No More Goodbyes

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~~ No More Good-byes ~~

Buffy woke up the next morning and rolled over onto her back. Staring at the ceiling, she remembered the previous night’s events. Spike admitted he loved her but she knew she didn’t love him. She only liked him, but could her attraction grow? Could she possibly love this soulless vampire?
As Buffy showered, she kept thinking of Spike’s near death experience over her. It was hurting him that much just being around her and being ignored. *And the kiss...It was well above average.* She thought smiling to herself.

Buffy got dressed and fixed her hair then went downstairs to have breakfast. Dawn and Joyce were already in the kitchen, chatting and eating. “Morning, ladies,” Buffy said. “How have your weekends been so far?”

They glanced at each other before answering, “Fine.” Buffy was in an unusually good mood as compared to the last few days she’d spent moping and brooding around the house.

“That’s good,” Buffy replied. She grabbed an apple and washed it under the tap. “So what are you guys up to today?”

“Well, actually I was thinking of going mountain climbing on Mount Everest,” Buffy’s mom replied. Dawn muffled a laugh. She knew Buffy would play the protective daughter/Slayer role and lecture Mom about staying inside and resting.

“Sounds like fun,” she said instead. “I’ll be going out for a while but I’ll be back before dinner.” She glanced at her watch.

She left the house and Dawn and Joyce stared at each other. “Maybe she met someone new?” Dawn suggested.

Joyce shrugged her shoulders. “I guess we’ll find out when she’s ready to tell us,” she said and continued to eat her breakfast.

Buffy walked through the cemetery and made her way to Spike’s crypt. Instead of kicking open the door like she usually did, she knocked. After a few minutes a sleepy Spike answered the door. When he saw her standing there, he immediately woke up. “Um, Buffy, come on in,” he said holding the door open for her. She smiled and walked by him.

“Is Harmony here?” she asked.

Spike closed the door and shook his head. “No, she moved out last week,” he replied. “She’s got a fledgling boy-toy who’s stupider than she is. I guess they got their own place.”

“You’re not jealous are you?” she teased.

Spike laughed out loud and winced a little. The puncture wound in his heart had only half healed but would be gone by tomorrow. “Jealous?” he chuckled. “You’re cute, Slayer. Why would I want to spend time with her playing 20 questions, when I could be here talking to you.”

Buffy smiled. That was the answer she was hoping for. “Spike, I need to talk to you,” she began. Spike nodded and sat down on the stone coffin where Harmony used to hide whenever Buffy came by unannounced. Buffy sat beside him and turned so she was facing him. “About last night, I what I said. And I want to spend more time with you, but as for being a couple...that might take a little bit longer than you want.”

Spike smiled softly. He was hoping that she would run into the crypt and fall into his arms, kissing him and hugging him and telling him how much she loved him. But in a way he was glad that this is how it happened. After all, that’s how things began with Riley, they started dating almost immediately and they claimed to love each other not to long after. That’s not what Spike wanted. He wanted the Slayer’s love to be honest and true...not just a mask for her friends, family and for him.

“Spike? Earth to Spike, are you there?” she said waving a hand in front of his face.

“Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking,” he replied. “So what happens now?”

“I guess we could start patrolling together or Bronzing or just hanging out watching Passions or something.” she said grinning.

“Sounds like a plan,” he said. “I love you, Buffy. I want you to know that I’ll...no, I promise you that I’ll never hurt you and I’ll never lie to you.”

Buffy smiled. “I wish I could say that I loved you, Spike. But I don’t,” she replied honestly. Spike’s smile fell and when Buffy saw it, she quickly continued. “Not yet anyway. But I’m sure I will, and as soon as I know, I’ll tell you.” Spike looked into her eyes as she gently placed her hand over his unbeating heart. “I hope that I can heal the hole in your heart eventually.” she said.

“You already have,” he said. He put a cool hand on her cheek and kissed her softly. She pulled back to look at her and there were tears in her eyes. “I love you, Slayer.”

“I like you, Spike,” she replied. She looked around the crypt. “Nice place. I’ve never really noticed it before--” she stopped herself as her eyes came to rest on a mannequin with a blond wig. “What the hell is that?”

Spike chuckled nervously. “Well I’d love to say that it’s Harmony’s clothing model, but I said I’d never lie so I guess I’ll tell you,” he took a deep unneeded breath and continued. “That thing is what I’ve been practicing talking to before I get the guts to talk to you.”

Buffy just laughed. “That’s--sweet?” she asked, searching her mind for an appropriate word. She figured that ‘weird’ or ‘creepy’ probably wouldn’t go over well with him.

Spike smiled and looked down. “I know it’s stupid, but I’m such a schoolboy when it comes to love.” he said.

“Then I’ll be your schoolgirl,” Buffy said. She lifted his chin and kissed him. She was already starting to love him.

~~ The End ~~