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Head to Head |
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Title: Head to Head
Author: Keren and Meredith E-mail: avssp@hotmail.com Rating: PG-13 Pairings: B/S (just be patient) Distribution: Sure, just let us know. Spoilers: Takes place in an alternate Buffyverse which diverges after Crush. Anything that occurred later on the show doesnt exist. Events in the previously on BtVS montage are taken from our earlier stories in this timeline, All of You and Once Upon A Time. Disclaimer: These characters arent ours. We just like to play with them. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, WB, and any other copyright holders. Medeco is a registered trademark of Medeco Security Locks, Inc. Disney is a registered trademark of The Walt Disney Company. Corn Pops is a registered trademark of Kellogg Company. Ding Ding The Witch Is Dead is from the MGM Classic movie The Wizard of Oz (musical adaptation by Herbert Stothart, lyrics by E.Y. Harburg, music by Harold Arlen, orchestral and vocal arrangements by George Bassman, Murry Cutter, Paul Marquardt, and Ken Darby.) Feedback: Yes please Head to Head
Previously, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Spike (to Willow): Relax. Im not asking you to do anything to her. Do you still have the curse Red? The one you used on that square-jawed siss... on Angel? ***** Spike is in full Victorian attire in Buffys living room William (as he walks over to Buffy and offers her his arm): Id be honored if you would drive out with me this evening. The moon is bright, but no brighter than your eyes. *****
William: Buffy, what are you doing? Buffy: Think. How did Angel lose his soul? William: Oh. Buffy, you dont have to do this. Are you sure? Buffy: No. William: Its OK. Ill be fine. Buffy (looks at him): I take that back. Yes. She kisses him again and falls into his embrace. His arms come up around her back as he kisses her. ***** Buffy: I dont know Will; I just dont completely trust him yet. I mean, Im not worried hes gonna freak out and eat my family or anything, its just...hes kinda new to the whole decent human being thing. ***** Spike deals the wolf a final blow and it disappears. He sees Buffy standing on her porch holding his blanket with her mouth hanging open. Buffy: What did you just do? Spike (very embarrassed at being caught in an act of altruism): Nothing! I mean well, it could have been the little bit, couldnt it? I mean... (He grabs his blanket from her and runs.) ***** Buffy: Cmon Spike, take a shot, I need my daily funnies. Spike (mumbling): I always rise to this.... He punches Buffy hard. She falls to the floor and looks up at him in surprise, clutching her already reddening cheek. Spike is not in any sort of pain. He looks at his fist, looks at Buffy, and a slow cocky grin begins to spread across his face. ************************************************************* Buffy is still on the floor of the danger room wearing a stunned statement while Spike, having just punched her, stands over her with a smug smile. Buffy: Where did that come from? Spike: Hmm. Interesting. Good question. Buffy: Arent you supposed to be rolling around on the floor in agony right now? Spike: Thats the general idea, yes. (Belatedly noticing that Buffy is still on the floor) Oh Im sorry pet, did I hurt you? (He reaches out a hand to help her up.) Buffy (shoves his hand away and gets up herself): Dont flatter yourself. Why didnt you tell me you got the chip out? Spike: Because I didnt. Buffy (not listening): Were you saving it up to spring on me? Cause I gotta tell you, not lovin the surprise present! Spike (grabs Buffy by the shoulders): Buffy, I didnt. Buffy (grabs his chin and forces him to look at her, in a gesture oddly reminiscent of his own when he had her chained in the basement. Her eyes search his for a long moment.): Oh yeah, cause I can see youre hating this a lot. (She looks pointedly at his hands.) Spike (releases her and takes a step back): Im not going to lie to you luv. Of course Im bloody happy to be more than your punching bag, but I have no more clue than you do what happened. Buffy: I cant deal with this now. Im going for a walk. Stay here, OK? Spike shrugs and lets her go. Buffy walks out into the front of the magic shop, quickly and with her face turned away. Willow: All done for the day? We havent heard Spike bounce off a wall for ten minutes! Buffy: Yup, all done. Going for a quick victory lap. Xander: Leaving us alone with the sharp and pointed one? Oh joy. ************************************************************* A bit later, Buffy makes her way up her front steps, stomps into the house and up to her room. She sits on the bed, and absently picks up Mr. Gordo. Dawn (leaning against the doorjamb): Wheres Spike? Buffy: Not here. Besides, its daytime. Dawn: Like that ever stops him hes got Mr. Blankie. Now that hes your boyfriend and all, couldnt you get him a big black umbrella? Buffy: Hes not my boyfriend! Dawn: Well, youve certainly been joined at the hip lately (in a simpering, mocking tone) Oh Spike, do you wanna come on patrol with me? Buffy: Well, how about Oh Spike, wanna come over and watch Disney movies? They stick their tongues out at each other. Dawn: Cmon Buffy, you can tell me, whats going on with you guys, hmmm? Buffy: I dont know. Get out. Dawn: Defensive much? Whats the problem? Hes got a soul now, and a chip, and hes HOT hello? Buffy: Its not that simple. Dawn: Seems simple enough to me. Vampire meets Slayer. Vampire tries to kill Slayer. Vampire falls in love with Slayer. They live happily ever after. The end. Buffy: And what part of that makes sense? Dawn: The happily ever after part? Look, do you like him or dont you? (Pauses) I think youre thinking too hard about this. (Starts to walk away) If you ever want to know what he says when youre not around... Buffy (getting up): What does he say? Dawn (shouting down hall): Thats for me to know and you to find out! (She slams her door.) ************************************************************* Later that evening at Sunnydales only hotspot, the Bronze: The scoobies have finally taken a night off. Xander is at the bar getting drinks, and Willow and Tara are on the dance floor. Anya is sitting at their table taking in her surroundings. Spike walks in, sees Anya, and goes to sit next to her. Spike: Evenin Anya: Hi Spike! Spike: So, hows my favorite ex-demon? Anya: Quite well actually, profits are up 13 percent this week. Its most encouraging. Spike: Great. Umm... Anya: Xander says now its my turn to ask how you are, even if I dont care. Spike: Well, Im glad you practically asked. Anya, I need to talk to someone, and you seem to be the only one around here wholl give me the time of day. Anya: Is this where I listen? Spike: Yeah, and then you give me advice after. Anya puts on her listening face. Spike: Its the Slayer! Im all mixed up. I told her I loved her, chained her up, OK, bad idea (Anya shrugs) got my soul back you were there for that bit lost it again in the most pleasing way and now... its anybodys bloody guess. Anya continues to nod and listen. Spike: I dont think she hates me anymore, were spending all this time together, but Id like to do something with her other than sticking sharp pointy bits into my old drinking buddies. Anya: Like have sex? Spike: That too. You were a vengeance demon, you listened to the problems of hundreds of brassed-off women, what am I doing wrong? Anya: Have you tried flowers? Spike: Yes. Anya: Chocolate? Spike: Yes. Anya: Poetry? Spike (groans): Yes. Anya: Have the two of you been communicating? Spike: You mean like talking? Anya: Yes, talking. Spike: Not really. Anya: Well, my advice is talking. And then sex. Did I help? Spike: Ill let you know. As he is getting up, Xander returns to the table, putting the drinks and his change down. Xander: What is it with you and taking my seat? Anya: Oh, Spike and I were just talking about sex. Xander: What?! Look you... Spike: Hey now, Im not pissing on your territory. Ill just be on my way. (He reaches down and deliberately picks up the change from the table. He sticks one dollar in Xanders front pocket and walks out with the rest, leaving Xander spluttering. ************************************************************* The next afternoon at the magic shop, Spike is in the danger room, giving the punching bag a good beating. Buffy starts to go in, but stops and turns to Giles. Buffy: Giles wheres with the watching? Giles: Well, um...you have Spike to practice on. Buffy: Spike is for hitting. Youre for the finer points of hitting Spike. Giles (as he starts to clean his glasses): Hes fought two Slayers, Im sure he can give you plenty of good advice. Buffy: Two heads are better than one, right? Giles: Buffy, I know Ive been avoiding our practice sessions lately, but Im still not entirely comfortable with Spike being a part of the team. Buffy: So you leave me with him by myself? Giles: You havent seemed to mind until now, whats changed? Buffy: Oh you know, just feelin the lack of your watcherly expertise? Giles (in an admonitory tone): Buffy... Buffy (pouting): Spike hit me. And he didnt even need any Excedrin afterwards. Giles: Ive told you to watch your left side... (Loudly) Spike hit you?! What about the chip? (All the scoobies perk up.) Buffy (shrugs): Mr. Chips is playing hooky, apparently. Xander: Youre kidding! Spike got the chip out? You get the stake; Ill get the broom! (He starts to whistle Ding-Dong the Witch is Dead.) Spike (lounging against the door to the danger room): And do what mate, hit me over the head? (He walks in, turns a chair backwards and sits down) Sorry to barge in like this, but I heard you all playing twenty questions and I couldnt resist. Mind if I join you? Xander: Ooh, ooh Ive got one! Why arent you dead yet? Spike: Ask the Slayer. Xander: OK (turning to Buffy.) Why isnt he dead yet? Buffy: He says he didnt take the chip out. Willow: Are you sure? Spike: Of course Im sure. Some bloke cutting into your skull with a hacksaw isnt exactly the kind of thing that slips your mind. Xander: And you believe him? This could all be a trick... Spike (exploding): Oh, right then. Its all my diabolical plan! In my copious free time between turning myself into a blithering idiot, babysitting little Miss Medeco, slaying dragons, and impersonating a crash test dummy, I snuck off for a bit of elective surgery! And them cleverly attacked the Slayer with a single punch, and let her go, in broad daylight in a building full of her friends! I realize good intentions dont cut much ice with you lot, but you might give me credit for basic tactics! Tara: Maybe you wished it away? Or dreamt about it while the spell was active? Spike: That wasnt what I wished. Giles: All the spells effects should have disappeared when we recited the counterspell. And Spike hardly counts as a child in any case. Xander: I still dont trust him. Buffy: Cut it out Xander, I trust him. Xander/Spike (simultaneously): You do? Willow: Maybe thats it! Buffy: Whats what? Willow: Spike, hit me! Spike: Ive got no beef with you Red, can I hit Xander? Xander: Only if youve got a death wish Blondie. Ive got a broom and Im not afraid to use it! (Spike smirks at him in contempt) Willow: Im serious, hit me. Spike: Alright, but you asked Ive got witnesses. (He goes to punch her, but ends up clutching his head in pain instead.) Willow: I thought so. You can only hit Buffy. Buffy: Why? Because someone up there decided I wasnt getting pummeled enough? Willow: Did you ask him to hit you? Buffy: Well, yeah. But I do that all the time. Part of the whole taunting thing. Spike (to Willow): So did you. It didnt seem to help much. Willow (to Buffy): You said you trust him. Maybe that makes a difference. Buffy: I did, didnt I? Willow: I guess the chip sensed that somehow. Giles: How could the chip possibly know any such thing? Tara: How could it know I was human when I didnt know myself? We have no idea how that thing works, we only know it does. Xander: We need Riley (Buffy winces) Sorry Buff. Spike: No we dont. So does this mean you dont trust me Red? Smart girl. (He pulls a cigarette out and goes to light it) Anya (taking the cigarette from his mouth): No smoking in my store! Spike: Well, I cant bloody well step outside, can I? Besides, you lot are always burning that foul incense in here. (He goes to get out another cigarette.)
Giles: I dont think the two of you should do anymore practicing together until we figure out whats going on here. Spike (getting up from the chair): And how do you plan on doing that mate? I dont think you have any scientists hiding up your ass. The only way were gonna figure this out is letting me get a bit of my own back from the Slayer. Giles (Pushes Spike back down, and goes into Ripper mode): No more practice until further notice. Spike (shrugging Giles off and getting up): Tell her, Im not your bloody teachers pet. (He lights up his cigarette, and goes back into the danger room.) ************************************************************* That night in the Sunnydale graveyard, Buffy has just taken out two vamps, and is well on her way to disposing of the third... Buffy: ...I mean, can you believe it? (Slap) Spike? (Slap) Spike! (Grabs him by the lapels) You know Spike, right? Vampire: Well I... Buffy: So he says he loves me, and writes poems (punch) really (punch) bad (punch) poems! And now (throws the vamp to the ground) nothing! No talking! Nothing! Vampire (trying to get away): Dyou think... Buffy: (grabs him by his collar): And then this chip thing! I mean whats that all about? (Heaves him into a gravestone) Am I happy about this? (Advances on him) I shouldnt be, but then again maybe I should... Vampire (backing up against the stone): Happy about what? What are you talking about? Buffy: Oh, you wouldnt understand. (She stakes him, and rises, dusting off her hands, as Spike comes sauntering up.) Spike: Nice work, luv. Buffy (startled): Spike, uh, how long have you been here? Spike: Just got here, why? Buffy: Oh, no reason. Spike notices that Buffys arm is bleeding, licks his lips, and determinedly looks her in the eye. Spike: Youre bleeding. Buffy: Just a scratch, no big. Spike: Buffy, I think you and I need to have a little chat. (He sits down on a gravestone.) Buffy: Do we really? Spike: Yes, much as I hate it, we do. Buffy (reluctantly): Fine. This is me, talking. (Pauses) What have you done with Mr. Romeo because I knew where you were at then, disturbing as it was, but now...I dont know... And with the whole chip thing thrown in... Spike: Im right where I was luv, but I thought Id give you a bit of breathing room. Buffy: Since when did you become so considerate? Spike: Since I became scared out of my bleedin mind. Buffy gives him a surprised and questioning look. Spike: I had nothing to lose before. Im not sayin Ive got you now but, well, weve spent a lot of time together these past couple weeks, and you havent threatened to kill me once. I dont want to fuck that up. Buffy: Oh. Thanks. Spike looks down, notices her bleeding again starts to fidget and looks back at her face. Buffy (mischievously): Dawn thinks were going to live happily ever after. Spike: Dawns been watching too many movies. What do you think? Buffy: Vampire and Slayer? Interesting plot for a sitcom. Spike: Wackiness ensues... They both smile. Spike: So, flowers out, chocolates out, poems definitely out. What do you want? Buffy: I want to know whats going on with the chip. Spike: Well, we wont get any further on that if youre going to be a good little Slayer and obey your Watcher. Buffy starts to answer, but stops as Spike tears a piece of his T-shirt off and goes to cover her arm. Spike: Will you cover that already? Buffy (squirming away): What is your problem? Its nothing, look! Spike loses control and vamps out, and Buffy jumps back from him, scared. Buffy: I cant believe you! I thought we were getting somewhere, and it turns out you just had the munchies! Spike: I cant bloody help it, Im a vampire, remember?! Buffy: Im leaving. Spike: Buffy, wait! Buffy: No! Spike wait, Buffy leave. (She stalks off.) Spike mutters some obscenities under his breath, kicks over a gravestone, and makes his way back to his tomb. *************************************************************
Meanwhile, in Xanders apartment, Anya is in bed watching Xander pace back and forth. Xander: So, what were you and and and insert insult here, getting so chummy about at the Bronze? Anya: He was just asking my advice about Buffy. Xander: And you gave it to him? Let me make this clear. Spike equals evil. We hate Spike. Anya: No, you hate Spike. I find him rather entertaining. Xander: You what? Anya, he may be winning Buffy over, but I cant believe youre falling for this prodigal son act too! Anya: I liked him before that. But Spike has changed. Xander: Demons dont change. Anya: Then how do you explain me? Xander: Thats different. Anya: No, its not. Its exactly the same. I wouldnt go back to being a demon; Ive got you. Xander: But Spike did horrible things! Anya: So did I. Xander, why do you always act like the reason I dont know how to behave like the rest of you is because I was born yesterday, not because I spent a thousand years as a vengeance demon? Xander: Well its not exactly something a guy wants to dwell on. Anya: Thats a problem. I want to learn everything I can about you, even the parts that bother me. But you want to pretend that most of what I remember never even happened. And whenever I meet someone else who knows what it was like back then, you get all mad. And loud. And I dont think thats fair. Xander: Thats because anyone whos been around half as long as you is a homicidal maniac! Anya: Why does that make you jealous? Do you want to be a homicidal maniac? Xander: Youre missing the point. Anya: Well, what is your point, then? Xander: That Spike is bad. With a capital B-A-D. And possible soul or no soul, hes never going to change. And hence, we should not be helping him get to Buffy! Anya: Well, Im sorry I gave Spike my advice. Hes the only one who ever asks for it, or thinks I might know about anything except really old monsters. I think he has changed, I think he is changing, and I think I know much more than you do when it comes to this. And you know what else? I hope he gets her. (She turns away from him, and shuts off the bedside lamp.) Xander pauses for a minute, considering, and walks out. ************************************************************* A little while later, Xander slams open the door to Spikes crypt, to find Spike sitting in his easy chair drinking a bottle of scotch and smoking. Xander: You may have everyone fooled, but not me. Spike: Oh goody, another unwelcome guest. Wish I could get you people de-invited from my house. Xander: Admit it, you havent changed. Youre just doing this because you have an insane obsession with Buffy, and as soon as you get over it its back to tearing us apart and screwing us over. Spike: Yeah, maybe. I dont expect it to end anytime soon, and with any luck you wont be around by then. I stayed with my last girlfriend for over a hundred years. Xander: Buffy is not your girlfriend! Spike: Yet. Xander: No, never. Spike: Why are you here? If Buffy doesnt want me, shes bloody well capable of telling me herself. If she does, theres nothing you can say about it. Now sod off! Xander (ignoring him): The same goes for Anya, I want you to leave her out of your twisted schemes. Spike: Let me repeat myself, mate. If she doesnt want to talk to me, she can say so herself. Now, Ive had as much of you as I can stand for one night. Clear out before I decide youre worth the headache. Xander (goes to leave): Im watching you. I know youre going to slip up, and when you do... Spike: Yeah, yeah, Im tremblin in my boots. Go home Xander. Xander leaves and slams the door behind him. Spike, frustrated and annoyed, grabs his duster and goes outside to hunt. ************************************************************* A bit later, Spike has found himself a vampire, and commences beating upon him. Spike (holding a dazed vampire up by the coat and punching him in the face): Think you can tell me who I can talk to? Without this bleedin chip it would be your face Im punchin in right about now! (Kicks the vamps legs out form under him) You think youve got me figured out? (Kicks the vamp in his side) I was fooling blokes like you when your grandmother was still playing with ruddy dolls! (Kicks the vamp over and steps on his neck) I may be behaving myself for the Slayers sake, but I sure as hell dont have to take this from you! (He brings his boot down hard, and snaps the vampires neck.) ************************************************************* Xander makes his way from Spikes crypt to Buffys house. He begins to throw stones at her window. Buffy, not having returned home from patrol until now, walks up behind him. Buffy: Shes not home. Xander (jumping): Buffy! You scared me! Buffy: Sorry Xander. What are you doing here? Its really late. Xander: I need to talk to you. Buffy (under her breath): Great, more talk. (To Xander) Wanna come in? Xander: Sure. They go into the kitchen, and Buffy gets out the cornpops and a bowl. Buffy: So, whats up? Xander: Anya and I had a fight. Then Spike and I had a fight. Now Im here. Buffy (pauses with the spoonful of cereal midway to her mouth): Well that was really...short. Would you care to go for the extended remix? Xander: Spike was trying to pump Anya for Buffy dating tips, and I, for one, do not approve. Buffy (confused): Why Anya? Xander: Some sort of demon bonding moment, I think. I dont trust him Buffy, and I dont understand why you do. Buffy (takes a couple more bites of cereal before continuing): I certainly dont trust him to be Joe model citizen, but I do believe he wont hurt me on purpose anymore. Xander: How could you think that? Because he decided to help out once or twice to get in your pants? Half the time he only makes things worse! Buffy (a bit miffed): No because if this was some sort of plot, even Harmony could do better! Theres nothing in this for Spike but hurt. Xander: How do you figure that? Buffy: So far hes gotten nothing but sunburns, snide comments and unpaid babysitting duty. Hes not any closer to killing me, getting his chip out or whatever else used to make Spike tick. Xander: So, youre fine with this? The fact that he can hit you now doesnt make you lose any sleep? Buffy: Of course it does. Im scared Xander; here I am, the chosen one, the one whos supposed to protect everyone from things that go bump in the night, and Im scared. Slayers only come in two flavors: the strongest there is and dead. And now Im starting to trust someone who used to plot my death as a hobby, and even worse, Im starting to count on him. Im terrified Xander. Xander: So stop. Buffy: Thats not what I do. In my line of work if you dont face up to the scary stuff, it just gets you when youre not looking. Xander (sighs): OK, I get why you need to use him, but I still dont get why you trust him, much less like him. Buffy: Why does anybody like anybody? Werent you the vice-president of the I-Hate-Cordelia club? Xander: Treasurer. Buffy: I stand corrected. (Pauses as she idly stirs her cereal) Im not asking you to like him; Im not asking you to trust him. Im asking you to trust me. Xander (giving Buffy a supportive hug, but looking very reluctant over her shoulder): For you, Ill try. ************************************************************* The next night, Buffy is in the graveyard fighting off her nightly dose of vampires. Spike walks on the scene after she has dispatched two of the four, and helps her kill the stragglers. After the vamps are dust, they stop and stare at each other for a minute or two, not knowing what to say. Spike: Um, hi. Fancy meeting you here. Buffy: Whod a thunk? Spike: Im sorry I scared you. Buffy: You didnt scare me. Spike: Yes I did. Admit it, Ive still got it. Buffy (giving him an unwilling smile): OK, maybe a little. I know you werent going to attack me, but eew? Spike: Enough eew. You dated His Broodiness for how long, and you still cant deal with it? Were vampires, we like blood. He may have spent all his time pretending to be an anemic human but I know what I am. I seem to recall you wanting the old Spike back. Well, its a package deal. Buffy: Give me time, you have to give me time. I havent even begun to deal with the whole special Buffy chip exemption. Spike: Well, we cant start dealing with that as long as your Watcher keeps a lock on the danger room. Buffy: Giles is only trying to help. Spike: Giles is trying to pretend I dont exist and Im bloody sick of it! On that note, do you think you could put a leash on that yapping Chihuahua friend of yours? Buffy: Huh? Spike: You know, Xander? He stormed into my place demanding that I dont talk to you, his girlfriend, and possibly every bloody woman on the planet! Buffy: What is it with you and Xander? Youre like five year-olds fighting over a toy truck. Spike: That useless ruddy git just doesnt like having a man around who can do more than provide comic relief. Buffy: He does a lot more than that! Spike: Like what? Buffy, having no immediate answer punches Spike in the face. Spike: Have you forgotten? (He punches her back) Buffy: No, I havent forgotten, but I still ran circles around you before you got the chip. (She slugs him again) Spike: Youve got no mum with an axe, (punch) no meddling scoobies (his next punch is blocked before it connects) Its just you and me, pet. Buffy (getting into fighting stance): Im the Slayer, who else do I need? Spike (getting ready for the onslaught): Me. They begin to fight in earnest. Buffy sends a roundhouse kick Spikes way, sending him flying over four gravestones, before landing with his cheek in the dirt. He flips himself up, as she advances on him, kicking her in the chin in the process. He grabs her, spins her around, attempting a hold, and is met with a backward head butt. As he releases her, she leaps, doing a spinning kick to his head, which is stopped just in time by Spike grabbing her foot and sending her flying across the graveyard, into the wall of a crypt. She picks herself up, and launches another attack. They continue in this manner for many minutes, each attacking and blocking with incredible speed and skill. Finally, Spike deals Buffy a stunning blow to the chin. She returns in kind, and they both stop. They look up at each other, and slow smiles begin to form on their faces, eventually spreading into huge identical grins.
The End - TBC
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© 2001 Death-Marked Love