on his ribcage.

“Bloody hell Slayer, what the hell…..’ere are you drunk?”

“No Spike! Buffy and drink bad mix-y things!”

Spike struggled to push himself upright displacing the Slayer onto his lap.

“Get up Slayer”

“No, don’t want to”

“Well I want you to”

“No you don’t. I can tell” said Buffy grinning at him. Spike swallowed ducking his gaze.

“OK Slayer, I’m taking you home” he said lifting her off his lap and onto a bar stool.

Buffy beamed at him, leaning forward to whisper in his ear. Spike’s eyes went wide.

“Not what I meant Slayer! I’m dropping you off at home so you can sober up” he explained. His voice sounded funny to his own ears and desperately tried to clear his throat.

Spike was struggling to keep Buffy from falling on her face.

“Bloody hell luv, will you stop fighting me! I’m trying to keep you upright”

“Me?!” exclaimed Buffy “You’re the one weaving all over the road” Spike just rolled his eyes in response, making the descision that it would be easier and quicker he swept her up into his arms, carrying her up to the front porch *nothing to do with how much you want to feel her in your arms at all* Spike swore the voice could smirk.

He tried to put her down on the step, “Your stop luv” he declared, but Buffy determinedly kept her arms wound around his neck a tear rolling down her cheek. “No you’ll leave” she whimpered. Spike stared down into her tear filled eyes, and he felt his heart breaking for the second time in two days. “Damn” he muttered. Picking her up again and carrying her through the door.

Spike laid Buffy down on the bed, gazing down at her sleeping form. He tried to untangle her arms from around his neck so he could stand up. However, she just mumbled and pulled him closer to her causing Spike to stumble onto the bed beside her. Giving up on trying to extricate himself from her grip, he lay down beside her and fell asleep. A slow smile spread over Buffy’s face in her sleep as she snuggled into Spike’s chest.

Spike lifted his heavy eyelids and took a deep breath to try to wake himself up. His stunned brain registering Buffy’s scent and the presence of her warm body pressed up against his. Before he could stop it a smile broke out over his face, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so happy.

Spike was broken from his reverie by a groan from Buffy. He rolled over so he could look at her “Hey” he whispered. Next to him Buffy froze. She opened her eyes to see Spike’s face eclipsing the rest of her room.

“What……….what happened, why are you here?” Buffy said wincing at the volume of her voice.

“You wouldn’t let me go” he murmured, letting a small smile pull on the corner of his mouth. Buffy just stared at him, the recollections of last night rushing over her as she gazed into his eyes, a blush colouring her cheeks. Spike lent towards her

“I love you” he whispered catching her mouth with his own.

THE END