My Goddess

   Fanfiction
      -My Fics
      -Collaborations
      -Other Buffy/Spike Fics
      -Series
      -Challenges
      -Non Buffy/Spike Fics
   History
   Links
   Link to Me
   Updates
   Awards Won


   Back to Main

   E-mail Hilary

Title: My Goddess
Author: Suzi
Feedback: Please!!!!!! I need to know.!!!!! Send it
to tarakavamp@yahoo.co.uk
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song is Tender by Blur
(which I forgot to mention in my previous fic)
Rating: Don’t know
Dedication: For Catty, thanks for everything.

**************************
Buffy was all consumed, last night was so confusing,
but felt so good. All she could think of was - *Spike,
why, why now? God, your eyes are magnificent, electric
blue and- stop it Buffy!! You are not thinking of him,
you are looking at this. Okay, Glorificus feeds on the
minds of mortals and has, over the millenniums, been
found to be – Oh, Spike!*

***************************
Spike was having trouble sleeping. That hadn’t
happened since Angelus left, but here he was, unable
to sleep. He had tried, god damn it! He had lied on
the sarcophagus for hours, but sleep did just not want
to come to the vampire. His mind was filled with one
thought, and one thought alone, *Buffy*.

***********************************
The Bronze, place of social activity, and now
officially Buffy’s favourite place in Sunnydale, was
more alive than it had been in weeks. The whole gang
was there tonight, sat around a different table as
some wanker, as Spike would put it, had sat in their
usual places. Buffy had wanted to kick them out of
their seats and through the wall if necessary.
Although Anya was all for it, the gang talked her out
of it, and pretty soon they were sat at a different
table, near the dance floor. It had been hard to find
a table with such a clear view of the club as the
original table. Buffy spent most of her Bronzing
nights looking for vamps and so needed a clear view of
the entrance, fire exits, bar, etc. She was sat facing
the entrance, twisting round in her seat, she didn’t
like sitting here. Then, all of a sudden, sitting at
this rotten table was made all worth while. Spike
walked in through the door, platinum hair gleaming in
the dim club lights. Buffy felt her breath catch in
her chest as he looked towards the table that the gang
normally sat at, he was looking for her! She smiled to
herself; Willow saw and tried to hide her grin, while
nudging a giggling Tara in the ribs. Xander couldn’t
understand what all the fuss was about, after all, it
was only Spike. *Oh if only you knew how I felt* Buffy
thought. Spike saw them and decided he would go over.
Willow seized Tara who was in fits of giggles and
pulled her onto the dance floor. Anya decided that
dancing seemed like a good idea, and grabbed Xander.
Buffy sighed. By this time Spike had crossed the club
and was now stood by the table.

“Is this seat taken?” he said absent-mindedly,
pointing to the stool next to Buffy.

“Huh? Oh, no, sit down.” Buffy said, she could feel
herself going red. Spike sat down and smiled at her,
she consciously felt her legs turn to jelly.

“So, Buffy.” Spike said seriously “What was with last
night?”

“Last night?” Buffy said, not really wanting to
discuss the topic.

“Yeah, you know, with the dancing thing.” Spike urged
her.

“I just wanted to dance.”

“For hours on end?”

“Well, yeah.” Buffy sighed “I’m not fooling you am I?”

“Not a bit, luv.” Spike grinned “So you gonna tell?”

“No. D’you wanna dance?” Buffy smiled as the same song
as last night started up again.

“Alright, if you promise to tell me what this is
about.”

“I promise.” She smiled as she took his had and pulled
him to her as they walked onto the dance floor. She
listened to the song, she was going to have to buy it,
it was very addictive.

>Tender is the night lying by your side
Tender is the touch
Of someone that you love to much
Tender is my heart, you know
I’m screwing up my life
Oh lord I need to find
Someone who can heal my mind<

“Buffy,” Spike said, looking into her eyes as they
swayed with the music, “you promised to tell me what
this is all about.”

“I know.”

“You gonna tell me?”

“Alright, Spike, this is what it is all about.” Buffy
stood on tiptoe and pulled Spike’s head down to meet
hers and she kissed him. He froze, before he found
himself responding. She kissed him daintily, tenderly,
affectionately, softly, all of the above. She licked
his lips, begging for access to his mouth, which he
willingly gave. Buffy pulled herself closer to him,
and pulled his head further down as he deepened the
kiss and explored her mouth with his tongue.

******************************
Spike returned to his crypt walking on air. This was
what he had been waiting for. Happiness overwhelmed
him, no wonder his Sire had lost his soul fucking that
girl if this is what it felt like to kiss her. And
she’d kissed him. Not the other way around. So this is
what true happiness feels like. Spike smiled to
himself, then he froze, he wasn’t alone. His senses
were screaming out *vampire*. He mentally checked his
pockets for stakes and spun round staring into the
shadows.

“Who’s there?” he growled.

“A ghost from your past.” sang a melodious voice.
Spike spun round angrily, then gasped at the sight
before him.

“Cecily,” he breathed “this is impossible, your dead.”

“Technically, yes” she smiled as she vamped out before
him.

“How did this happen?” Spike said, shocked.

“This miracle, you mean?” she smiled evilly “Let’s
just say it was an old friend of yours.”

“Who?” Spike growled.

“Ooh! Temper, temper.” She cooed softly “You were
never like this before, William.”

“Who?” he said again.

“Dru.” She said simply. He growled. “Well, you
certainly have changed.” She grinned.

“So have you.” He said, calming down a little.

“Maybe just a little. Will, could you tell me
something?”

“Anything.”

“Am I still effulgent?”

“More than ever.” he breathed “But I don’t use that
word anymore.”

“Good.” She smiled. God, she was beautiful, he
remembered when she first saw her, angels made of
starlight could never possibly be as magnificent – but
enough of that now, she was talking again. “No more
poetry?”

“Not a word.”

“Not a syllable?” she asked.

“No” he smiled; he should have been the one to turn
her, not Dru, then who knows how his life may have
turned out. “Cecily,” he said, choosing his words
carefully “If you’ve been alive, well undead, all this
time, then why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“You were with Dru. She would have killed me if I
messed that up for you two.”

“So what went on in the one hundred and twenty years I
haven’t seen you?”

“Well, I killed a slayer in the Ukraine, lead an
attack on the Watchers council, sired countless childe
and changed my fashion sense.”

“So I see.” He said, taking in her incredibly short
white leather skirt, her white halter neck top and her
white leather duster. “You’ve been a busy girl. Not
much has happened to me.”

“I wouldn’t call killing two slayers nothing.” Cecily
smiled.

“You know?”

“I know everything. You’re powerful, you’re bad,
you’re a killer.” She whispered walking up to him.

“No, I’m not.” Spike panted as Cecily pressed herself
against his chest.

“Yes, you are,” she whispered in his ear “You are, and
I like it.”

“I’m not. You see luv, the government decided to stop
me and my evil ways to make up for me not paying my
taxes.”

“I know all about the chip, it shan’t be a problem for
much longer, my sweet.” She whispered, running a
fingernail down his cheek. “I know what you want, I
know what you really need. You and Drusilla were never
meant to be. It should have been you and me, forever.”

“It should have, but you refused me, pet.”

“I never refused you, darling.”

“I thought I was beneath you.” Spike said, looking at
the dark goddess before him.

“William the bad poet with a soul was beneath me, but
you, you’re so much stronger, you’re bad, and I love
that in a man. We’re equals.” She smiled and rubbed
herself against him, leaving him breathless. “I don’t
expect anything William, but I need to know.”

“Cecily, I-“ he began as she pushed away from him.

“William, I shall return tomorrow, but you need to
think.” She turned and began to walk away.

“About what?” he called after her.

“Love.” She replied.

******************************

Buffy had been sat at the Bronze for hours, listening
to Xander rage. He had seen her kissing Spike and now
he was giving her a lecture that would have put Giles’
in their place. When Xander had seen them he walked
straight over and Spike had growled, his game face
threatening to emerge. Buffy had told him to go,
kissed him and turned to face a livid Xander. Xander
was now getting onto the finer points on why kissing
evil, soul-less vampires was not a good idea, when a
scream pierced the air. Buffy jumped up and crossed
the club to where the barmaid had frozen up. She was
stood adjacent to a broom-cupboard and lying on the
floor, having fallen out of the cupboard was a man of
about twenty. Dead. His eyes were rolled back in their
sockets and his neck was at a funny angle. Buffy bent
down to examine the body. Pulling the top of his polo
neck down, she saw the fang marks in the centre of his
neck. She shuddered, normally vamps were better about
disposing the bodies, but this one was soooo not
careful and was soooo gonna get staked. Buffy lifted
her head when the bartender came back from ringing the
police and started talking about how he knew the guy.

“Yeah, was in here last night, ‘till ‘bout midnight I
guess. Been moaning all night about some girl, Karla,
I think he said her name was. Anyway she’d left him
for some biker. Then this girl comes in, very
beautiful she was, dressed all in white, dark hair,
and our man decides that she was prettier than Karla,
or was it Katherine? But he comes onto her and I go to
get more glasses, when I come back, they were both
gone. I presumed that they had gone off somewhere and
thought nothin’ more of it. If the guy’s dead then the
girl probably is too. We should look.”

Buffy digested this information as Anya and Willow
started naming various demons who could have done
this, not seeing the marks made by the teeth.

“Guys,” Buffy said, “I think we should go tell Giles.”

*********************************

“I thought you were at the Bronze.” Giles said as the
five entered the magick shop. Dawn smiled at them form
where she sat, looking at the crystals.

“We were, but then was this dead guy in the closet and
Buffy brought us back here.” Willow said.

“Dead guy?” Giles said looking at Buffy.

“Vampire.” Buffy stated. “Normal attack, except no eye
witnesses.”

“You seem worried.”

“I am, the barman said a girl was with him last, and
I’m thinking it was her, either that or she’s dead
too.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you’re worried.”

“Because the barman described someone who looks like
Drusilla.” Buffy half-screamed.

“Well, that’s not exactly true, Buff. He said she was
pretty and had dark hair. That describes hundreds of
people.” Xander said

“Buffy, it seems your getting very worked up over
nothing. We’ll research this girl and who she might be
if she is actually a vamp. You go out and patrol, look
for her, or something that might have killed her.”
Giles said calmly.

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” Buffy said as she walked out the
door.

*****************************
Buffy had done three sweeps of six different
cemeteries and found nothing that fitted the
description. There were a few vamps that turned to
dust ant the hands of Mr. Pointy, but no dark haired
girl. No Spike either, which surprised her, he was
always around. She was walking through a graveyard,
not a place where vamps liked to hang out, it was too
close to the church for their liking. But she was
walking through it anyway, when she saw something over
by the sycamore tree. She wandered over and saw a
vampire, clad in white, feeding off a priest. Buffy
used all her speed to get over there, but it was too
late, the vampiress dropped the holy man to the ground
and her mask came back on as she looked over to Buffy.
Buffy gasped, a dark haired vampire, wearing white –
the vamp from the Bronze.

“Slayer.” she sang in her voice made of crystal, that
sent shivers running down Buffy’s back. But Buffy
wasn’t scared that easily.

“Hi, and you are?”

“Your worst nightmare.” She smiled.

“Heard that one before.”

“Not from me though.”

“So,” Buffy said, losing patience, “does my worst
nightmare have a name?”

“She does.” The vampiress smiled, “But, she’s not
tellin’.”

“Was it you who ate that man at the Bronze last night
then?” Buffy decided she was sick of this game.

“Well, I had a long journey, and he was annoying me.”
Her English accent was strong, yet beautiful.

“And you didn’t even change after last night?” Buffy
said, eyeing her white clothes, and that duster, it
clung to her in the same way Spike’s did.

“Oh, I changed, I just always wear white, it’s a
trademark.”

“Aha, so are we gonna fight or not?” Buffy said sick
of talk.

“Not.” She said. “Now is not the time” she looked
around, “or the place.”

“Who are you?” Buffy said, taken aback.

“They call me ‘The Cat’ maybe you can find out who I
am.” She said as she retreated into the shadows.

****************************

After a night of intensive study, Willow had come up
trumps. She had been on the computer all night,
thankful that they now had access to the watcher
files, and found details on ‘The Cat’.

“Her real name is Cecily Addams, she was sired in
January 1881, by Drusilla. She killed a slayer in
1902. She led an attack on the Watchers Council HQ in
London in 1926. She got them to release thirty-six of
the vampires that they were holding. There are
numerous references to her up until 1991, when she
doesn’t seem to have done anything.” Willow looked up
from the sheet she held in her hand. “What d’you
suppose happened?”

“Well it says here that she was in love with a vampire
who didn’t know she existed, she never revealed
herself for fear of displeasing Drusilla. It says here
that none of the other vampires connected with
Drusilla, I suppose that means Angel, Darla and Spike,
were aware of the existence of the vamp.” Giles sighed
and removed his glasses. “Well, I suppose that means
we can’t ask Spike or Angel for anymore information on
Cecily.” He muttered, while cleaning them.

“Cecily.” Buffy said. “I’m sure I’ve heard that name
somewhere before.”

*********************************
Spike had sat in his crypt all day, wondering what to
do. As soon as Cecily said ‘Love’ he had known exactly
what she meant. Buffy. Now he had to make a decision,
Buffy or Cecily. He loved Buffy and he knew it, he was
what she needed, all the men in her life just hurt
her. But there was Cecily, the woman he worshipped for
the whole of his human life, and he was stuck. How the
HELL was he supposed to make this kind of decision?
Cecily was going to come soon, expecting an answer,
and he would have to give her one, she wouldn’t give
him anymore time, he knew the girl.

He heard the door scrape on the stone floor and he
spun around to see Cecily. She looked glorious,
dressed in a long white dress which emphasised the
curves of her body and her white duster hung over her
shoulders. Spike smiled, how could he turn his back on
this black goddess? Cecily smiled and shrugged off her
duster. The two ran for each other, crossing the room
with vampiric speed, and came together, kissing
passionately. Cecily pushed Spikes’ duster off as he
pushed the dress off her shoulders.

She is Poison