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E-mail Hilary

by Nebula

Note: This is a response to Challenge 43

AN: Thanks to my beta, Mel, for helping me out time and time again. Also, thanks to my very good friend Hils for posting my stories for me. Love ya both!

< --- >

Buffy swallowed at the sight of him with that...the girl could've passed for a hooker. What the hell was Spike doing with her? Buffy was right here! Granted, she was dressed in a dress that was radioactive, but why was he with that girl, and not her?

Oh yeah. Because you asked him not to. Buffy almost rolled her eyes. Would she ever learn? Probably not in this century.

He was turning this way. No! Can't let him see me. She glanced around, her eyes rapidly searching for an escape.

There! A door. Not really caring about who was behind it or what they might be doing, she ducked inside.

No one. Phew. Cautiously she risked a peek, catching a glance of Spike with his attitude, the girl wrapped around him. He looked around, as if trying to find someone. He frowned, apparently not finding what it was. Buffy had no doubt that it was her he was searching for. She sighed, closing the door quietly. Why were things never easy for her?

< --- >

The moment he didn't see Buffy, Spike let go of the girl. He wanted to show her, make her see that if she could drop their 'relationship' so easily, so could he. Except he was bluffing. He was hoping that she wouldn't be able to see that.

"Can I go get a drink or something?" the girl asked, yawning.

Spike nodded absently. Hannah...Harriet...Honey...? Oh bugger. It didn't really matter what her name was; it wasn't Buffy, and that's all that mattered.

Glancing around again, he turned and bumped into Dawn. She gave him a grin and launched herself into his arms once she realized it was him.

He smirked at her. "Good to see you too, Bit. You find any cute guys here?"

Dawn shrugged. "Nothing yet. I've been busy seating guests. Have you seen my sister, by any chance?"

He almost rolled his eyes. "I was just about to ask you. Haven't seen her since I walked in. Why?"

"She asked me to get this for her," Dawn explained, holding up a small bag of makeup. "She was crying earlier, and she screwed up her eyeliner."

Spike raised an eyebrow, trying to look indifferent. Inside, he was torn between being happy and sad at the news. Sad that his...no, the Slayer was unhappy. Yet, he couldn't help being joyful at the news. Could she possibly be...no, she couldn't be. But maybe she could be. Just maybe.

"She tell you why she was makin' a mess of herself?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Probably the same reason she's been crying for the last past couple of days. She keeps saying it's because of the wedding, but I don't think so. She came running home that night after the whole Riley thing and locked herself in her room. Like if she closed the door, we couldn't hear her sobbing. She still won't tell us why."

A beep from Dawn's waist had her growling. "Oh, come on! I abandoned my post for two minutes. Two minutes! Can't people figure out that they're supposed to sit on their asses?" She turned to go, then stopped, glancing back at Spike. "If you see my sister, give her this?"

Spike had barely nodded when he found the bag thrown at him. "Thanks!" Dawn called, running off towards the entrance.

Spike stared after the teen, shaking his head. He did NOT envy her job at the moment. He let his thoughts drift back to what she'd said. The night after the whole Riley thing. Where would that place him? He'd been at his crypt, trying to drink himself into oblivion, because she'd...oh. His hope flared again. Because she'd broken up with him. Maybe she'd really been crying over him?

He mentally kicked himself. It was over. There was nothing left between them.
He couldn't shake the small twinge of hope, however, as he wandered down the halls.

< --- >

Buffy peeked outside. Coast is clear, captain. Now, to find Dawn and ask her where her makeup was. Waiting in the room, thinking about the person on the other side of the door, had brought on a fresh bout of tears. She hated this.

Once she'd left Spike devastated in his crypt, she'd run all the way back to her house, tears blinding her vision. She'd hurled herself onto her bed and had started to sob. She wanted him so badly, it hurt. But she was just using him. She couldn't do it anymore. It was over.

Besides, even if she have feelings, he could never forgive her for everything she'd done to him. She'd destroyed anything, friendship or more, between them. They would always be enemies. All because of what she'd done, or failed to do. Her eyes began to tear up again, but she quickly wiped them away. She needed her makeup kit...

As she wandered the halls, she bumped into a tuxedo-ed figure. "Sorry," she started. "I didn't look where I was...Xander?"

He looked horrid. His bow had come undone, and his hair was slightly rumpled. The thing that made her heart wrench the most, however, was the look of despair and misery on his face. "Are you okay?"

He chuckled bitterly, before choking back a sob. "I can't do this," he whispered brokenly.
Her eyes widened as she realized why she'd bumped into him. He'd been heading for the exit. Oh no. "Come with me," she said, taking his hand in hers. She led him back to the room she'd been in moments before and closed the door again. "Talk to me, Xan."

He shuddered, taking a seat. "I can't...I can never be good enough for her. I'll make her miserable."

"What?! Xander, no!" Buffy sighed, and brought her voice down a few levels before starting again. "Xander, sweetie, no. Tell me what happened. What brought this on?"
"I..." Xander closed his eyes. "I just have this horrid feeling that we'll end up married, and we'll fight all the time. And I..."

Buffy knelt in front of him and took his hands in hers. Were all the Scoobies messed up when it came to love?

< --- >

Spike had been brought out of his thoughts when he'd heard a familiar voice yelling at the groom. He hurried towards the closed door, then realized it wasn't shut all the way. Silently he pushed it open enough to see what was going on.

Buffy was kneeling in front of the whelp, who was looking absolutely miserable. Tears ran down his face as she took his hands in hers. "Listen to me," she said quietly. "You two love each other. I know that she loves you. She told me the other day how lucky she is to have found a guy she doesn't have to eviscerate."

Xander laughed, then sniffled. "Things aren't gonna be easy for you two," she continued, smiling at him. "But you guys are gonna make it in the long run. I know you will."

"I don't know if I'm brave enough to take the chance," he muttered. "The chance of heartbreak."

Buffy shook her head. "You are strong enough. Believe me. If you find someone that loves you unconditionally, they're not going to care if there's heartbreak. They're willing to accept it for that other chance. The one of being with the person they love more than life itself."

Spike swallowed past the lump in his throat, but continued listening. He missed her so much...

"What if we mess stuff up, Buff? I..." He hung his head. "I don't want to hurt her."

"You'll hurt her so much more by not giving it a chance then by actually doing so. And if there is ever a tough time for you two, you'll have so many happy memories to look back on."

Xander looked at her, and suddenly Buffy found herself gazing at her own reflection. Scared, unable to believe that things could be perfect after so many mishaps in the past, but hopeful. It was only then that she realized she'd been telling Xander everything Spike had been telling her over the months. Ironic much?

Spike almost snorted. She was telling the boy what he'd been trying to hammer into her skull for ages now. Did she even understand that?

As he watched her eyes widen with the realization of something, he knew she had. She looked at Xander with what seemed a new light as the boy whispered, "Is love enough?"
Buffy stared at him, tears glistening in her eyes as she realized she'd been asking the same question for months now. Was it enough to live on? To live for?

She blinked and looked back up at him, tears running down her face. "Yes."

< --- >

Spike's jaw dropped. Her wobbly smile, the understanding dawning in her eyes, and the glistening tears running down her face...she knew. She finally knew.

Xander seemed to understand, too. "Thank you," he said, trying to smile through his own tears. "Almost did something really stupid there."

Buffy laughed, wiping her eyes on her arm. "We both did," she whispered, standing with him. The two embraced, and Spike quickly hid himself behind a pillar. Would she...?

The two Scoobies stepped out, with Buffy fussing over Xander's bow. They shared a smile, before heading off into different directions. Xander headed back to his room to finish getting ready, and Buffy headed towards the reception hall. Towards Spike's hiding spot. Before he knew what he was doing, he had stepped out in front of her.

She jumped, startled at his appearance. The two stared, before he cleared his throat. "Dawn, uh, asked me to give this to you," he mumbled, handing her the makeup bag.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

Silence.

Buffy gazed at him, wishing she could take back earlier words, earlier actions. Nowhere to go but forward. Could she try again? She had to at least try. "Um, Spike?"

He looked up at her. At least he's willing to talk, or listen. She swallowed, before starting again. "I, um, wanted to talk to you about..."

"Hey sugar."

Both turned to see the girl heading for them, a drink in her left hand. She snaked her right arm around Spike, giving Buffy a disapproving look. "Who the hell is she?"

Buffy blinked back tears. So much for trying. Spike had made his choice; they were over.

"Just a bridesmaid," she said a bit too cheerfully. "Have fun!"

Spike stared at her, mouth hanging open, as Buffy quickly sidestepped the couple and ran as fast as her dress would allow her to. It was a good thing she still had the makeup bag; she would be needing it.

< --- >

Spike took a seat, waiting for the ceremony. Oh, give it up! You're waiting for her, and you know it. You sent that little hooker home, because the only girl you want is a certainblonde that can rip your heart to pieces in more ways than one.

He almost growled. Damn her a thousand ways 'till next Sunday! She wasn't allowed to do this to him! SHE'D stopped everything. SHE'D killed whatever had been between them. Not him.

Then why was he feeling even lower than a muckraker?

Because you tried to make her jealous, you ponce. Worked real nice, didn't it?
The organ music began, and everyone turned to see the bridesmaids head up the aisle. Spike bit his lip. He was NOT going to turn, he was NOT going to...

Oh bugger it. He knew he was going to. He steeled himself for a glance at ALL the girls (not just her, mind), and at the sight felt his heart break.

All the bridesmaids were smiling, displaying their happiness for the happy couple. All, that is, except one. Buffy stared straight ahead, trying to smile as her bottom lip quivered. Her face was red and blotchy, and her eyes were puffy and filled with tears. Tears she refused to let fall.

He watched her take her place beside the altar, then saw her gaze drift over to him. She swallowed and turned away, traitorous tears leaking down her face. Spike could feel a few making their way to his chin, but he ignored them. All he wanted to do was run up and hold her. Comfort her. Instead, he had to be the one to cause her pain. He snorted through his blurred vision. No wonder she'd broken up with him.

Similar thoughts were running through Buffy's head as she tried to quietly wipe away her tears. Willow smiled at her, and Buffy smiled back. Her friend thought the tears were of joy. Her friend obviously didn't have ESP going for her.

She glanced up at Xander, who was watching with wonder as Anya made her way towards her. The look on their faces...Spike had offered her unconditional love, much like they were sharing. What had she done? Used him, abused him, and discarded him faster than last year's fashion.

As Xander took her hand, she could see herself and Spike walking to the altar, happy. In love. Being loved. Buffy had to cough to hide her sob. No one noticed, it seemed.
But someone had. And that someone's heart broke a little more at the sight of Buffy absolutely miserable, looking ready to break down and cry.

The two exchanged stolen glances when the other wasn't looking throughout the entire ceremony. Both were beginning to look almost as bad as they felt, and Tara had to loan Buffy a handkerchief when the demon minister said 'Till death do you part'. Spike had managed with the sleeve of his duster.

The demon minister had gotten to the 'I do's' when there was a pounding on the door. All heads whipped to the back of the room.

Dawn frowned. "All the guests arrived," she whispered, glancing over at Buffy.

Buffy nodded. Trouble it was then. "Keep the ceremony going," she managed to say in a clear voice. She headed down towards the door as roaring began.

"Be careful," Willow called, fidgeting nervously.

At the sound of another roar, Buffy decided to take a weapon. She looked around, her eyes falling on a floor candle holder. Long, heavy...it would do in a pinch.

She turned towards the door, a grim smile on her face. "You picked the wrong Slayer on the wrong day, buddy," she muttered. All her feelings she'd tried to keep pent up were beginning to leak out, and she knew how to make herself feel a thousand percent better.
She whipped the door open, then quickly stepped through and shut it behind her. Dawn ran over and locked the door behind her sister, turning to smile at the guests.

"Don't worry! She does this sort of thing all the time. She's a pro. Continue, please?"

Spike frowned, listening to the grunts from the other side of the door. Pro or not, there was something nasty on the opposite side. There had to be.

Because most of those grunts were coming from her.

< --- >

As soon as Buffy had shut the door, she'd realized that she was possibly out of her league. After the first couple of hits, she'd known that she was out of her league. She'd managed to deal a few blows herself, but her vision was beginning to blur, and it wasn't from tears anymore. Something was sliding down her face, and she was pretty sure that it was also sliding down her abdomen. What the hell was she fighting, anyway?

The demon was about nine feet tall, and it bore a similar resemblance to the troll Anya had turned her ex-lover into. Obviously, someone else had received wrath at her hands, and had decided to make her life miserable as well. He could've just sent a 'I hate you' card; it would've been easier on Buffy.

Buffy gasped and fell to the ground, tears running down her face. Okay, when had been the last time she'd cried from pain? Damn, this hurt!

The demon growled and headed for the doors again. "No!" she yelled, jumping up with the last ounce of her energy. The demon pulled back his arm, aiming to hit the door.

He didn't need to open them; Buffy did it for him. The punch that had been meant to break down the doors hit her instead. She felt the briefest sensation of flying, before she connected with wood. She slid across the floor, screams reaching her ears. Great. She was back inside.

"Get them out!" she yelled, trying to push herself back up. The demon casually walked into the room, his eyes locking on Anya.

"ANYANKA!!" he roared, starting towards the ex-demoness.

"NOW!!!" Buffy screamed again, glancing around desperately for a weapon. Nothing.
Sounds of chairs being turned over and people running across the tiled floor echoed through the hall. "Just me and you," Buffy muttered, flexing her fingers.

The demon whipped its head around to her, and Buffy had to tell herself not to back up. He looked seriously brassed off, and she knew from experience that that was never a good thing.

As he started towards her, she reached down and tugged at the hem of her horrid dress. The material gave way, and left Buffy with a slit that extended to her thigh. Enough room to run around in. "Much better," she said out loud. If only the demon was going to be that easy.

Best to have the first blow. Buffy launched herself at the demon, only to be swatted away like a fly. She fell to the ground, gasping for air. She didn't stand a chance against the demon.

But the way it was looking towards the doors...no. She would not just stand by and let this thing at her friends, her sister, her lov...her mortal enemy.

Keeping them in her thoughts, Buffy flipped over and back onto her feet.

< --- >

Little did she know that one of the people hadn't gone into the sanctuary of the reception hall.

The moment the demon had thrown Buffy through the doors and onto the floor, Spike had felt his heart lurch. Her face bruised and bloodied, a pool of blood slowly leaking from her abdomen...

He'd seen to helping everyone get into a safe room, telling them to get ready to run if they weren't back in ten minutes with good news.

"Spike..."

Spike shook his head. "Don't argue, Bit. Sooner you're all safe and cozy, sooner I can get out and help big sis."

"Be careful," Dawn whispered as they closed the doors with a slam.

The slam had caused the demon to turn towards the doors, so Spike had quickly hid himself behind a pillar. He risked a peek to see Buffy jump to her feet, wincing as she did so. Was she daft enough to try and take on the demon by herself, no weapons?!

Apparently. She dodged a few more swipes from the demon, before rolling to get underneath him. She landed a kick to his groin, causing the demon to roar with pain. A point for the Slayer.

With incredible speed for someone of that build, the demon reached around and grabbed her by her throat. Buffy choked as she clawed at his hand, trying to get away.

Spike watched in horror as the demon lifted her from the ground a good ten feet. His grip on her throat never loosened, and Buffy began to lose consciousness.

"Let her go!!" Spike shouted, running out from the pillar. The demon turned to gaze down at the vampire, still keeping the Slayer in his death grip.

All Buffy could hear was a whooshing noise in her ears as her air supply was cut off. She began to feel light-headed and sleepy, and before she knew it, she'd closed her eyes.

Spike watched her eyes shut with increasing terror. "I said, let her GO!!" he yelled.

The demon growled, before spinning his arm to launch Buffy away from him. She slammed against the wall and slid down to the floor, leaving a blood trail behind her.

Spike stared at her, ready to throw up at the sight of her. There was so much blood...where he once would've laughed and feasted, he now stared with horror and sickness.

He couldn't stare for long, however, because the demon was still there. He ducked one blow, before taking another and being sent hurtling across the room.

"How much you bench press? Ten, twelve hundred tons?" Spike growled. His eyes widened as he caught sight of something outside, just near the doors. The floor candlestick holder Buffy had taken with her. It was now broken in two, no doubt from the giant stepping on it. What had been an ornamental device for lighting rooms was now a perfect weapon with a jagged edge on the broken side. For once, things were going his way.

A thump had him turning, and then quickly moving towards the weapon. The demon had started his way.

He reached the broken metal rod and wrapped his hand around it, getting a good grip. One well-aimed throw, and this demon was a footnote in history.

He blinked, and suddenly he was ten feet away, and back inside. Demon Giant must've caught up with him. No matter; he could still throw the rod from here, and still land it between the demon's eyes. Wait. Where was the rod?

Spike glanced down at his right hand, then further to the right. Halfway across the room lay his only chance of victory. He cursed, then began to run towards it. Or at least, tried to run.

He gasped and clutched at his chest, where the demon must've hit him. Clutching at the injury, Spike kept going, his eyes on the weapon. He was almost there...

He almost cried when he fell to the ground and felt himself being pulled back. Dammit! He couldn't let this thing win. He had to slay the demon, be proclaimed the hero (yeah right), and then talk to Buffy. Buffy, who may very well be dead. There'd been so much blood...

With a roar Spike extended his arm, reaching towards the pole. His fingers barely touched it, but they touched. He flicked the weapon towards him, and spun around just in time to shove the pointed edge through the demon's head. He gurgled, before his body sagged against the pole, dead.

Spike threw the corpse off and pulled himself up. As fast as he could, he ran towards the broken body of Buffy. Had it only been twenty minutes ago that she'd been crying,clutching her small bouquet with enough power to crush it?

He slid to his knees and turned her over, inhaling sharply at the sight. Blood everywhere, with bruises circling her neck.

"Buffy," he said softly, reaching towards her wrist. He almost jumped back, but forced himself not to panic. It had to be there...

He sighed with relief when he felt her heart beat. Slowly, and barely there, and very weak. But it was still there. That was all he cared about.

"Buffy," he repeated, pulling her up against him. "Wake up, luv. Please..."

Her body sagged against his, and she was so pale, oh so pale. She'd lost so much blood, and it still kept flowing through his fingers...

"Spike?"

Spike glanced over his shoulder, seeing Willow's eyes widen as she caught sight of both of them. "Oh goddess," she breathed.

"Is she breathing?" Xander asked, running towards his fallen friend.

Spike could only nod.

"Wills, call 911." Willow merely turned and began to run towards a phone.

Xander stared at the almost comatose vampire, before tentatively placing a hand on his shoulder. "She's gonna be okay, Spike. I promise."

Spike blinked, gazing at the young man with bewilderment. He finally gave Xander a pained smile, before saying, "Sorry 'bout the weddin'."

Xander rolled his eyes. "I was expecting something a lot worse. Don't worry. Besides, we got married, and everyone's okay." At Spike's look, the young man offered him a smile. "She WILL be okay. She always is."

Spike found he couldn't say anything else, and remained silent, even after the ambulance arrived.

< --- >

Slowly Buffy opened her eyes, then promptly cringed at the light. Ow. Bright lights equals pain.

As she shifted in bed, she quickly found that the lights weren't the only thing that equaled pain. Her entire body hurt. She hadn't felt this bad in a long, long time.

And she wasn't even in her own bed. Glancing around, she found herself in very white surroundings. Had to be a hospital. She must've really taken a beating.

She tried to call out for help, but couldn't seem to get the words out. She tried once more, then choked on her dry throat. Okay, she'd go get help.

She pushed herself up, or at least, thought she did. Her muscles weren't working right, and Buffy couldn't believe that she was this weak, even with her Slayer powers. Tears of frustration and fright began to pool as she closed her eyes. The light hurt so much...
She was attempting to push herself up one more time when she heard a soft click, and the light pounding on her eyelids disappeared. Before she could open her eyes, something reached behind her back and pushed gently, helping her sit up. She glanced up, green eyes meeting blue.

"Spike?" she tried to say, but only managed to irritate her sore throat, producing no noise other than a squeak.

"Shhh," he crooned, propping her bed up so she could sit and lay at the same time. Once finished he turned, taking a seat next to her. "Don't try to talk. Doc says you probably shouldn't be doin' that for awhile."

She made a confused face, and Spike sighed. "Got hit awful hard at the weddin' three days ago. Demon took a lot out of you. You were touch and go for awhile there, pet."

Her eyes widened. Three days?! She'd almost died?!

He nodded at her surprise. "Yeah, stopped breathin' on the way to the hospital. They got you breathin' 'gain, and by then we'd arrived."

We? She thought. He rode to the hospital, just to see me? Her heart began to race at another thought. I didn't kill the demon. Is it dead? Are the others okay?

She glanced over at Spike, and decided to try and talk again. "Ot..." She closed her eyes, humiliated tears running down her face. She felt so helpless like this, and she absolutely hated it.

A hand touching hers had her opening her eyes again. Spike smiled at her, before saying, "Xander and Anya are leavin' for the honeymoon tonight. Doc said you'd be awake by today, so they changed the flight a bit. Wanted to make sure you were all right."

At her questioning look, Spike realized what she was asking. "Oh, the others. Everyone's fine. Only one that got the short end of the stick was you. Demon's dead, everyone's fine, s'all good."

Something on his forehead distracted her, and a closer look revealed a new wound that was healing. Slowly she forced her arm up, gently caressing the wound. She frowned, trying to convey through her eyes for him to tell her.

"Just a scratch," he said with a shrug. "Be all right, give or take a few days. Demon was a nasty."

Her frown quickly disappeared into a complete look of shock. He'd killed the demon?

But...but everyone had gone into the reception hall...hadn't they?

"You all right?" he asked, concerned. "Can get a nurse, if you want."

He was worried about her? Wait, what the hell was going on? There was only one possible answer, but Buffy didn't think it was possible. Not after everything she'd done.

"Buffy? Luv, give me some sorta sign that you're all right, please."

She blinked, bringing herself back to the present. She had to ask him, but she couldn't really talk at the moment. She took a deep breath, wincing as the movement jarred sore ribs. She could do this.

First she pointed at him, then made claws to signify the demon. Then, she made a fist and tapped it into her other hand.

Spike nodded before she'd even finished. "Yeah, I took care of the demon. Made one heavy carcass."

Buffy stared at him incredulously, before shrugging, looking confused.

Spike sighed. Great. "Well, it was a nasty bugger, and looked like it could give a good fight. And then there's savin' the humans, which might give me karma points or somethin'. Oh, and there's always a good fight...which I already said, didn't I?"

Buffy nodded.

"I just..." He hung his head, looking anywhere but at her. He couldn't bear getting shot down. Again.

A hand on his shoulder caused him to look up. Buffy placed her hands over her chest, a questioning look on her face. Me? It couldn't be, could it?

Spike merely nodded, smiling sadly at her. Who was he kidding? He'd done it all for her.
Buffy stared, before she reached forward and placed her hands on her shoulders. With one last stare into his eyes, she leaned forward and softly pressed her lips against his.
To say Spike was surprised would've been an understatement. He stared at her, before placing his hands over his heart, like she'd done moments before.

Buffy's vision began to mist as she nodded. He smiled, and she realized she'd gotten him back. This time, she wasn't letting him go. Nothing except death would part them. And even there, Buffy was sure they'd find a way around it.

THE END