Might Have Been

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"It's blinking," Giles told them in surprise as he peered at the chip lodged in Spike's back.

"I don't care if it's playing Rocking the Casbah on the bloody jew's-harp just get it out of me."

"Baby," Dawn muttered with a roll of her eyes. Spike growled at her.

"Dawn…"

"Anya there's a bottle of Cognac in the cupboard by the sink. Can you get it for me?"

"What? Are you gonna get snockered now?" Spike complained as Anya hurried to find Giles' Cognac.

"Spike, shut up."

"Dawn…!"

"It's not for me you prat. If I'm going to operate, I need you anaesthetised. This'll take some time."

"We don't have any," Xander interrupted. "That blinking thing? My pseudo-soldier memory bank tells me that's a tracer."

"A what?"

"A what?"

"A what?"

"It's like a homing beacon. And if commando guys are reading the signal, they're coming home."

"Well we need to buy some time. It's in deep and I'm no surgeon."

"But they could be coming here right now," Dawn pointed out, slightly panicked. "Get it out of him."

"Dawn…"

"Will you stop? We're trying to take care of you. You think any of us want you dead?"

"Well…"

"Shut up Xander!"

"Calm down sweet-bit."

"Willow," Giles suggested. "I'll try calling her. She may be able to help."

"Why? Does she have more surgical experience than you?"

"Not now An."

"She may be able to help magically."

"You really do hate me don't you? Letting that witchy redhead loose on me. Bastards."

"Spike."

"God, you sound more and more like your sister every day. Do you practice in the mirror?"

"I'll take that as a complement seeing as how you're totally in love with her."

"Dawnie please. I just ate."

"Piss off Harris."

"Honey, I could do with another of those chocolate bars."

"And I could do with another bottle of Cognac."

"You haven't finished that one."

"One isn't going to be anywhere near enough nibblet."

"Willow's on her way," Giles informed them, replacing the phone.

"Great."

Dawn's hands flew to her hips, imitating her sister, and she frowned at her friend. "You could at least try to sound grateful."

"I could…"

"Spike!"

"Knock it off Dawn."

"Bite me, William."

"Could someone please explain how exactly I got landed with you?"

"Just lucky I guess."

"When did we decide that homicidal maniacs made good friends for thirteen year olds? No offence Spike."

"Piss. Off. Harris."

"We didn't decide anything. It's none of your business who I'm friends with."

"Does Buffy know how much time you spend with him?"

"Can we leave the Slayer out of this for once?"

"It's none of Buffy's business either!"

"Of course it is," Xander argued.

"Why?"

"Anya? Any other alcohol would be welcomed."

"On it."

"She's your sister."

"So?"

"Let it go 'bit."

"Is brandy ok?"

"You're an angel."

Xander snorted. "Oh please."

"You've never called me an angel."

"Spike? Are you ok?"

"I will be sweetheart. Don't worry about it."

"I worry about you."

"Yeah well, you said it yourself. I'm just lucky I guess."

"I love you."

"What?"

"You heard."

"Did anyone else?"

"Nope."

"I love you too nibblet."

"Doorbell."

"Thank you Anya. Any chance that you might answer it?"

"It's your house."

"I surrender. Lord save me from harmless demons."

"Hey!"

"Hey!"

"Hi Giles, hi guys. Spike you don't look so good. What was the problem again?"

Might Have Been: Goodbye Iowa