Must Have:

Buffy being a vampire

Spike being a Slayer (can you tell yet that it's somewhat AU-ish?)

Them getting together

Spike still has to have his British accent

Buffy is the one with the um..."fondness" for alcohol and smoking

Must include at least three of the following:

Both of them getting drunk

Buffy explaining about her vampire past (this is where a writer's creativity SHOULD come into play)

Spike getting smooched by Buffy

A Billy Idol song of some sort

Title: Out of Their Minds

Author: S_Star

Set: AU S5, but it’s 2002, in Chatham, Kent, England. I live there. Yes, it’s a dump, but it’s a dump with lots of cemeteries (7 within twenty minutes walking) and lots of churches (15 in half an hour walking), so please just play along! Oh, did I mention the 8 pubs in 10 minutes walking?!)

Summary: Response to Challenge 21 on Death Marked Love. It’s extremely AU, but I’ve tried to keep all the usual characters intact.

Rating: PG-13, I think

Pairings: Read the challenge. Oh, and there’s some S/Raquel. I’m sorry, I don’t like it either! But it is kinda necessary. I think. There’s also a pinch of W/X, but not much.

Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a genius called Joss Whedon – stop me if you’ve heard this one before – and he made a terrible film called Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This film really, REALLY sucked, but it inspired a TV show with characters such as Dawn, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, Angel, Cordelia, Giles, Buffy herself and the ‘sizzling Spike’. People around the world loved this show, and so they wrote stories about what they think will or should happen. None of the characters belong to these fans, but they like to borrow them for no fee. Thus was born the fanfiction phenomenon. The End.

Oh, and that’s what this is. Don’t sue.

Also, parts of the plot may seem – ahem – familiar, so give the credit where it’s due.

But Raquel’s all mine. I know, I hate her too. But I had to put some equivalent and she was the first one out of the hat.

Feedback: Praise to ceele001@medway.org.uk or s_star_luvs_william_the_bloody@yahoo.com or s_star@buffymail.zzn.com, insults to your Recycle Bin. Kidding, but no hate mail or death threats, ‘kay?

Dedication: Hilary, for setting the challenge and so many other brilliant challenges. Keep ‘em coming!

The Background

Our story is set in Chatham, Kent, England, and that’s where the Slayer, William Sanguis, lives. He has, over the years, earned the nickname ‘Spike’ through his amazing skill with a stake…*cough*and other things*cough*

Yes, a male Slayer. A prophecy had previously stated that such an event should come to pass for the good of the world. He was raised in London, hence the Cockney accent, but had to move to Chatham after a great evil was said to be meant to rise there, and he stayed, attending ‘Mid Kent College’ with some of his friends (below).

Buffy Summers, born in Los Angeles, CA, is a master vampiress, previously known as ‘B’. She came to Chatham in an attempt to kill the Slayer, but a spell was put on her by a Wiccan friend of William’s so that she can no longer harm humans without ‘intense neurological pain’ (sound familiar?). Therefore she hangs around, sometimes helping Spike with his job, and sometimes hindering.

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ:

William ‘Spike’ Sanguis: Vampire Slayer

Buffy Anne Summers (pka ‘B’): Vampire

Raquel ‘Kelly’ Jones: Prospective Slayer, girlfriend of Spike, attends ‘Mid Kent College’. Chatham born and bred, but without the accent, and neither chav nor grunger.

Rupert Giles: Spike’s watcher and owner of ‘The Third Realm’, one of three local magick shops

Willow Rosenberg: Wiccan who came to England from America to study more advanced magicks under Rupert’s tuition and to attend the glamorous ‘Mid Kent College’

Alexander ‘Xander’ Lavelle Harris: Willow’s boyfriend (and best friend) who came along for a free holiday and ended up staying longer than he bargained for

Tara McClay: Powerful Wiccan (more powerful than Willow) whose circle cursed Buffy. Attends MKC.

Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins (pka ‘Anyanka, Patron Saint of Scorned Women’): After an unfortunate encounter with the Slayer, Anyanka was stripped of her powers and made human. Now she works with William and helps run ‘The Third Realm’

That’s all you really need to know, so without any further ado…

CURTAIN UP

ACT 1

Oh, and -*-*-*- indicates a change in scene.

Spike walked into the crypt with a determined look on his face. ‘Buffy.’ It was more of a ‘come-out-here-now’ voice than an ‘are-you-here’ voice, and it was the one he always used when he was in a bad mood. And, at that moment, bad mood was probably an understatement of the most extreme variety. ‘I know you’re here.’

A small blond figure stepped out from the darkness. ‘What now?’ she asked, leaning back casually against one of the stone pillars and taking a slow puff of her cigarette.

‘You know why I’m here, pet.’

‘No, I really don’t. How ‘bout you enlighten me?’

‘I have half a mind to.’ Before she could blink, he was holding her up against that same pillar by her neck, a sharp wooden stake pointed at her heart.

‘Hey, shouldn’t you be off with that ho’ of yours right now? What was her name, Rat-Girl?’

‘Her name is Raquel, and you’d do well to remember it,’ he growled, not letting his grip loosen. She had a point, though, he realised. Raquel’s looks and movements were reminiscent of those of a rat.

‘Raquel. I wonder who came up with that name. I mean, Rachel’s bad enough, but shove a ’q’ in the middle? That just isn’t English.’

‘And you, being a purebred Californian dumb-blond, know exactly what about English? Besides, with a name like Buffy, you’re a one to talk.’

‘At least my name means something.’

‘Oh yeah, ‘as strong as a buffalo’. Doesn’t look like it to me.’

She snarled and, using the pillar for support, kicked her legs up to hit him in the chest. While he was still reeling, she moved in and hit him in the jaw. ‘Want me to tell you what your name means?’ She didn’t wait for an answer. ‘ ‘Skanky English Slayer with no common sense and even less fashion sense.’ And that dumb-blond comment’s rich coming from you, Mr. A-bottle-of-bleach-a-day-keeps-the-good-looks-away.’

He flipped himself back up and his foot connected with her chin. She stepped back and he moved closer. They stood facing each other for a minute, their eyes meeting. Before she could think, Buffy had leant up and crushed her lips to his. She wasn’t thinking of the consequences, she just knew that she wanted him. Now.

Much to her surprise, he responded just as passionately, pulling her close to him and leaving one hand possessively circling her waist while the other moved up to run through her hair.

‘Spike,’ Buffy moaned, running her hands up the back of his shirt, her cold skin burning as she pressed against him. ‘Love you.’

He pulled back and looked at her, and she whimpered slightly at the loss of his touch. ‘Love you too,’ he replied softly before returning to her arms…

-*-*-*-

And Buffy snapped awake. She looked around to see everything was as she remembered it – the lamp beside her bed, the thin blanket she used to cover herself, not that she needed it, it was just…a comfort. She stood up, flinching as her bare feet hit the hard floor. She walked over to the fridge and absently removed a small pot of pig’s blood from it. She sat back down on the edge of the bed and sipped at it slowly, trying to find an explanation for the strange dream she’d just had. It couldn’t be that she, the notorious vampire ringleader known as ‘B’, was in love with the Slayer. It couldn’t be…could it?

ACT 2

Two weeks after Buffy’s revelation, Spike was walking along his normal patrol route with his girlfriend, Raquel. It had been a slow night, although it seemed clichéd, and they were getting no closer to tracking down whoever – or whatever – had come up with the latest not-so-ingenious scheme to kill the Slayer.

‘It doesn’t look like we’re gonna find anything,’ complained Raquel, who was beginning to lag behind. She, having been trained as a prospective Slayer herself, was slightly stronger than most normal people, but no match for the man himself.

‘Ssh!’ he hissed, gesturing towards a nearby mausoleum, where a group of demons were gathered.

‘So we kill the Slayer?’

‘Yeah, but when?’

‘Try never.’ Raquel boldly stepped out from behind her cover of trees and Spike winced. She never had been one for subtlety.

‘Look, it’s the Slayer’s sidekick.’ The demon emphasised this with a sidekick from one of his large front hooves, which contacted with her ribs. A sharp crack cut through the silence.

‘Don’t touch her!’ Spike leapt out and dispatched the demon almost instantly, running over to Raquel’s still form and helping her up. ‘Love? Are you okay?’

‘I’m good. What now?’

Spike glanced back at the spot where the demons had been. ‘I think they’ve gone.’

‘I’m hurt,’ she pouted, looking up at him. ‘Wanna kiss it better?’

Spike could think of better things to do. Beating up Buffy for one thing. He was sick of her always being around, always ruining his plans. Even if she wasn’t here now, she was around. Somewhere. Probably. But for now, his girl was hurt, and she was his priority.

-*-*-*-

Buffy stood by a large tombstone and watched as Spike helped Rat-Girl out of the cemetery, panting unnecessarily with the sheer adrenalin of the fight. She threw the sword she’d been holding to the ground and looked down at herself. She was covered in demon-goo now. She frowned. ‘And he didn’t even say thank you,’ she murmured, heading back to her crypt to change.

ACT 3

Spike was in a cemetery. It wasn’t one he’d ever seen before, and he knew the Slayer’s tour of Chatham handbook off by heart. He hesitantly followed a little ball of light in front of him, and, when he saw the key to a door across the road from him floating in the air he realised he was dreaming. His dream self – and possibly his real self, too – cursed loudly. He knew by now what his dreams usually meant, and the second apocalypse in two weeks was just not what he wanted right now.

He followed through the door and saw a figure lying huddled on a small rug, a pool of blood around him. Her. Whoever. Stepping closer, he identified it to be a girl. Fear took him over when he didn’t hear a heartbeat, but he soon noticed that it was a vampire. Now he was confused. A vampire being tortured wasn’t bad, was it?

Straining his ears, he could hear the person letting out a small whimper, ‘Spike, no, please.’

The voice sounded familiar, definitely feminine. He moved forward but stopped in his tracks when he saw someone walking in carrying a large cross and various bottles of what could only be holy water.

‘Had enough yet?’ he snarled, and Spike’s heart stopped when he realised that it was himself.

‘Just let me—’

‘No!’ He poured a torrent of holy water onto her body and she curled up even tighter.

‘Spike, please!’ Her body was convulsing with tears but he was remorseless, torturing her until she was at the brink of a second death and then stopping. It was only when he left that the dream Spike dared to walk forward to investigate.

‘Buffy?’ he whispered, looking at the torn face of his ‘victim’. He could still tell it was she; he always could.

‘Just kill me, please.’ She continued to moan and, although most of it was completely incoherent, he could mostly make out those few words over again: ‘Spike, please, no, just stop, kill me, let me die, no more torture’. And all his dream self could do was walk out, remorseless, wondering how he could punish her for this one.

ACT 4

Spike walked into the crypt with a determined look on his face. ‘Buffy.’ It was more of a ‘come-out-here-now’ voice than an ‘are-you-here’ voice, and it was the one he always used when he was in a bad mood. And at that moment, bad mood was probably an understatement of the most extreme variety. ‘I know you’re here.’

From her spot in the shadows, Buffy choked on the cigarette she had in her mouth as she heard the familiar words. ‘What now?’ she asked, remembering the line from her dream.

‘You know why I’m here, pet.’

At this she almost fell over and had to lean against the nearest pillar for support. She wasn’t dreaming again, was she? He was wearing the same outfit he’d been wearing that night, and the way it was going…she decided to play along and hope that it turned out as the dream itself had.

With a smile on her face, she stepped forward. ‘No, I really don’t. How ‘bout you enlighten me?’

‘I have half a mind to.’ Then, as before, her slammed her against the pillar and put a stake to her heart.

‘Hey, shouldn’t you be off with that ho’ of yours right now? What was her name, Rat-Girl?’ Buffy was enjoying this now. She was almost laughing at the familiar angry look on his face as she continued to play her role.

‘Her name is Raquel, and you’d do well to remember it,’ he growled.

‘Raquel. I wonder who came up with that name. I mean, Rachel’s bad enough, but shove a ’q’ in the middle? That just isn’t English.’ God, she was glad that dream had been so vivid. If she forgot any of her ‘lines’, there was a chance that the final scene wouldn’t take place, and she wasn’t willing to take that risk. Not now.

‘And you, being a purebred Californian dumb-blond, know exactly what about English? Besides, with a name like Buffy, you’re a one to talk.’

‘At least my name means something.’

‘Oh yeah, ‘as strong as a buffalo’. Doesn’t look like it to me.’

She snarled and, as before, kicked him in the chest and hit him in the jaw. ‘Want me to tell you what your name means? ‘Skanky English Slayer with no common sense and even less fashion sense.’ And that dumb-blond comment’s rich coming from you, Mr. A-bottle-of-bleach-a-day-keeps-the-good-looks-away.’

This time, Buffy did allow herself to laugh, even as he kicked her in the jaw. She stepped back and he followed after her, an exact replay of before. They stood facing each other for a minute, their eyes meeting. It was the moment of truth. Breathing unnecessarily, Buffy leant up and kissed him, hoping beyond hope that it would be like before.

And she wasn’t disappointed. He responded hungrily, pulling her close to him and running a hand through her hair.

‘Spike,’ she moaned, pressing her body against him. The words came out of her mouth before she realised: ‘Love you.’

He pulled away as he had before, but this time, instead of love reflecting in his eyes, there was shock.

‘Oh fuck,’ he cursed before turning and running out of the crypt, leaving Buffy standing back against the pillar, tears threatening to fall as she looked at the space where the Slayer she loved had been standing a minute before.

‘Oh my God,’ she breathed finally, her mind functioning properly for the first time since the kiss. ‘He’s an even better kisser in real life.’

ACT 5

For the next week, Spike avoided Buffy like the plague, deliberately patrolling everywhere but the Maidstone Road cemetery where she lived.

‘I still think that you’re being stupid,’ commented Raquel as they continued their walk to Boundary Road. ‘I mean, I know you don’t like her, but is that any reason to avoid her like this?’

‘Yes,’ he growled. ‘Now can you please let me do my job?’

‘Okay, okay. But I’m pretty strong too, and I can help you.’

‘I meant shut up, you stupid bint!’

Raquel stepped backwards, shocked.

‘Look, I’m sorry, okay? Just…maybe you should go.’

‘Fine, I’m gone,’ she replied, turning and running down the hill.

Spike wandered aimlessly around the cemetery for a bit, but his mind was elsewhere, so when the vampire came at him, despite his Slayer sense, he didn’t know until it was on top of him. Finally he dusted the vampire, but the pain from his wounds soon overcame him, and he succumbed to unconsciousness.

-*-*-*-

Halfway down the hill, Raquel stopped. She knew what Spike was like in those moods, but she couldn’t help but want to go back and apologise. When she reached the edge of the cemetery, however, she saw a shadowed figure carrying someone. It was the hair that gave it away: Spike. Some evil thing was kidnapping Spike!

Turning, she decided to go to the only people who could help her. She just hoped they wouldn’t be too late.

ACT 6

When Spike woke up, the first thing he knew was the smell. Wherever he was, it smelt dusty and musty. It smelt…old. It also seemed to be underground. A crypt, maybe?

‘And he’s up.’ He knew that voice.

‘Buffy? What the hell are you doing here?’

‘I live here, remember? Actually you wouldn’t seeing as you’ve just been unconscious for God knows how long.’

‘What the hell am I doing here?’

‘Geez, a little gratitude, maybe? I saved you.’

‘From what? Sanity?’

Buffy rolled her eyes. ‘Not quite. You got into a fight, remember? Well, I came along part way through, decided to watch. Figured you could handle it. Then you killed the vamp and just…lay there. So I went over and you were just unconscious. Pretty badly hurt, too. So I picked you up, brought you here and fixed you up.’

Looking down at himself, Spike could see that his wounds had all been cleaned and bandaged. ‘Yeah, thanks.’

‘My pleasure. Really. Slayer blood never tasted so good.’

‘What?!’

She laughed at the look on his face. ‘I was kidding! Lighten up.’

‘Don’t even joke about it,’ he said seriously, and she could tell he meant it.

‘Fine, take away all my fun. Here, have some water.’ He gave her a look. ‘Fresh from the Evian bottle,’ she said, showing him.

He relaxed and drank it while Buffy watched.

‘Look, Buffy. There’s something I want to ask you,’ he said once he’d finished.

‘No, I won’t marry you. I know it’ll break your heart, but I’m not ready for that commitment. And what about Raquel?’

‘Buffy, I’m not proposing to you, as much as you want me to.’ She scowled at him and he laughed. ‘I just want you to tell me about your past. You know, the Slayers you killed, stuff like that.’

‘Why?’

‘I’ve gotta have a reason now?’

‘This is a death thing, isn’t it? You could’ve died tonight and you wanna know about how the other Slayers went.’

‘Okay, you’ve got me. Now tell.’

‘Fine, I’ll start at the beginning.’

-*-*-*-

When Raquel arrived at the shop, Giles and Anya were discussing plans for the upcoming sale by the counter and Tara was leafing through a thick book, apparently in Latin.

‘We’ve got trouble,’ she said instantly. ‘Where’re Willow and Xander?’

‘They went out on a date,’ said Anya conspiratorially. ‘They should be back right about…’ She glanced at her watch, ‘Now.’

At that, the couple walked into the shop, hand in hand.

‘The movie was great,’ said Willow enthusiastically. ‘I bet Spike would love it.’

‘He probably would. Hey, Kell, what’re you doing here? Thought you’d be patrolling about now?’

‘I was. Look, Spike went off alone, and when I followed, he was being carried off by someone. Or something.’

‘Why did he go off alone in the first place?’ asked Giles angrily. ‘I know he’s the Slayer, but there has been a lot of demonic activity recently and I think that for his own good, he should always have someone accompanying him.’

‘I was, but we…we fought and he told me to leave so I did, and then…it’s all my fault.’

‘Oh, sweetie, it’s not your fault. If this…thing could overpower the Slayer, it would’ve probably taken you, too, and no one would’ve been able to tell us. Then where would we be?’ said Tara softly.

Giles gave her a grateful glance. Tara was always the peacemaker, and always managed to calm everyone down, even in the most dangerous situations. He honestly didn’t know what the gang would do without her.

‘Well, it may be a bit late to look now, and any vampires would be easier targets during the day. We’ll meet here first thing in the morning, and discuss what is to be done.’

‘I’ve got class,’ said Willow tentatively, ‘But I’ll be here as soon as I can.’

‘Okay, well, I think the best thing to do now is go home and get some sleep, and tomorrow we’ll figure out how to save Spike from this…thing, as you put it,’ said Giles, and everyone obeyed instantly.

-*-*-*-

‘I was sired in the 20’s, ‘22 I think. I lived in LA, and the only thing that any of us thought about was being ‘discovered’. Everyone was big on movies, Hollywood was taking off, and, as I was 20, and quite pretty, it was my dream that some bigshot director would spot me.’

The girl sat on the front step of the building and looked around. It was a beautiful day, and the sun was shining down on her, catching her hair so that it appeared to glow gold as it flowed down her back, curling softly at the bottom. Her eyes were green and sparkly, and the short dress she wore accented her figure perfectly. She knew that the famous director Joseph Peck was said to be coming to town, and he apparently particularly like young, blonde girls. She was so innocent that she didn’t think of the implications of this; she just thought that it could be her big chance for stardom.

‘So when a guy came along saying he was a representative of Mr Peck, I gave him my details and said to call me. Drink?’ Buffy pulled out a bottle of whisky and took a swig before pouring a glass out for Spike.

He downed it impatiently and looked back at her. ‘So?’

The building where she was to meet the director was tall and forbidding, dominating the area around. It was tall and made of heavy stone, with carved gargoyles around the wall above the third storey windows. She hadn’t thought there were any places like this around town, but she was informed that it was the set of a new movie they were filming, and took it without question.

Raising her hand to knock, she was suddenly taken over by nerves. What if she wasn’t pretty enough? What if her outfit wasn’t right? As she stood there, the door was suddenly opened before her by an invisible force, but again, she thought nothing of it, and stepped inside, following a trail of candles to a dimly lit room, where a man was sitting.

‘Uh, excuse me, I’m here to see Mr Peck?’

‘That would be me,’ he said in a clearly English voice. ‘And you are Miss Summers?’

‘Y…Yeah,’ she said in a small voice.

‘My, you are beautiful,’ he continued, looking appreciatively down her body.

‘I…I wasn’t sure if my outfit was right,’ she said shyly, risking a glance at him through her lashes.

‘He was beautiful,’ said Buffy, pouring herself and Spike another glass of whisky. ‘Wouldn’t normally say that about a guy, but he was. Perfectly sculpted body, and he had the whole predatorial grace thing going on. Tall, dark and handsome and why are you looking at me like that?’

‘Like what?’ asked Spike, trying not to show that it had just struck him how beautiful she was in the candlelight. It was probably the drink talking but he actually felt jealous of this Peck guy she was on about. ‘Continue. And pour me out another one, would you, pet?’

Doing so, she resumed her story. ‘So, then I made the mistake of looking him in the eye, and I found out what vampire thrall really is.’

As she caught his gaze, everything around seemed to fade into oblivion. She was moving as if being lifted by invisible hands until she was standing in front of him.

‘Give yourself to me,’ she heard through the haze, as if the words were being whispered directly to her mind. Knowing exactly what he meant, she tilted her head to the side, baring her neck for him, moving as close as she could get, closing her eyes, waiting for the sensation.

‘And then he bit me,’ she finished. ‘It was pleasure and pain all rolled into one, everything you’d hope to feel, yet nothing at all. It’s the single best feeling in the world, I can’t even begin to describe it.’

‘So don’t,’ said Spike, beginning to get annoyed. ‘Get to the point!’

‘Well, he bit me, I drank some of his blood, I became a vampire. Happy?’

‘Very,’ he snapped, downing another glass.

She was walking back to their home on the night of the full moon when she felt it. It was a cry for help, borne by blood, not aloud.

She could feel it as strongly as she’d felt the bite all those months ago – her sire was in trouble.

Running to the source of the pain, she watched from her spot behind a wall as her sire, her lover, her teacher, her father turned to dust.

When it cleared, there was a girl standing there, holding a small wooden stake.

Snarling, Buffy withdrew into the shadows. Tomorrow night, she would get her revenge.

‘So the next night I crept up behind her and snapped her neck, simple as that. Voila, no more Slayer. So then it became a thing of mine. It wasn’t just Slayers. Anyone, human, demon, alien, which harmed any of my ‘family’ died. Without Joseph, I was the head of the family, and I was protective of my childer. There were a lot of them, so a lot of people got killed,’ she shrugged. ‘I got my name cause one of them, spunky little Boston girl called Faith, used to call me that. It kinda stuck, especially after I killed this biker chick from Faith’s ‘gang’ who tried to attack the girl.’

The sharing of stories continued into the night, and so did the sharing of drinks.

‘So then,’ Buffy choked out between hysteric giggles, ‘she just goes ‘Who the hell are you?’ I’ve been in the news for months as this serial killer, and she doesn’t know me even though I’ve got a knife to her throat!’

They laughed together for a few minutes, before Spike suddenly got more serious. ‘You’ve done so much.’

‘You too. I mean, the first male Slayer ever, and the Slayer that’s lasted the longest. Maybe all that sexist crap has some truth in it.’

‘Always thought so, meself.’

‘But anyway, I’ve lived a century next week. What do you expect?’

‘You’re a hundred next week?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Maybe you should have a party.’

‘Don’t have any friends to invite,’ she admitted.

‘You can have mine,’ he offered with a grin.

‘Xander and Rat-girl? No thanks.’

‘Fine, well, maybe it could be just us?’

‘Maybe,’ she replied, leaning forward and claiming his lips in a hot, searing kiss.

ACT 7

When Spike woke up, he realised three things. Firstly, he wasn’t at home. Secondly, he was naked. And thirdly, there was someone equally naked lying beside him, spooned against his chest.

Rubbing his eyes, he saw who it was.

‘Oh…bloody hell.’ He got up and pulled on his clothes hurriedly; trying to ignore the vampire who was lying on the bed, sound asleep.

Just as he reached the ladder, however, he heard her stirring. Cursing quietly under his breath, he waited to see whether or not she was waking up. To his intense disappointment, she was. ‘Good morning, sleepyhead,’ he said angrily.

‘Mornin’, Spike,’ she replied, stretching languidly. ‘Spike?!’

‘Yeah, ‘s me.’

‘Why are you…Oh.’

‘Exactly. Do you know what we did last night?’

‘Well, judging by…everything, I’d say at some point we had sex,’ she offered, smiling slightly.

‘Yeah, I got that part. But it was a stupid mistake.’

‘A stupid, drunken mistake. Right.’

‘And it will, under no circumstances, happen again. Ever.’

‘Right,’ she said.

‘Cuz I don’t want you. I have a girlfriend. I don’t want you.’

‘Right,’ she said again, sadly.

‘So, I’ll be going, then.’ He waited a minute, not moving, before starting his rant again. ‘This is all your fault, y’know? You, with your stupid body and your stupid hair! It’s all your fault for being so beautiful!’

‘You think I’m beautiful?’ she asked softly.

‘I have eyes, don’t I?’ he snapped. ‘And go put some clothes on!’

She did as he asked and came back to sit on the bed beside him.

‘I can’t do this,’ Spike said quietly, almost as if he was trying to convince himself. ‘I have a girlfriend. I care about her.’

‘You don’t love her.’

‘What?’

‘I said you don’t love her. You care about her, but you’re not in love with her. I can see it.’

‘It doesn’t matter. I can’t just say, ‘Hey, Kelly, sorry, I’m dumping you cuz I don’t love you, I love my mortal enemy instead.’ That’s real nice.’

‘You love me?’

‘I was giving an example! Look, can you just…go away?’

‘Hey, this is my crypt! You leave!’

‘Fine, I will!’ he said, climbing back up the ladder…and bumping straight into Xander. ‘Hey, mate. What’re you doin’ here?’

‘I came to ask Buffy if she’d seen you. But obviously there’s no point now. What are you doing here?’

‘Got a bit beaten up last night. Buffy brought me back here and fixed me up.’

‘So you stayed until now?’ asked Xander sceptically.

‘Hey, I got a stake through my abdomen, okay? Even with Slayer healing a wound like that doesn’t just disappear.’

‘That must’ve hurt.’

‘Of course it hurt.’

‘Hey, remember me? Owner of the crypt? Can you guys continue your male bonding session elsewhere? Some of us are trying to sleep.’

‘We’re gone,’ said Xander, turning to the door. ‘Coming?’

‘Yeah, just a sec.’ Lowering his voice, Spike looked at Buffy. ‘Thanks. I mean it.’

‘My pleasure. Slayer blood never tasted so good,’ she said with a smirk.

He glared at her and then turned to go, leaving one very confused vampire behind him.

ACT 8

‘Look, Kell, it was fun while it lasted, but it’s over. No, I can’t say that. Kelly, I’m sorry, but I’ve met someone else, so I think you should too. No, that’s completely stupid!’

Spike was standing in front of the mirror, practising the speech he was going to give Raquel. Ever since that night with Buffy, he’d been thinking about his life. In particular the romantic side of it. Although he had a girlfriend, the blonde vampiress had plagued his thoughts, both waking and sleeping, since then, and now there was no doubt that he had somehow fallen in love with her. The hard part now was telling Kelly that it was over. Sighing, he turned back to the mirror.

‘Kelly, I’ve gotta tell you something. I was talking to someone last week, a…friend, and it made me think about my feelings for you and for other people. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, and I’ve realised that I’m not in love with you. I care about you, but I don’t love you, and I think you deserve someone who does, so I think we should see other people.’

‘I like it, but isn’t it kind of long? You probably wouldn’t remember it. I guess you could get those little cue card things. But I know what would be better: ‘Hey, Kell, sod off! I don’t wanna see you anymore cuz I’m in love with someone more bloody beautiful than you. I think you know her, she goes by the name of Buffy Summers.’ Or you could use the previous example: ‘Hey, Kelly, sorry, I’m dumping you cuz I don’t love you, I love my mortal enemy instead.’’

Sighing again, Spike turned to the window. Also, since then, he’d been trying to avoid Buffy again. Obviously that had failed. ‘And you, ‘bloody beautiful one’, are also the most modest person I know. With the worst English accent.’

‘I try,’ she smiled, climbing in and perching on the edge of the bed. ‘So, gonna break it off with Ratty tonight?’

‘Not that it’s any of your business, but yeah.’

‘Of course it’s my business. So, have you told any of your friends about…’

‘No. How bloody stupid do you think I am? You’re a vampire and I’m a Slayer. It’s as simple as that.’

‘It’s happened before,’ she argued. ‘I’ve seen it a coupla times. Okay, so mostly the humans end up getting turned, but still…’

‘If you’re trying to convince me, you’re doing a lousy job of it.’

‘I said mostly. And I wouldn’t. I couldn’t,’ she admitted softly.

‘Good. Now can you go away? Kelly’s coming over.’

‘For your last date? I wouldn’t miss it.’

‘Yes, you will. I don’t want you there to mess it up.’

‘Would I do that? Anyway, someone needs to comfort you after the tragic breakup.’

‘That’s not a bad idea. Actually, you know what I do when I’m stressed or upset?’ he asked, leaning in closer to her.

‘What?’

Coming even closer, so she could feel his breath on her cheek, Spike answered her. ‘I kill something. Feel like being the special girl?’

‘I would be honoured to die at your hand,’ she said with mock seriousness, moving back and increasing the gap between them.

Just then the doorbell rang. ‘Guess it’s time for you to go do your thing,’ said Buffy. ‘And remember, every step you take, every move you make, I’ll be watching you.’

‘You are not coming to watch this.’

‘Oh, come on! The most entertaining thing that I’m probably ever gonna see in this town, and I can’t go? That’s just not fair.’

‘No means bloody no,’ he snapped, his voice telling her that the case was closed.

Buffy smiled as the door closed behind him. This was gonna be so much fun.

-*-*-*-

‘This is bad, this is very, very bad.’ Xander was pacing the shop impatiently. ‘We’ve gotta get Spike down here.’

‘We can’t, remember? He’s out with Raquel, and he specifically said not to call him,’ said Willow from her seat at the group’s table.

‘Well, I’m afraid we might have to,’ Giles interjected. ‘I’ve just read a bit more about this demon. It has the ability to infect its victims with a deadly poison if anyone touches it, and that includes indirect contact, for example through a weapon. And the poison is also potentially lethal to vampires and other demons, putting them into a comatose state if they are infected with a large enough amount. If the demon is slain, however, its poison, even in those already near death, is weakened, meaning there is a good chance of survival for all those infected.’

‘So we shoot it. No harm, no foul.’

‘It’s not that easy,’ said Anya, walking in from the back room brandishing a duster. ‘You can only kill it through indirect contact. It’s kind of an insurance. These things normally work for another demon, and they like to be able to claim at least one kill.’

‘And once again, Anya is a step ahead of any books I may possess.’

‘I’ve been around.’

‘And again I say that we should call Spike. Maybe a Slayer could kill it and withstand the poison?’

‘Yes, I’m afraid that’s our only option. Spike and Raquel will just have to withhold their passion until after the demon has been killed.’

-*-*-*-

Spike and Raquel were walking along by the river when suddenly he stopped.

‘Spike? What is it?’

‘Kelly, there’s something I’ve gotta tell you.’

‘Go ahead.’

‘Look, over the past few days I’ve been thinking—‘ He was cut off by his mobile phone suddenly ringing. ‘What is it? I said not to call me tonight! Fine, what’s the bad news? Okay, we’ll be right there.’ He ended the call and turned to Raquel. ‘We’ve got trouble. Poisonous demon, I’ll tell you on the way.’

Partway down the road, he stopped again. ‘Look, I can sense vampires. Come out already, I’ve got places to be and I can’t be bothered to wait.’

Buffy stepped out from behind a tree, lit cigarette in hand. She dropped it and put it out before putting her hands up in mock surrender. ‘Okay, you caught me. God, is that how you talk to all the girls?’

‘Oh, great. My night is now complete. Do me a favour and crawl back to your crypt, love, I’ve got a demon to slay.’

‘Sounds good. Mind if I tag along? I haven’t had a good fight in ages.’

‘If you must.’

‘So, what’re we facing?’

Spike relayed the information Giles had told him as they walked, trying to ignore the fact that Buffy and Raquel were sending each other vicious looks behind his back.

-*-*-*-

The rest of the gang were standing at the edge of the cemetery staring at the demon when the trio arrived. It was about eight feet tall, and was a dirty blue, covered in large lumps and boils, which oozed a yellowish pus. It had two horns on its head, and one large eye on its forehead, as well as a multitude of blue, oozing tentacles.

‘That’s our demon?’ asked Spike as he jogged up to his Watcher. ‘Ugly fella, isn’t he?’

‘Duh much?’ asked Buffy, picking a sword out of the bag and testing its weight.

‘You brought Buffy?’

‘Brought isn’t exactly the right word,’ said Spike, hefting an axe. ‘So, how do we kill this thing?’

‘Metal through the heart,’ supplied Anya.

‘Mnemek, right?’ said Buffy, swinging her sword. ‘Pretty routine.’

‘Routine? This is an extremely dangerous demon.’

‘Yeah, yeah. Seen ‘em before. Never that big, but still. The poison wears off after about a half hour if you’re lucky, as long as you kill it with the first contact. Should be about the same for a Slayer.’ She glanced round at the gang who were staring at her disbelievingly. ‘Dunno about you lot, though. Maybe you should stay back, offer support. You know, like cheerleaders or something?’

Giles was the first to recover from her outburst. ‘R-right. Well, you two go ahead, then.’

As Buffy strode confidently towards the cemetery, Spike turned to them. ‘Wish us luck.’

‘Good luck!’ said Tara quietly, watching as he set off after the vampire. There was something between them, she could tell. Their auras seemed different, more in tune somehow. She frowned slightly before picking up a small dagger and following the rest of the gang to their spot behind a tree about fifty metres from the fight.

Spike was on the demon’s left, Buffy on the right, and they were taking turns in coming forward to try and reach the demon’s heart.

The group watched intently as the pair dodged its flailing tentacles and the drops of pus which fell from its body.

Suddenly, Spike stepped forward. His shot was on target, but he didn’t notice one of the demon’s tentacles coming towards him on the right. As if in slow motion, Buffy leapt forward, cutting off the tentacle and embedding the blade deep inside the creature’s heart in one smooth movement before falling to the ground, unconscious.

The demon dissolved into a pile of pus before melting away completely, but the Slayer didn’t notice. He remained rooted to the spot, staring down at Buffy, his brain trying to register exactly what had just happened.

‘Buffy?’ he asked softly. ‘Buffy, you can get up now, love. It’s over. You killed it.’

When she didn’t move, a lone tear rolled down his cheek. ‘Buffy?’

The gang rushed out when they saw the demon dissolve, but then stopped when they saw Spike fall to his knees beside Buffy’s body.

‘Come on, this isn’t funny. I was meant to kill you. You promised, remember? Poison doesn’t kill vampires! Now wake up so I can stake you already.’ By now tears were flowing freely. He grabbed the body and shook it hard. ‘Come on, you stupid vampire! I told you to wake up!’ He then pulled her close, cradling her in his arms. Laying a hand on her forehead, he could feel that she was burning up. ‘Buffy, I love you,’ he whispered, kissing her lips softly. ‘I love you, you hear me! Now wake up! Come on, you’ve got to wake up!’

It continued like this for ten more minutes before Giles walked over to the Slayer. ‘Spike, we should take her to the shop. Maybe we could do something for her.’

Spike nodded numbly, standing up and picking the vampire up gently. As the group walked back towards Giles’ car, Tara dropped back to talk to Spike.

‘You’re in love with her, aren’t you?’ she asked softly, brushing a hand over Buffy’s brow to judge her temperature.

‘Yeah,’ he admitted, not looking up from the body in his arms.

‘I’ll try what I can to help her. I don’t know if I can fight this powerful a poison, but I’m going to get Willow to help. And you might want to talk to Raquel.’

‘Oh, bugger.’

‘Exactly,’ she whispered, walking with him in silence until they reached the car.

ACT 9

Buffy’s body was lying on the table in The Third Realm, and, after 40 minutes, she showed no signs of waking. Spike was sitting beside her, never letting go of her hand, occasionally reaching over to touch her cheek or to brush stray hairs off her face. Raquel was sitting with Anya, Willow and Xander by the counter, refusing to look at him, and Tara and Giles were having a hushed conversation by the back entrance.

‘Okay,’ said the blonde witch, directing her speech mainly towards Spike. ‘I-I don’t think that at this advanced stage, it’s possible to ever get her back, but there’s one more spell that I could try…’

Reaching over, she took two bags of herbs from the shelf, and mixed them, grinding up a rose petal before adding that to the mixture as well. ‘Okay, here goes.’ She sprinkled the herbs around Buffy, scattering some on her sword-arm before looking at her face. ‘spiritus sum…’ She touched a full sized rose petal to her own forehead. ‘…spiritum habeo…’ She touched another full petal to her own heart. ‘…spirito tibi do…’ she took one of the petals and placed them gently in Buffy’s hands. ‘…te excito!’ She blew a handful of herbs onto Buffy’s face and threw the remaining ones and the remaining petal into a candle flame. For a moment, nothing happened, but then the flame suddenly went out. Smoke poured from it into Tara, and then flowed from her outstretched hands into Buffy’s, and then from the rose petal into her body, finishing with the contact-arm.

When the smoke cleared, she was awake, looking around groggily.

‘What the hell am I doing here?’

‘You killed the demon, and then you got poisoned and nearly died. Again,’ said Anya cheerfully. ‘But you’re fine now, so it’s all okay, right?’

‘I still don’t see why we didn’t stake her in her sleep,’ said Xander, giving Buffy a dirty look. ‘She’s a vampire, whether she saved your life or not.’

‘I saved your life? Again? I should start getting paid.’

‘You wish,’ said Spike, looking round at his friends. ‘Look, I need some time to talk to Buffy alone, okay?’

‘No, not okay!’ said Raquel, speaking for the first time. ‘What is going on between you two?’

‘Kelly, I think they need some time alone to just…figure that out,’ said Willow.

‘Since none of you look like leaving,’ he continued, leading Buffy out into the back room.

She perched on a table and he remained standing.

‘Spike, I—’

‘Buffy, I love you,’ he said quickly, interrupting her.

‘Wow. Sudden.’

‘Actually I’ve been telling you over and over for the past forty minutes. You just weren’t very responsive.’

‘Okay, Spike loves me,’ she muttered. ‘Don’t think I’m dreaming, so what am I meant to do now?’

Spike smiled at her monologue. ‘I’ve got Slayer hearing, love.’

‘Oh, yeah. Forgot. So…what now?’

‘I think I know,’ he said quietly, leaning over and kissing her tenderly.

As they got lost in their embrace, the world around them faded. The life of a vampire Slayer was always short, and a relationship with a soulless demon wouldn’t be a smooth ride, but that was forgotten. Raquel was probably ready to tear both their throats out, and the rest of the gang, with the exception of Tara, wouldn’t exactly be over the moon at the prospect, but that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the fact that they were together, in each other’s arms at last, and they knew that together, they would get through it.

And that was all that mattered.

CURTAIN