Willow's parents had left for work after seeing that their daughter was all right, so only Tara and Giles met them at the hospital. Tara looked a lot better now than she had when Buffy had left, with a slight smile instead of tears on her face. The Scoobies were let into Willow's room one at the time. She was awake, though not talking much because she was drugged against the pain. Xander went first; he stayed there for quite a while, talking to her. He was doing most of the talk, of course. Anya went next; she only talked to Willow shortly. When she returned out and walked over to Xander, Spike, who stood next to Buffy, asked, "You want to go?"

She looked up at him, looking slightly lost since she'd been far away in her thoughts. "What? Uh no, you go. I'll do it last."

He shrugged and walked into the room.

"Hey Red," he said and sat down in a chair next to her.

"Hi," she answered in a small voice.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, although he knew was a dumb question.

"Okay..." Willow mumbled.

"Well, you know," he said, and continued with a twinkle in his eyes, "You need to get well again. Can't have you lying here being bloody lazy all day long, now can we?"

Willow gave him a slight smile.

"That's my girl," Spike said, "That's the Wicca I know."

He bent down and kissed her on her forehead. He didn't know why; he didn't know her all that well. But what he knew of her, he liked, and he regarded her as a friend.

"Buffy's coming in next, so don't fall asleep," Spike warned as he saw her yawn. "She's kinda upset, so you might need to calm her down."

He turned to leave, but Willow's quiet voice stopped him.

"Be friends with her again," she said quietly. "She wants that."

Spike stood staring at the redhead in the hospital bed for a second. Then he turned around and left the room without another word or showed emotion.

* * *

Buffy came home late that night. Giles drove her home from the hospital as Spike had already left by the time she was done talking to Willow. The time in Willow's room had been spent talking, as there wasn't much else they could do. Willow had assured Buffy more than once that it wasn't her fault that the car had hit her. It was the driver's fault and no one else's. Possibly her own, because she hadn't looked carefully enough, but Willow didn't say that, as it would probably, somehow, make Buffy think it was her fault anyway. It was hard enough as it was.

"But if I hadn't been so tired," Buffy had began again, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Buffy, you might be the Slayer but you're still human," Willow had answered her softly. "It is not your fault."

Finally, Buffy had believed it. More or less, at least. She still felt guilty, but not as much as before. And that night, Buffy still dreamed of Willow in front of a big black car, hitting her, throwing her to the ground. Buffy herself was in the dream set in chains, having to watch it over and over again. She woke up again and again, sweaty and screaming.

* * *

It was a week before the doctors agreed to let Willow out of the hospital. Her broken legs were both in casts, as was her arm, and she was sitting in a wheel chair. Her face and different body parts were still covered with band-aids, but she was out of the hospital, at least.

"Let's hope nothing bad that requires a great lot of magic shows up now," Xander said, as they all were gathered in the Magic Box. Buffy and Giles were taking a break in her training, Anya was behind the counter, Tara was helping her girlfriend with anything and everything, and Xander was sitting at the table making comments about everyone at the same time as he was attempting his homework.

"Hey," Willow said, "You still have one fine witch" - she pointed at Tara - "and I'm not totally out of it. I can still - still do - uh - stuff."

"We're just glad you're out," Buffy said, smiling, thinking that maybe her nightmares would go away now. She had had them all week, and she wasn't getting any good sleep because of them.

"Yeah, we know you're not all out of it," Xander smiled. "Just teasing, you know."

"So, who's coming with me patrolling tonight?" Buffy asked, changing the subject. "I mean not that you have to," she added quickly.

"Sure we do," Xander said, "There are way too many bad demons out there for only the Slayer to take on. She'll need her friends."

Still, she ended up going alone. Xander's father had called and said he had to come home and actually do his homework, threatening that he otherwise he'd be grounded for two whole weeks. At this, Xander had packed up fairly quickly, and said good bye to them all, including and annoyed Anya, who didn't want Xander to leave.

When Buffy was about to leave, Willow had exclaimed, "But now you're going alone anyway."

"It's okay, Will, really," she'd answered. "And anyway, who'd go with me?"

She knew Tara wouldn't want to leave Willow's side, and besides, Tara wasn't a very good fighter. She was more of a thinker. Anya wasn't very good in battles either, so Buffy didn't mind not having her as company. That Giles would come with her patrolling was a joke, she though, imagining the older English gentleman staking vampires at twelve at night.

Yet, when she made her way over the cemetery, she felt oddly alone. She had done it billions of times before, why she all of a sudden didn't like it, she didn't know.

A vamp was coming her way, and it didn't take the bored Slayer long before she was surrounded by dust. Then came two more, and staking them didn't even make Buffy sweat. Finally, when everything seemed quiet, she decided to call it a night and made her way home.

* * *

February was speeding past them as all the members - except Giles of course - busied themselves with loads of schoolwork. All their teachers seemed to have gotten the same thought during the winter break: "Let's give the students all the homework and tests we can possibly come up with." Even Spike, who Buffy rarely saw do any homework, was working long hours in his room.

And he doesn't even have to care about his grades, Buffy thought with a sting of jealousy. No, in England they didn't count his year here, so he might just as well get 'F's in everything; his 'real' school wouldn't care.

Dawn was the only one in the Summers' household who wasn't busy. Instead, she sat giggling on the phone with her girlfriends till Buffy or Joyce screamed at her to hang up because they needed to call someone.

The phone rang and Buffy answered it. "Buffy Summers speaking," she said tiredly. She expected it to be one of Dawn's little friends again.

"Hi, sweetie, it's me," she heard her mother say. "Would you mind making dinner today, honey? I won't be home until later, so if you could see to it that Dawn gets something to eat too? Please?"

"Sure mom," Buffy answered her mother's plea. It wasn't the first time Joyce had worked over. Since their father had left, she had been working long and late hours at the gallery to get the money to last.

"Maybe you could have Spike help you," her mother added.

Was her mother blind or what? Buffy asked herself. Here she was; she hadn't talked to Spike - at least not in civil tone and at least not with him wanting to do it - for more than two months, and she suggested that he could help her make dinner. Jeez.

"Yeah, maybe," she said to her mom, not wanting to get into the subject of Spike over the phone.

"Then I'll see you later. I've got to run now; they're waiting for me. Bye, sweetie, I love you."

"I love you too, mom," Buffy said and put the phone down.

Now she had to add personal chef to the ever-growing list of things she had to do too? Of course, it had already been added to her list for quite some time. She had done dinners for Dawn, her and Spike at least ten or fifteen times already.

Sighing, she turned on the stove, wondering what she should come up with to eat tonight.

* * *

"I love that dress," Buffy commented, "It's the best one so far."

Willow turned around in the deep reddish brown dress, which fit snuggly to her body.

"Yeah, I think I should take it. It's only thirty bucks too."

"I definitely think you should take it."

The two girls were out trying on dresses for the Winter Formal dance. Willow was still not out of her casts, but she was on crutches at the moment, and by the time the dance took place on February twentieth, she would be walking on her own. Tara and her had decided to celebrate that Willow would be well again by going to the dance.

"Why can't you go too?" Willow whined. She had taken off the dress and put it on the counter to pay for it.

"Because I have no one to go with," Buffy answered.

"Then go with Spike," Willow said and picked up the bag that contained her dress. They started walking out of the store. "He's nice, and it is really about time you two stop fighting. You're not gonna have him at your place forever you know. He's going home in like four and a half month!" Her voice softened. "I know it seems like forever, but look how fast you've wasted these two months on fighting."

"If we're gonna be friends, he's going to have to take the first step," Buffy said firmly. "He was the one who got all upset when I said that kissing him was a mistake, not me."

Willow looked at her. "If you were in love with a person, don't you think you'd be upset if that person said that you were just a mistake too?"

Buffy's head shot up. "He's not in love with me," she said.

"Oh yeah? Then why does he give you all these looks when you don't see, why does he talk about you when you are not around, and why did he ask me to calm you down at the hospital?" She continued without waiting for an answer. "Because he cares about you. I admit, I don't know if he loves you yet, but he's definitely on the way there."

Buffy was silent; she didn't know how to respond.

"What - What does he say about me?" she asked finally.

Willow shrugged. "He asks how you are. You know, just a question here and a question there, just so it doesn't seem like he really cares. But I know he does, I can see it in his eyes."

Buffy looked at her friend. "But what am I supposed to do?" she asked. "He doesn't speak to me unless he has to; he even avoids being in the same room. How am I supposed to have conversation with him?"

"I don't know Buffy, you're going to have to figure that one out."

* * *

She really did try to get in the same room and talk to him after the conversation with Willow. But after failing once, her hopes went down, as he didn't want to listen to her.

"I don't have time for this; I've gotta go, Slayer," he had said and slipped out the front door.

She hated when he called her 'Slayer'. 'Pet' hadn't been that much better, but when he had called her that, there had been affection in the nickname. When he called her 'Slayer', it sounded cold and impersonal.

* * *

So the Winter Formal dance came and went. Xander and Anya ended up joining Willow and Tara, while Buffy settled for a night home with her mother and little sister and a movie, before going out to patrol.

Spike had gone; a pretty, tall blonde had met up with him at the house. Buffy wondered why he hadn't gone to pick her up. Maybe he wanted to show her that he could get some popular little lady to go with him if he wasn't good enough for her.

"Why are you mad, Buff?" Dawn asked her as they sat down to watch 'the 6th sense'. Buffy, who'd already seen the movie four times, sighed and said, "Nothing, Dawnie, nothing."

"I know what it is," Dawn exclaimed triumphantly. "You're jealous of that girl that Spike went with, 'cause you wanted to go with him."

Buffy didn't respond; she didn't feel like trying to explain to Dawn that her theory was wrong, as Dawn wouldn't stop believing in it even if Buffy said differently. Dawn herself had gotten over her crush on Spike by now, which Buffy was glad for, since she then didn't have to see Dawn become all moony-eyed over the bleach-blonde Englishman.

Their mother came in with popcorn and sodas for the two and it was time to pay attention to the movie.

* * *

"Atchoo!"

Xander sneezed. "Bless you," was heard from more than one person at the Magic Box.

"Xander, you getting sick?" Anya asked worriedly and came over and gave Xander a kiss.

"Well, if I was," Xander said gently, "Shouldn't you be taking shelter somewhere far away so that you don't catch it too?"

"Oh no, if I'm far away, I don't get sex," Anya responded.

"Anya!"

"What..."

But that sneeze was just the beginning of a flu-season that swept over all of Sunnydale in the beginning of March. Everywhere, people were falling sick, and in school, Buffy noticed that there were more than one student gone, and teachers too for that matter.

In the middle of it all, Joyce had to go away on a business meeting in Los Angeles for five days; it had been planned for weeks.

"Oh," she said on the Sunday morning before she left, "I feel so bad leaving. What if one of you gets sick?"

"Mom," Buffy answered, "You're going to LA, not the other side of the moon. Besides, we're not at any bigger risk to get sick now than we are normally. Right Dawn?"

Dawn nodded quickly. She was eager to see her mother go, since it was a long time ago since they had been home alone.

"Oh, okay then," Joyce said, "I'm going. By the way, where is Spike? I wanted to say good bye to him too."

"I'll go up and wake that sleepy head up once you're gone. Besides, he's a big boy; I'm sure he's okay without you giving him hugs and kisses good bye."

"All right then. Then I guess I'm ready."

"Want me to help you with the bags?" Buffy asked and grabbed one before her mother had had time to answer, and she put it in the car.

"Thanks Buffy. Sometimes it's good to have a super strong person around," she smiled. Then she gave both her daughters a kiss each, and she was off.

"And there she goes," Dawn said, waving after her mom. "Now I'm going over to Stephanie's. She wanted me to sleep over, is that okay?"

"Dawn! I thought you wanted to stay home now that mom isn't home," Buffy said.

"Well, I'll enjoy that the rest of the week. See you later!"

She dashed into the house, and before Buffy knew it, she was gone, the long dark ponytail swaying back and forth as she walked over to Stephanie's.

Buffy herself went into the house and made breakfast. It was ten thirty and she was enjoying a day without homework or Slayer training to the fullest. At twelve, though, Buffy wondered where Spike was. She still hadn't heard him get up.

It's not like I'm worried or anything, Buffy said to herself. He's fine. Like you said yourself, he's a big boy.

But just minutes later, she decided to go up and wake him up, since he generally didn't like to sleep to late even on the weekends. Before their fight, he'd told her that getting up late on weekends screwed up his whole body clock. She hadn't really understood what he meant - she loved sleeping, it was just that she didn't get to do much of it.

"Spike?" she asked, opening the door after knocking on it without answer twice.

Inside it was dark, but she could hear him breathing, and as her eyes adjusted, she saw the sleeping figure on the bed. Slowly and quietly, she walked over to him, and shook him lightly. Surprised, she picked her hand up. His skin was burning hot; he had a fever.

"Spike?" she asked again, shaking him a little harder. She couldn't help but notice the hard muscles hid under the covers.

"Get... off..." he muttered.

"Spike, it's me, are you awake?" She was getting worried.

"Slayer?" he asked, opening his eyes and looking at her.

"Yeah," she said, ignoring the fact that he called her Slayer. "How are you feeling?"

He didn't answer at first, then he said, "Cold... And a bloody headache too."

"I think you've got the flu," Buffy said, thinking back to what Anya had told her of Xander's short illness. "Just rest and I'll get you some water, you need to drink."

She pulled the covers tighter over him as he was trembling slightly and then went down to the kitchen to get water. She took a straw too, in case, and some aspirin.

"Here you go," she said giving him the glass once she was back in the room. "There are some aspirins too, for the fever and the headache."

He nodded, and used the straw to drink the water. Then he lay down and pulled the covers off him, muttering, "Hot..."

It was odd, Buffy thought, seeing him like this. She had no doubt that he wasn't fully conscious of what he was doing, because if he was, he wouldn't let her take care of him like he was at the moment.

As Spike fell back asleep, Buffy went downstairs and called Dawn at Stephanie's.

"Stay at Stephanie's till tomorrow Dawn, because Spike's got the flu and I don't want you to catch it," she told her baby sister. Her sister didn't object; she wanted to stay at Stephanie's.

After talking to Dawn, Buffy went back upstairs. Spike now lay shivering in bed, obviously freezing. She pulled his covers back up and held his hand gently. Then she got the idea that a massage might help him get warm, and ever so gently, she began massaging his back. He moaned. He was still shivering, but less than before.

It is weird, she thought, looking down at the young man on the bed. Though still trembling, he was relaxed. She could see the side of his face, so tender and beautiful, and she felt so bad for the way she - no, they, had treated each other over the last months. She hadn't truly allowed herself to miss him, but being this close to him all of a sudden made her feel bad. She pulled his covers up over him again, even though she knew that it would probably only be minutes before he felt warm again and kicked them off. She was leaving, although she could not quite bring herself to do so. She hesitated for a moment, then she bent down and gave Spike a quick kiss on the cheek and whispered, "I'm sorry."

That day and the next continued in the same way it had started; Buffy was playing nurse for Spike. Mostly, he slept, but then he was up and about, still with the fever running high. On Sunday morning, the English patient walked downstairs, then he sat down on the sofa and wouldn't get up and go to bed again, and Buffy had ended up carrying him up to the bedroom.

"Jeez, you're heavy," she sighed as she put the man down on the bed. Actually, he hadn't been that heavy, it was just that getting up the stairs with someone bigger than yourself was really not that easy.

Sighing again, she nursed him to some water, making him drink it in little, slow sips. Then, as he began trembling again, she gave him another massage; she'd found that helped him a lot.

"I'm good Slayer..." he muttered. "Don't need your... bloody... help."

"Sure, Spike," she answered him, still continuing the massage. She knew he was either dreaming or just plain imagining things, since his speech wasn't all that put together.

"Hello, I'm home," she suddenly heard Dawn from downstairs.

Buffy ended the massage, pulled the covers up on Spike and left the room. Downstairs, Dawn was taking her jacket off.

"Hi Dawnie," Buffy said with a tired smile.

"How's the patient doing?" Dawn asked, looking at the sister.

"He's fine, just... sick."

"Yeah, 'patients' usually are sick or hurt, you know," Dawn smiled. "He upstairs?"

"Uh hu, he's sleeping though. I just gave him a massage, so he would -"

"A massage?" Dawn asked incredulously. "Since when do you give him massages?"

"Since yesterday. It helps against the fever, I think."

"Right." Buffy could tell her sister didn't believe a word she was saying. "I'm going up to my room."

* * *

On Sunday night Buffy went out patrolling, just like she had the night before. She was tired though - on the other hand, when aren't I tired, she thought - and she was happy that she didn't meet more than three vampires.

The next morning, Spike's fever was finally going down, Buffy noticed happily. His body was no longer burning under her fingers, and when she peered in later during the day, he was actually awake and reading, though it seemed to be going slow.

Silently, she made her way in.

"Hi," she said nervously, stopping two or three feet away from his bed. "How are you feeling?"

He didn't respond at once; first he put away the book. "Fine," he then said.

"Uh... good. I have some more water for you; you still need to drink." She put the glass down on his bed stand.

"Thanks."

"Well then... I'll, uh, be leaving." Quickly, she turned around to leave, wanting to get out of this uncomfortable situation.

"Wait, Buffy," he called on her.

The fact that he was calling her by her name and not 'Slayer' made Buffy stop and turn around. The young man on the bed had an statement on his face, which held so many emotions: hurt, anger, sadness and hope.

"What is it?" she asked equally quiet.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, quietly, but she heard. She took a step closer to him and sat down on the side of the bed.

"I know," she said, "and I am too."

It felt strange to sit this close to him again, but not bad strange. It was a feeling of coming home again; knowing that she was getting back to someone she trusted. Because even after what had happened between them, she trusted him, totally and completely. He took her hand and held it lightly, still weak. She stroke his hair with her free hand, gently.

"So, are you feeling better?" she questioned him again.

"Yeah, lots better," he replied, and she knew he wasn't only talking about the illness.

* * *

The rest of the week without her mother went less eventful. Spike recovered and he and Buffy were talking with each other, so Buffy couldn't say that the flu had come only as a bad thing. She was grateful, though, that neither she nor Dawn had caught it, since Buffy didn't feel like playing either role, neither nurse again or the sick patient.

In school, she told Willow that Spike and her were friends again.

"Oh good," the redhead answered. "I thought you'd never speak to one another again."

"It's such a weird feeling," Buffy said, "These past two months feels like they didn't really happen."

"That's how it is with real friends," Willow insisted. "They fight and then forget. Like me and Tara."

"Yeah, but you're a couple, not just friends."

Willow looked at her meaningfully.

"No, no, Will, not going there," Buffy said, realizing what her friend was tending at. "That's what got me into this whole mess to begin with, the fact that I didn't have romantic feelings for him, and I didn't want him as a boyfriend."

"Uh hu," Willow said, still looking at Buffy with a smug smile on her face. "Then why do you talk about him all the time, even when the two of you were fighting? Come on, Buffy, you are attracted to him, I know it." She paused, then said, "I need to turn here, so I'll see you later. Think about what I said."

She turned into another corridor, while Buffy continued straight ahead.

Think about what I said, Willow had told her. How could Buffy not think about it? Since Spike had been sick, it seemed that he was the only thing she thought about. While slaying, while in class, while practicing with Giles, while eating and even in her dreams, he was the reoccurring character. And something within her asked, how long are you going to pretend? He is not going to be here forever, as Willow had pointed out earlier on. If anything, it was just closer to him leaving now. She knew that she was going to miss him when he left, all of him. His smile, his talk, their banter. The loving looks he sent her way every time they talked now.

You love him, and you know it, a voice told her. Act on it, or you'll regret it.

* * *

March was coming to its end, and Buffy could feel the days rushing past her. She hadn't done anything about her realization that she loved Spike for over a week; she was still working up the nerve. At nights, she was out patrolling, and Spike had once more started going with her, especially on the nights when the Scoobies couldn't.

The two were walking silently over the cemetery, the grass still wet from a recent rain. A vampire was strolling towards them, but as the creature saw the two, it turned around and fled into the woods. Buffy let it; there was no use in trying to catch it in the woods.

"What are you thinking of, pet?"

He had gone back to calling her pet, and she loved it. Feeling nervous, she answered quickly, "Nothing."

"That came to quick."

"No, really, it's nothing." I'm only thinking of you. She wanted to say it out loud, but didn't dare to. What if he didn't like her anymore? It had gone two months; maybe he had grown tired of her. She knew that he knew girls in the senior class - a couple of them had been by their house quite a few times - but none seemed to act as his girlfriend.

"C'mon, pet, something's bugging you," he irked.

She stopped and was just about to say something as a vampire came jumping out of a nearby bush. The vampire growled and threw himself forward.

"Do you mind?" Buffy asked angrily as she punched the vampire on the nose. "We're trying to have a conversation here. Ever heard of that?" The vampire yelled in pain as Buffy kicked him onto the ground and sat down on him. "No? Then I guess you'll never hear of it." She set the stake through his heart and the creature was dust.

As she stood up, she noticed Spike was chuckling. "And nothing's bugging you, pet? Try another one."

"I was going to tell you," Buffy said, feeling nervous again, "Before that dust pile interrupted."

"Oh really? Let's hear." He sounded amused.

"Spike, shut up." He fell quiet.

"You know," she began, "For someone who was lying sick and shivering in my hands just a week ago, you sure do have a lot of nerve." She paused, changing her tone. "I'm sorry for the way I hurt you, Spike -"

"No need to..." he interrupted.

"Quiet, please," Buffy begged. "I need to say this, without interruptions. I-I am sorry for the way I treated you and the way I obviously hurt you, and I'm sorry that I led you on to begin with. I didn't mean to." Spike was about to interfere again, but Buffy held up her hand to quiet him. "Seeing you every day, at home and in school, so angry with me that you wouldn't even look at me - it hurt me too. Jeez, I sound like someone from a really bad soap opera," she sniffled, suddenly having tears in her eyes. "Anyway. When you got sick, I felt really bad, and then, after we made up... Willow and I talked, you know... And she - she made m-me realize..." She couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to say the words.

"Made you realize what, love?" Spike asked, putting a warm hand on her cheek, making her look at him.

God, he has beautiful eyes, she thought, why didn't I ever notice before?

"That - that I might... l-love y-you," she whispered.

Tears were falling down her cheeks now, although she didn't know why. It wasn't sad; she was supposed to be happy!

She felt him put his arms around her, and saw him smile.

"Good, pet, because I just might be in love with you too," Spike said, before bending down and meeting her lips. It was just as soft and sweet and warm as she remembered it, but this time it was even gentler, because both knew what they were doing. He wasn't driven by pure lust this time and she, she knew she had made a choice. She was in love.

"Don't cry, love," Spike mumbled when they pulled apart. He stroke his hand carefully over her cheeks, wiping away tears.

"We should get out of here," Buffy said, though not letting go of Spike. "It's not the world's most romantic place," she continued, pointing at the tombstones and grinning slightly.

She had done it. She had told Spike that she was in love with him, and it felt so good. It was odd how things could change so suddenly. But maybe it hadn't been sudden at all. She had known him for almost eight months by now, and their relationship had changed a lot, going back and forth between hate and love. She could hardly remember what her life had been like before he had come to their house.

* * *

Being in love was the best feeling on earth, Buffy decided a couple of days later. The feeling of just being surrounded by love was amazing, like candy for her soul. Her friends noticed a change in her behavior too, saying that she seemed happier suddenly. Tara was the one who had established that she was in love, by seeing the change in her aura.

"Your a-aura is all pink and fuzzy," she'd told Buffy. "Are you i-in love?"

They had been at the magic box. Tara, Willow and Giles had been there, and Anya behind the counter. All four looked incredulously at her, Willow with a big grin.

"So, you told him?" the redhead had asked her.

Buffy had nodded, blushing. "Yeah, I did. Last night, when we were out patrolling."

"Cool," Anya had yelled, "Have you had sex yet?"

"Anya!" all four had cried. Buffy had gone even redder, thankful that no customers had been in the store at the time.

"So, you're t-together now?" Tara had asked, smiling a little.

"Yeah, I guess we are," Buffy had smiled back at her. She was happy.

The gang had reacted positively at the fact that Buffy now had a boyfriend, and they had all agreed that Spike was the best one she could have chosen. Giles was the only one who was slightly concerned, saying that, "Well, he is going back to England in just a couple of months, so I hope you know what you are doing."

"I'm not sure I know what I'm doing, Giles," Buffy had told him, "But I am happy with him, so just be happy for me, okay?"

Her Watcher had nodded and agreed. She could tell, he was happy for her.

* * *

It was probably because of Spike, Buffy guessed, that time seemed to speed up even more now. The hours in school seemed as long and tedious as ever, but it was the weeks that just tended to sweep by. April had gone by without any problems, another hundred vampires staked - she guessed - and thankfully no apocalypse seemed to be coming at them. No, instead of doing research about some horrible monsters, Buffy spent her time with Spike. They didn't sleep together, because Buffy didn't feel completely ready for it, and Spike - though maybe frustrated by the fact - understood and kept to sensitive, hot, sweet kisses instead.

"You know," he told her, "I might just be the happiest man on earth."

She giggled and kissed him, and he held her tight. "I love you," she whispered.

He buried his face in her hair holding her happily. "I love you too."

* * *

So her life went on. She had gotten used to it all by now, living with her mother and sister and not her father around. Therefor, she got the shock of her life when she came home from school one afternoon in the beginning of May, and her father sat on the couch in the living room with a suitcase by his feet.

"Dad!" she exclaimed, stopping dead in her tracks.

"Um... Hi Buffy," he said tentatively.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked angrily, forcing herself to get over the shock of seeing him for the first time in months.

He didn't answer, he just looked uneasy.

"Get. Out. Of. Here."

"Buffy, please..."

"Don't go Buffy-ing me! You left like five months ago, and you haven't even called since, so don't come here and try to be the father again! Get out!"

She stormed off to her room, not wanting to see her father anymore. When she got to her room, she threw herself on the bed. Downstairs, she could hear Dawn come in about half an hour later, and her sister had an almost identical response to seeing her father again that Buffy had had. She yelled at him, Buffy could hear, and then she told him to go away. But instead of storming off to her room, Buffy heard the front door slam shut and she knew Dawn was heading for some friend of hers.

Buffy stayed in her room the rest of that afternoon, her door shut.

* * *

"Buffy?"

"Go away, Spike," Buffy told the person on the other side of the door.

As usual, her boyfriend didn't listen to her, and the door opened. She sat up and looked miserably at him. He came in and sat down on her bed, and held her close. Suddenly, Buffy started crying.

"How could he do that to me?" she sobbed. "How could he come back after all this time?"

"I don't know, love," Spike answered quietly, stroking her golden hair gently. "But he obviously wants to talk to you."

"Well, I don't want to talk to him," Buffy answered, leaning back so that she could look at Spike. "He left; he's not part of my life anymore."

"Buffy, love, he will always be part of your life, because he's your father. A sodden poofter he is, but he's still your dad."

"He was my dad. He stopped being one when he left. Spike, he hasn't even called! How can I ever forgive him for what he did to mom, and for what he did to Dawn and me?"

"I don't know, love, but somehow I think you need to try, because keeping all that hate inside can't be any good for anyone. You don't need to take him back into your life if you don't want to, just know that you're over hating him for leaving."

Buffy looked at him, her eyes still red from crying. "Since when have you become so smart?"

"Hey, I've always been smart, that you just didn't look bloody close enough before is not my fault," he said in a joking tone.

"Don't blame me for that, you were the one who put on the image of, 'the peroxide bleached my hair and melted my brain', not me."

"Now I'm hurt."

She giggled at his statement, where he tried to mix hurt and smiling in one. She kissed him. "Thanks for always being able to make me smile," she whispered.

"You're welcome. Now, should we go downstairs and face the wanker that is your father together with the Nibblet and your mum?"

"Yeah, let's do that."

* * *

They sat down like the last time they had all been together, with a few changes. They were sitting in the living room instead of around the kitchen table. Also, Buffy refused to let Spike out of sight, so he stayed, although he wasn't saying much.

To begin with, no one had said anything, then Hank had started explaining what had happened.

"I-I went to Palm Springs with - her."

"Do I have to listen to this?" Buffy muttered angrily, but she felt Spikes hand on her arm and she calmed down.

"She - she had an apartment there, so we lived there, mostly."

Joyce sat facing her ex-husband, staring at him. No other feeling than disbelief was apparent on her face.

"She kicked me out, yesterday," he told his former family.

Buffy and Dawn started talking at the same time, both screaming versions of, "And you went back here and hoped we would take you back?!"

Their mother finally quieted them, and said to Hank in a slow, low voice. "I don't know what planet you are from," she started, "if you think that you can leave, divorce me, for some stupid little blonde, and then come back to me when she has thrown you out."

She stood up, but Buffy's father cried out, "Joy, please..."

Joyce turned around again. "If the girls want to talk to you, then they are free to do so. As far as we go, we are as over as a couple can be. Good bye, Hank."

Buffy looked from her standing mother to her father, who was sitting with his head in his hands. Joyce left.

"Dad?" Dawn asked.

"Yes sweetie?"

"Don't call me that," Dawn said, her voice cold like ice. "Why did you come back?"

"Be-because I love you -"

"You know," Dawn interrupted, "You have a really weird way to show it. Leaving your family for five months usually doesn't cut it. I loved you, you know. I really, really loved you."

She followed her mother's footsteps and left. Only Spike and Buffy were left in the room, both staring at the man in front of them.

The man that once was my father, Buffy thought sadly. Another thought hit her.

"It wasn't the first time you had an affair, was it?" she asked coldly.

Hank's head shot up and guilt was written all over his face. "I remember," Buffy continued, "You and mom were fighting, when I was little. More than once. You left sometimes, and didn't come back until days later."

"Buffy, I'm sorry -"

"Save it. Spike here made me realize that I have to let it go and go on with my life." She kissed Spike's cheek.

"You - you aren't together, are you?" Hank stammered.

"Good guess, dad." She added the 'dad' with sarcasm in her voice. "We've been together for a month and counting."

"But - He's no good for you! He is rude and -"

"Since when is that your concern? I think I stopped counting your opinion sometime around November or December - yeah, right when mom told us you'd been having an affair. You have no say whatsoever of who I should date or not. C'mon, Spike."

She stood up and was on her way out of the room, but turned around and said her last words to her father. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

* * *

Flowers kept coming to her mother, but Joyce threw them in the trash, because every single one had a card attached to it that said, "I'm sorry." Buffy knew her mom was miserable, even more so now it seemed than the previous five months. Why, she didn't know, but she was.

Finally, one night when Buffy was getting herself ready for a night out with her friends, a thought hit her.

"Mom," she said as she made her way into the kitchen.

"Yes, Buffy?"

"Me and Spike are going Bronzing tonight, you wanna go with us?"

Joyce turned around and smiled slightly. "That's a nice idea but -"

"No buts. Come on, it will be fun!"

Her mother looked down at herself. She was dressed in sweatpants and a loose tee shirt. "But I don't have anything to wear," she said.

"Oh, I'm sure we can find something. Come on," Buffy begged.

"Oh all right," Joyce said. "I guess it's time I got out of here anyway, right?"

"Yeah. Let's go!"

* * *

An hour later, Buffy, Spike and Joyce entered the Bronze. Joyce looked a little unsure, saying, "Maybe this isn't such a good idea after all..."

"Oh, mom, don't be such a bore. Look, there are the others!" She pointed over at the table where Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya and to her surprise also Giles were sitting. They made their way over there.

"Hi ya guys, having fun?" Buffy asked.

"Hi Buffy, hi Spike," Willow said. "Joyce!" she then exclaimed. "Fun that you could come!"

"Well, we just ordered drinks," Xander said, smiling, "So you might want to do that too."

"Oh good idea," Buffy said.

"So what b-brings you here, Mrs. Summers?" Tara asked shyly.

"I decided that it was time for her to get out some," Buffy answered. Joyce just smiled and sat down next to Giles. The two older people started talking, although Buffy couldn't hear what they were saying over the loud music.

"C'mon," she said to Spike. "Let's go dance."

The night was a total success, Buffy thought happily, lying in her bed later at night. Her mother and Giles had left earlier than the younger group, but they had left together, so Buffy wasn't too worried. Spike, her and the other Scoobies had kept on dancing, talking and laughing together until two at night. It had been one of the better Bronzing nights in a while, Buffy thought.

* * *

"Ugh, why do we have to have finals?" Xander whined. "It's another month to go, but the teachers are giving us homework and tests like - I don't know..."

"Well, you have another month before your finals," Willow responded, "But my AP classes have their finals next Wednesday."

"But Will, after that, you're like off, you don't have to do anything."

"Then why don't you take AP courses, Xan?" Buffy asked. She smiled. "If they are so easy..."

"Ha, ha, very funny. See how I'm not laughing?"

"Take it easy, Xander," Willow said. "You will survive the homework and the tests, and you will do good in the finals, and then we will all be seniors next year."

"Talking of which," Buffy said, "Are any of you going to the graduation?"

"If someone gets me tickets," Xander said. "You going?"

"Of course! Spike is gonna get me, mom and Dawn tickets, and I'm sure he can get you some if you want to go too."

"Okay, sounds like fun," Willow smiled. "I haven't been to a high school graduation in such a long time."

"And to think, next year, we'll be in it," Xander grinned. He definitely liked the thought of getting out of high school.

* * *

But of course, the Scoobies wouldn't be allowed to just study for their tests and finals on their own, without having something else hanging over their heads. Giles gathered them all up at the Magic Box, only days later, to tell them that something was up.

"There has been an decrease in the vampire activity," Giles told them. Buffy nodded; it was her who had made Giles aware of the fact. "I think it has to do with the Carishou, which will take place next Saturday. I believe they are preparing for it."

"The Cari-what-did-you-say?" Buffy asked, having never heard of the name.

"The Carishou. It is when five planets of the solar system lines up, and this one is particularly strong because the lined up planets are the five closest to the sun."

"What happens then?" Anya asked, worriedly.

"Well," Giles said, "If I read these books correctly, then at dusk, at the moment the sun disappears beyond the horizon of the Hellmouth, there will be an opening in it. This - this opening will give anyone who steps into it and back out on Earth at the exact right moment powers beyond imagination. He or she, who then will have spent time in Hell, will be ruled by darkness, but continue to live on earth. If a vampire goes in, the vampire will become completely immortal. And," he added, "Anyone the person - demon - touches will be given of the powers too."

As he stopped talking, he looked into five dumbfounded faces.

"So you're saying," Xander said, "If a vampire - or worse, some huge demon - succeeds in this, they can like start their own super race, which will never die?"

Giles looked uneasy. "Right."

"Bloody hell," Spike swore, realizing what that would mean.

"What can we do to stop it?" Buffy asked.

"We have to figure out where the opening will be, and be there to stop anyone from going into it," Giles replied.

"If - If a human goes into the portal?" Tara wondered quietly. "What will happen?"

"Same as for a demon, I believe," Giles said. "Ruled by darkness. The books aren't that clear on it all, though."

The Scoobies nodded their heads, all trying to take in the information.

"I guess it will be research night tonight," Anya sighed. "No sex."

"Anya!"

* * *

It was Saturday at two in the afternoon, only hours until the Carishou would take place. Buffy paced back and forth over the living room floor, while the others were collecting weapons.

"You all right, pet?" Spike asked her and put his arms around her.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little nervous," she responded, grateful for having his arms around her. They wouldn't be around her much longer, she thought sadly. He was leaving in only seven weeks.

"You know we'll make it today, don't you?" he wondered. "We won't let anyone or anything go through that portal, okay?"

"I know, Spike, I know." She smiled at him.

* * *

Willow and Tara were the one's who had figured out - with magic of course - where the portal would appear. Buffy, Spike, Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya headed over there at five in the afternoon, still with another three hours to sundown.

They reached a big cave, and Tara said, "It-it should be in there."

"Of course, there'd be vampires," Buffy muttered at the two standing guard outside the cave opening. To her friends she said, "Hide, I'll take care of them." Then she strolled casually over to the two ugly demons. "Hello, boys," she said in a sugary tone.

The two vampires moved closer to her, game faces on.

"You must be two naughty boys," Buffy continued, "To be beat so badly so you look like that."

With that, the two vampires threw themselves on the little Slayer, but she dodged them and kicked one in the stomach, making him fly over into the cave wall. She cart wheeled over to the other one and staked him before he knew what was going on. The one by the cave side moaned and tried to get up, but Buffy was there with the stake through his heart within a second. "You shouldn't get up, you look hurt," she said before the vampire turned to dust.

She called out to her friends. They came over and the group entered the opening, as the portal they were looking for would be somewhere inside. The ground was greasy, and they slipped several times as they were walking down, further and further into the grotto.

"Why do these things always have to take place in such annoying, icky places?" Willow wondered as she slipped for the third time. Spike grabbed her before she fell, and the redhead gave him a thankful look.

"Well, it's better than having it in some big fancy house where we'd have to break in to get there, don't you think?" Buffy asked with a slight smile, trying to cheer the others up.

It was totally dark where they were walking now, with the exception of the magic light Tara and Willow had produced. As they got further in, though, they heard voices, and Buffy whispered to the Wiccas to turn the light off. They did so, and the gang crept on.

The cave opened up into a big underground chamber, lit up by thousands of swaying lights, Buffy noticed. The chamber was filled with creatures, demons of all kinds, from big ugly trolls to a sloppy green creature, which looked like a great worm, to a little flying dragon who kept blowing fire at all the others in there. There were also several vampires, strutting around the room.

"What's the plan now?" Buffy asked quietly. "Where will the portal be?"

"Over there, if we're right," Willow whispered and pointed at the right corner. "Right where that vampire in black is standing."

Buffy nodded. The vampire stood by himself, with a smug smile on his face. While many others in the room still seemed to be looking for exactly where the portal would appear, this one seemed sure that he was in the right place.

"Okay," Buffy whispered. "Spike, Anya and Xander will create a diversion. You two," she said to the Wiccas, "Will go with me over to where the portal will hopefully be. That guy has to go away. Once he's staked, you will do your magic and hinder anyone from getting into the portal. Everyone understands? It is just fifteen minutes until sundown, so we will have to work fast."

The Scoobies nodded and the plan was put in place.

Spike ran out first, axe in his hand and began slashing the demons. Xander and Anya followed quickly afterwards, and soon, there was chaos in the chambers. Xander dusted a vampire, but before he could react, a big troll picked him up by his hair and threw him into the wall, rendering him unconscious. In the meantime, Buffy and the Wiccas were making their way over to the vampire in black, them too dusting vampires and slaying demons on their way.

"Iiih," Buffy heard Tara scream. A big slimy monster had picked her up in its hand, and the witch was fighting hard to get out of its grip.

"Release!" Willow screamed, her eyes dark. Immediately, the monster let Tara go, and just stood there, thunderstruck. "He's momentarily paralyzed," Willow said, "But it will stop working soon. Let's go." She grabbed Tara by the arm and helped her up.

"Thanks," Tara whispered to her girlfriend.

"C'mon," Buffy said. The minutes were ticking away, and they were still only halfway to the vampire in black.

In the corner of her eye, Buffy saw Spike fight against a red, eight feet tall demon with claws. Spike had angry red gashes over his chest, and his face was beaten, but he was still standing up, at least. She couldn't think of that at the moment; she had to get to the portal.

Finally, she leaped forward, her way clear to where the vampire in black was. He saw her and smiled an evil grin.

"Welcome, my dear," he said to Buffy.

Buffy didn't respond; she just aimed a kick at him. He dodged easily, and threw a punch at her. She dodged it and ran around him, attempting to take him from the back. But he swirled around and moved to the side, and she kicked into thin air.

Willow and Tara had lost Buffy, and were now fighting for their lives together with Anya, among ugly demons, which were all taller, bigger, and stronger than them.

"Stupefy!" Tara and Willow yelled together at one demon after the other, leaving them still, staring out with empty looks.

Spike stood over the body of the eight feet tall monster he had just killed with his axe. He was panting, and hurting from the wounds on his chest. Suddenly, he saw Buffy fighting against a vampire in the corner. Buffy was having trouble, he could see it even from where he was standing. Quickly, before any other demon had had time to register that he didn't have anyone to fight with, he began making his way over to her.

"You're not very strong, Girl," the vampire told Buffy and punched her one more time in the face.

He had cornered her; behind her was only the cold stone wall. He took out a knife from a belt in his clothes, and asked her, "Any last words?" The knife was by her breasts, the point touching her shirt. Suddenly, she was trembling with fear.

"Here are some last words," Spike said all of a sudden and the vampire whirled around. Spike drove the stake through the vampire's chest immediately. "See you in hell."

"Spike!" Buffy said happily, but before she could continue, she noticed the chaos around her. And in front of her, a bright light had begun shining. The portal she though, quickly checking her watch. It was exactly on time.

Suddenly, all of the room's creatures noticed the portal, and they were all rushing towards it. Tara and Willow were screaming spells to keep the different demons away, but Buffy and Spike had to fight for their lives anyway, as demons of all sizes and forms were getting past the Wiccas.

Buffy slayed for all that she was worth, sending creature after creature to hell. Behind her, the portal was glowing with a light so bright Buffy couldn't watch it. It helped her though; it blinded some of the creatures coming at her.

A demon jumped at her, and she fell backwards. She was only inches from entering the portal herself, and she rolled the creature that was sitting on her to the side, getting away from the portal.

Then suddenly it shut.

All the light disappeared from the cave, and total darkness came instead. Buffy grabbed Spike, who she knew had been just right beside her, and told him, "Let's go."

The two could hear Willow and Tara chanting some feet away, and suddenly, there was a blast, which threw Spike and Buffy to the ground. He shielded her, holding her so she landed on top of him.

"What happened?" Buffy asked and stood up.

No answer. In fact, everything in the cave was deadly quiet.

"Spike?" she asked tentatively. "Willow? Tara?"

"Light!" It was Willow.

A fire started in midair, half way to the ceiling in the cave. Suddenly, Buffy could see what the blast had done.

Around her, all the demons of the room lay dead. Not one demonic creature was moving anywhere. In the middle of the room, Willow and Tara was standing, slight smiles on their faces. Buffy looked down at her feet, where Spike lay.

"Oh god..." she whispered. Spike's face was deadly pale, and blood was sipping out from the back of his head. "Spike? Spike, come on... You can't be..."

She took his pulse. There was one, a faint but steady one. He wasn't dead. Without thinking much more of it, she picked him up in her arms, biting her lip as he groaned of pain.

"Willow?" she said, getting her friend's attention. Willow came running over to her. "He's hurt," Buffy said, "We need to get him to a hospital."

Willow nodded, "X-Xander too. Anya is with him. Come on, let's go."

So they made their way out over the dead bodies and dust from the demons. Anya and Willow were helping each other carry Xander, while Buffy held Spike close. Tara kept the light above their heads going, helping as much as she could.

* * *

Why do hospitals always seem so cold? Buffy wondered, sitting in the waiting area in the emergency room. Beside her sat Willow, Tara, Giles and Joyce. They had called the two grownups as soon as they had come to the hospital. The two had come immediately, and Joyce had phoned Spike's father in England.

Anya was in the room with Xander, and the couple came out an hour later. Xander's head was wrapped in bandages and his arm was in a cast.

"Have I mentioned how much I hate trolls?" he asked jokingly as he came out. He had a tired statement on his face.

"Xander, do you want me to take you home?" Giles asked, as Anya didn't drive and Xander wasn't allowed to at the moment.

Xander nodded, and Giles left with Xander and Anya. "I will be back soon," he promised.

So it was back to waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Buffy hated waiting more than anything else. She felt so helpless, and she didn't like being helpless. Helpless equals weak, she thought, and I have to be strong for him. Spike. She had never felt worse than when carrying his unconscious body up from the cave. Why had it happened? she asked herself. He was trying to protect me, just like he always is. What if he dies now? What if he doesn't make it? I'll never get to hear him say 'bloody hell' again. Or hear him crack another dumb joke. Or kiss him. Or hold him...

She didn't notice the tears that were falling down her cheeks. None of her friends said anything, which she was happy for, because if they had, she wouldn't have been able to reply.

Finally, the doctor came out. It was hours since they had gotten in, hours since they had last heard anything about Spike.

"Mrs. Summers?" the doctor asked Buffy's mother.

"Yes." Buffy walked over there too.

"How is he?" she managed to ask between tears.

"Not good, I'm afraid. William has lost a lot of blood, and is at the moment in a coma, caused by a bad concussion. He also punctured one lung because of several broken ribs and he had lots of bruises all over. We have done everything we could, but now it is only to wait and see. The next twenty-four hours will be critical."

Buffy held her head in her hands and sobbed. Joyce hugged her, and at long last, Buffy asked, "Can I see him?"

"I guess you could," the doctor replied. "As long as you just sit in there."

Buffy nodded, not able to speak another word. A nurse over led her to his room, but when she saw him in there, through the window, she wondered if it hadn't been better not to see him. Yet, she opened the door and made her way in.

Outside the room, there had been lots of noise and people running around, but inside, it was completely quiet, apart from the machine that registered his pulse with high pitched beeps, and the wheezing sound from the tube that supplied Spike with oxygen down his throat.

"Hi Spike," she breathed. "It's me, Buffy." She sat down on one of the chairs by the bed and took his right hand in both hers. She started talking again. "You know, you can't just lay here. It's not good for you, and it's definitely not good for me. I've been crying you know. Oh, what am I talking about, I'm still crying," she said, wiping the tears away from her cheeks. "Sorry, I shouldn't talk about me. I guess it always about me... You're lying here because of me... Because you saved me..." She looked down, sobbing. "I love you so much, you know... I've never loved anyone else like I love you... You're my whole life, my everything. Please don't die from me... Please..."

She couldn't talk any longer. Words failed her, and she just sat there, his hand in hers, stroking it gently, tears still falling from her eyes. Finally, she cried herself to sleep. She didn't know how long she slept there, it felt like only minutes, but it must have been hours, because when she woke up, the sun was rising outside.

She looked up at her boyfriend. His face and chest were bruised, and though he was well bandaged up, she could still see the swollen, purplish skin underneath.

"Hey Spike," she said softly, wanting nothing but to touch him, and have him touch her back. "It's morning, time to get up, you know."

The door opened and her mother with Dawn in tow came in.

"Hi Buffy," Joyce said, hugging Buffy. "You should go home, sweetheart. You look tired."

"I'm not leaving until he wakes up," Buffy told her mother, who found it unnecessary to argue, since she knew she wouldn't win.

"How is he?" Dawn asked shyly, coming forth to where Buffy was sitting.

"I-I don't know," Buffy said, fresh tears burning behind her eyelids. But she held them back, because crying wouldn't get Spike back.

Her mother continued speaking, but Buffy was not awake and aware enough to care. She stared at the young man in the bed, and suddenly -

"Spike?" Buffy whispered. He had moved, she was sure of it. Not much, but that didn't matter. She held his hand tighter, though careful not to hurt him more. "Come on Spike, you can do it, you can do it..."

She saw him move again, and she continued speaking to him, as he seemed to react to it. "Come to me, sweetie, you'll make it -"

His eyelids fluttered, and suddenly he opened first his right eye, then the left. He squeezed them shut again, obviously in pain. Buffy raised her hand and stroke his cheek gently.

"Mom, close the shutters," she said, "It's too light for him in here." She turned back to Spike, in tears, and whispered happily, "I love you."

* * *

The nurse and the doctor were called, and they took out the tube of his mouth, since he was now able to breathe on his own. Joyce and Dawn went out to call the Scooby Gang, because they had all left during the night. Buffy refused to leave Spike's side, and he wouldn't let her go, so she stayed through it all. Finally, when the nurse had fed him tablets against the pain and the doctor was done examining him, they left and Buffy got to be alone with him again.

"You okay?" she asked him, caressing the side of his face lovingly.

He nodded, still not feeling up to talking.

"Do you want some water?" He nodded again and she nursed him some from the glass that was besides his bed. When she had put it back, she told him, "You know, I thought I'd lost you for sure just an hour ago. I'm so sorry for what happened..."

"Not - your - fault," Spike said in a hoarse voice.

"Shh, don't talk," she said and put her finger on his mouth. "Shh..." She kissed him, as softly as she could so that she would not hurt him.

* * *

All of the Gang, including Xander, came back to the hospital during the Sunday. Buffy didn't leave once, surviving only on food her mother brought. Dawn and Joyce stayed at the hospital most of the day too, although they left earlier than Buffy.

Willow and Tara came first, at around noon. The two Wiccas had brought flowers and a teddy bear, and both wore guilty expressions on their faces.

"It's a-all our fault," Willow said. "If we hadn't done that - that curse to kill those demons, you wouldn't be here."

"Nonsense," said Spike who felt good enough to talk a little by now. "If you hadn't done that bloody spell -" he coughed a little "- we'd all be dead by now. I'm alive - be happy."

"Yeah," said Buffy, noticing that Spike was having trouble talking, took over for him. "If you guys hadn't killed those demons, we would still be there, trying to get out. If we'd still be alive, that is."

After a little more convincing, the young Wiccas believed that they weren't to blame - at least not totally, Willow thought.

Giles came next, and then, less than half an hour later, Xander and Anya came.

"I'm sorry I ever sent you out on that trip," Giles said.

"Will everybody please stop with the bloody sorrys? We're all alive, aren't we? And no one entered the portal!" He began coughing hard again, the punctured lung troubling him. Buffy kept an arm around his back, holding him as he coughed blood.

"Spike, careful," she said with a pained statement as he sat back and grasped for air. "It's okay, shh," she mumbled, "Breathe... 'S okay..."

She half expected some smart comment, but got none. Instead, he just leaned on her. She sat cuddled up right next to him on the bed, one arm around his back, his head on the side of her chest.

A nurse came into the room; she'd heard Spike's coughing.

"I will have to ask you all to please leave," she said. "You are upsetting the patient, you will have to come back later."

The others didn't protest; they knew there were too many people in the room, and they left, promising Spike that they'd come back later.

"You too, miss," the nurse said to Buffy.

"No," Spike breathed silently. "Let her stay."

The nurse agreed, "All right, since it's only the one. Just keep it down and don't upset him." Buffy nodded and the nurse left the room.

Buffy snuggled up tighter to Spike, setting both herself and Spike in a decent position.

"You comfortable?" she asked.

He nodded, his eyelids closed. She held her arms around him, her left one behind his back, her right one in front. He had his left hand on her hip, and his right one was still clutching his broken ribs.

"Sleep," she whispered, and he did.

* * *

His punctured lung was the one thing that kept annoying Spike through his time at the hospital. He stayed there for a whole nine days. To begin with, he didn't care; he was so tired and slept so much it didn't matter where he was. But the last couple of days, he was longing to get out of bed.

"You know how bloody boring it is to be in bed all day long?" Spike asked her in an aggravated tone, then seriously regretting it, as he started coughing yet again.

"Spike, calm down," she said, sitting up on his bed. Her backpack lay on the floor; she'd just come from school. She stroke his hair.

"You're getting out of here as soon as my mom comes to sign your release papers, so you'll be up and around soon enough."

Buffy got down again and took out the little bag they had brought to the hospital for him. In it, she put down all of his personal belongings, like his toothbrush and slippers, and the teddy bear he had received from Willow and Tara.

"Look," she said when she was done, "Now you're even all packed." She gave him a quick kiss. "So what are you going to do when we get home?"

"Whatever, as long as it doesn't involve a bloody bed," Spike replied grumpily.

"Really?" Buffy said sweetly. "No bed? That's too bad..."

Realization dawned on Spike as he realized what she was talking about. "Okay," he said, "That kind of activity involving a bed is fine."

She giggled.

* * *

Another week later, they were all back in their old routine. The memory of the night of the Carishou seemed like a distant, unpleasant dream, as did Spike's hospitalization.

Walking around school with Willow, Buffy felt like nothing had ever happened.

"Look, now it's time for the Prom," Willow said and pointed at the placard that some other juniors were putting up on the wall. The dance was only two weeks away. "They've been putting up those signs all over school for weeks now," Willow added.

"You and Tara going to this one too?" Buffy asked, a slight smile on her face although the things she was thinking of weren't worth smiling at. Spike waking her up, saying Willow was in the hospital, driving to the hospital in complete silence, and seeing her friend all wrapped up in casts, in the hospital bed. That was what had happened after the last conversation they had had of a dance.

"I think so," the redhead replied. "We had so much fun at the last one, so... Are you going?"

"I don't know," Buffy admitted. "I'd like to, but I'm not sure Spike wants to."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"Oh I don't know."

"You could always ask him," Willow said, smiling.

"We'll see, Will, we'll see."

* * *

She got a surprise a couple of days later when she opened her locker and found a card saying, "Will you dance with me? Spike" on.

Quickly, she found Spike outside his locker in the other corridor, and said, smiling, "Yes, I will dance with you."

He grinned, "Goody." He swept her into a quick kiss, before they both had to leave for class. Buffy was in a good mood the rest of that day.

* * *

Buffy, Willow, Tara and Anya all went out to by dresses that weekend, one week before the Prom would take place. Willow and Tara had promised that they wouldn't show each other their dresses, because they wanted to surprise. So, Tara started trying dresses while Willow walked off in the store, not getting to come back until Buffy or Anya got her.

Tara ended up choosing a simple, blue dress, which fit snuggly around her upper body and then swayed out from the hips down.

"Gorgeous," both Buffy and Anya agreed.

Tara paid for the dress. Willow came back with a set of dresses and Tara had to go. Willow tried on several without finding anything good, but then tried on a two-piece in black. It had thin spaghetti-straps, and the bottom was in a stretch material with slits on both sides so she would be able to dance in it.

The Wiccas were both there as Buffy and Anya began trying on dresses. Buffy tried on a dark blue one, but didn't like how it fit around her shoulders, so she decided against it even though she liked the color. She tried on a red one, but it didn't match her at all, so that one was a no-no. After trying on several others, Willow came back from a dress hunt with a dress in the same kind of blue as the first one, and that one fit Buffy perfectly.

Meanwhile, Anya found one dress after another, and they all fitted her slim, tall body and she loved them all. After discussing back and forth with herself she decided on a glittery story with no back, just a string by the neck to hold the upper part up. It was very tight, but fit her well.

"So, what more do we need?" Willow asked when Buffy and Anya had paid for their dresses.

"Shoes, make-up and jewelry," Anya responded. She saw the others stare disbelieving at her. "What, I saw it all in this magazine..."

"I don't have enough money for all that," Willow complained.

"Well, I have make-up and shoes at home," Buffy said, "So I only need jewelry."

"I have some jewelry, and shoes I can use, and I have quite a lot of make-up too."

"I'm guessing you're saying no more shopping," Anya said sadly.

* * *

The week passed quickly, and Buffy found herself looking forward enormously to the dance. She had made an appointment to get her hair and nails done; now the only hard thing about Saturday was that Spike wasn't supposed to see her before she was done. But he had promised that he'd go and get himself ready together with his friends and then pick her up for dinner at six.

On Saturday morning she awoke early, little butterflies in her stomach. She ate breakfast as slowly as she could, but she was excited; she'd never gone to a dance with someone she really cared about before. Now she was going with Spike, and she wanted to look and feel her very best.

Tara came by her house at ten thirty to borrow a pair of shoes, because she had none she found fit for the Prom.

At eleven, she had the nail appointment.

"Prom today?" the lady who was working on her nails asked.

"Yeah," Buffy replied, gone away in la-la-land, dreaming of her and Spike dancing the night away.

At three thirty she got her hair done, in a princess-like setting, soft curls swaying down on the sides of her face. When she got home, she put her gown on, and then she applied her make-up; she spent almost forty minutes working to get it perfect. Finally, it was five thirty, and Buffy was finished. She went down to the kitchen where Joyce and Dawn were sitting. They gasped as she entered.

"Wow, sis, you look - well, beautiful," Dawn admitted. The sisters grinned at each other.

"You look gorgeous honey," her mother stood up and hugged her daughter. Joyce wiped away tears. "Look, you're making me cry... My little baby is all grown up."

Buffy just smiled. She knew that no matter what happened, she would always be her mother's little baby. Buffy sat down with her family and took a little water, careful not to spill or mess up her make-up.

Finally, the doorbell rang.

"Since when does Spike ring the doorbell?" Dawn wondered. "Doesn't he have a key?"

"Yeah," Buffy replied, "But he wanted to do it all right, so he's ringing the doorbell."

Dawn nodded, although she didn't get it. He lived there, why not just open the door?

Outside, Spike was waiting, flowers in his hands. He felt oddly nervous.

As the door opened and revealed Buffy, Spike could do nothing but gasp. She looked absolutely stunning. A blue, long, tight fitting dress clad her body, her hair was up in some advanced way with golden locks falling around her pretty face. She wore some make-up, not too much though.

"You - You look beautiful," he breathed. She hid a smile behind her hand. "Here, these are for you." He gave her the flowers.

"Thank you, Spike," she smiled. He looked amazing too. He was dressed in black, almost all the way. His tie was a blue that matched perfectly to her dress. His normally slicked hair was tussled up in little spikes instead - how fitting, Buffy thought with a giggle.

"Something funny, love?" he asked. He had walked up to her, and was now standing close to her, his face only inches from hers.

"No. Just - you look great."

"Why thank you, my lady," Spike smiled.

Joyce and Dawn came out, seemingly having decided that the couple had had enough private time.

"William," Buffy's mother burst out, "You look wonderful!"

"Thank you, Joyce."

"Wow, you sure are dressed up," Dawn said, looking at her sister and fake-brother. "You look pretty together."

"Thanks, Dawnie."

"Can I just please take a picture?" Joyce asked, picking up the camera from the dinner table.

It wasn't one picture, once Joyce had started, though. It was a film. Buffy guessed that her mother had taken at least thirty pictures of them, which she didn't mind, but in the end, she felt like getting away from home and get on with the night. Spike had borrowed Joyce's car, and after a long 'good bye' and lots of 'have fun's, they left.

"Whoa, I thought we'd never get out of there," Buffy smiled as she seated herself in the car.

"Well, now we're out, and onto one heck of a night," Spike responded and gave her a quick kiss before turning on the car.

* * *

The dinner had been wonderful, Buffy thought later on, as they were headed to the Rose Mansion, where the dance was going to take place. During dinner, the two had talked like they hadn't in a long time. They had talked about everything; his past, her past, the future, Slaying, hopes and dreams.

"When I grew up, I always wanted to be a Watcher, like my great grandfather," Spike had told her. "He was my idol. My own parents were just fighting all the time, and it felt like he was the only one I could really trust."

"When - When did he die?" she'd asked softly.

"When I was seven, just after my parents divorced. I hated it all; I hated my life and my parents, and to see my only life line die then... It was bloody hard. My mum tried to help me, but I didn't want her help. I spent more time in my room that year than I have the rest of my life put together." He's smiled a little, although Buffy had known that talking about his great grandfather wasn't easy.

They had gone on to talk about lighter things, and gotten into her being the Slayer.

"I only found out a year and a half ago," she'd told him. "It was kinda scary, all of a sudden all of these people expected me to do all this stuff, and I didn't know how to. It was hard but - well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I guess."

"You know," he'd told her, "You are the strongest person I have ever met. You are just - incredible. And beautiful, I might add."

She'd smiled. She seemed to do that a lot around him. "Thanks," she'd said.

* * *

They arrived at the Rose Mansion at eight thirty; half an hour after the Prom had begun. It was big, huge, with four floors, two dance floors, one room with food and goodies and the top floor, which was used to take professional photos. Buffy and Spike took those first, to have them done with. Then they looked for their friends.

The couple found the other Scoobies by the food, with Xander putting all sorts of candy on a plate like he'd never seen food before.

"Go easy on the plates, mate," Spike said, announcing their presence to the others.

"Buffy! Spike!" Willow squealed and ran over to them and gave Buffy a hug. "I was just wondering where you were."

Tara, Anya and Xander - with his plate of food - followed Willow over to the newly arrived.

"Wow," Xander said, "You look absolutely amazing, Buff."

"Thank you," Buffy blushed. Besides her, Anya looked angry.

"And me?" she asked.

"Oh An, you're the prettiest, most beautiful girl in here, but can't I tell anyone else they look good?"

Anya argued a little, but Xander won, saying that he loved her. For a thousand-year-old ex vengeance demon, she sure has bad self-esteem, Buffy thought.

The group went down to the bottom floor, where one of the dance floors was. It was well crowded, but the group soon found space and started dancing to the rhythm. A slow song followed, and the couples put their hands around each other, heads close and slowed down their pace. Buffy leaned her head on Spike's shoulder, smiling contently. She was in heaven.

"You dance well," she whispered to him.

"I have lots of hidden talents, pet," he replied with a little grin.

"I'm sure you do," she smiled. She met his lips, his sweet, warm lips, and kissed him.

"I love you," he told her.

* * *

The night had continued just as great as it had started. The gang mixed dancing with nibbling on food, talking, and of course, making out with their partners. Anya and Xander disappeared more than once during the night, and Buffy didn't want to imagine what they were doing. She also saw Tara and Anya go off, holding hands and looking very lovingly at each other. She smiled; she was surrounded by love from every angle of her life.

They had gotten home at two, although the dance had ended at twelve. The group had gone out to a café and they sat there, the girls in their big gowns, talking and giggling, while the two boys had been entertaining themselves by playing pool, Spike constantly beating Xander.

The house was quiet as they entered it. Joyce and Dawn were long gone off to sleep, Buffy guessed with a smile.

"Shh," she said, holding a finger to her mouth as Spike made noise while taking off his shoes.

"Sorry," he whispered with a grin.

He looked so cute, and he was looking at her with such a loving gaze. She took him by the hand. "C'mon."

She led him up the stairs, and into her room. Quietly she closed the door behind her, her hand trembling with nervousness.

"Buffy? Love? What are you doing?" Spike asked her, confused but with a slight hope in his voice.

"Help me unzip this dress," Buffy said in a low voice. When he didn't at once, she turned around and looked at him with the sweetest look she could produce. "Please?"

He gulped and did what she asked. She let the dress fall to the floor and stood now in only her underwear, turned away from him. Slowly she turned around to face him.

"Love me," she whispered in a hoarse voice. She reached up and kissed him, and he kissed her back, but then he pulled back.

"Buffy, are you sure of this? Don't do anything you'll regret tomorrow."

He sounded like her mother, the thought.

"I want you," Buffy whispered. "Please, love me..."

It was all that Spike needed. He lifted her up and kissed her passionately, then gently laid her down on her bed. He bent down and kissed her more, mumbling words of love to her. She groaned of pleasure and let herself go, giving herself completely to him.

* * *

It had been a ride. A wonderful ride, filled of highs but basically no lows. He had lifted her higher than she'd thought possible. Now she lay gazing at her lover's sleeping face, wondering what he was dreaming, because he had such a content smile on his lips. She hoped he was dreaming of her.

* * *

She never regretted anything she had done that night. It was pure perfection. He only wish was that her little sister would go away and leave the two alone. She had heard Dawn talk on the phone with her friends, saying, "Yeah, Buffy and Spike, they're you now... together - I know, it's gross to see - They're like making out in the kitchen and all that - I know! I totally agree with you - Yeah, I mean, what are big sisters good for anyway?"

Buffy didn't want to think of how much her mother had heard and knew of her and Spike's night together, if her sister could guess as much as she had.

"Oh come on, pet," Spike said a week after Prom, "If your mum would've had a problem with it, she's have said so by now, wouldn't she?"

"I guess..." Buffy had replied.

Spike had been wonderful. There had been no change in his behavior towards her whatsoever; if anything, he was even more loving. He wasn't like the guys she had read about in magazines, the ones who left when they had had sex once. Buffy had been afraid of that, although, she thought, Spike couldn't really leave at the moment, now could he? If he tried to get away, she'd hunt him down and - hurt him. She smiled at the thought of Spike running from her. She knew deep down that he would never do it.

"Buff? Buffy?" A hand was waved in front of her, waking her up. Xander stood in front of her. "What are you doing in fantasy-land, Buff? Having any pleasant dreams?"

She realized the class they had been in was over, which was why Xander stood in front of her with his bag packed up and ready to go. She still had pens and notebooks out on the desk.

"I'm just thinking," Buffy said, still not all there. She got up though, and they walked out of the classroom.

"Yeah, I noticed."

It was less than a week and a half till graduation now, and all over school, new posters were set up, screaming at them where and when. Buffy thought of them as kind of her death notice. After graduation, it would be a week, and then Spike would leave. His year would be over. Buff felt like crying.

* * *

Yearbooks were distributed the next day, and Buffy quickly looked through it. In the index in the back, she looked up, 'Walthrop, William' and when she saw that he was in no less than seven pictures, and had his own half page shared with another exchange student, she was jumping with happiness. She had hoped it would contain lots of pictures of him. Not that she hadn't taken plenty herself, it was just that she was pretty good at loosing loose pictures, while a book like the yearbook was a little harder to misplace.

"You're in three pictures," Willow told her when they met up at break, "Xander is in two, me and Tara are in one each, Spike is in seven and Anya in four."

"How did Anya manage four?" Buffy asked.

"She said she was a member of different clubs that she's not really in," Willow grinned. "You happy about Spike being in there so much?"

"Yeah. He's on two of the academics pages, the exchange student page, three student life and one club page," Buffy told her.

"You memorized them?" Willow asked with a smile.

"A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do," Buffy grinned back.

* * *

Graduation Day. It was both sad and happy to sit and watch Spike walk in in the cap and gown on the stadium with the crowd cheering. Happy, because it was an achievement in his life. Sad, because it meant the end of so many things. Around her sat all these people smiling and applauding the graduates, and Buffy chimed in every now and then.

The Saludictorian, the Valedictorian, the Principal and the Student Body President all held short speeches to the class, before their names were called to come up and get the diplomas.

"Annie Swanson! Tai Talera! Madeleine Teddy!" the teachers reading the names said, and one after another, the students accepted their diplomas.

"William Walthrop!" Buffy cheered and applauded and whistled. It was bittersweet, she thought. She saw William looking up at the stands, and as he saw her, he smiled and held up the diploma. She beamed at him.

* * *

Buffy sat in her room, door closed. She was crying, and as there was a knock on the door, she didn't answer because she didn't want to talk to anyone.

"Buffy?" Spike asked.

She looked away from him; she didn't want to see him. She heard him walk over the floor and put his hands gently on her shoulders, turning her to face him. He gasped when he saw that she was crying.

"Buffy, why are you crying?" he asked, wiping away her tears with the back of his hand. He sat down on his knees before her. "Talk to me, pet," he said, stroking her cheek.

"I'm crying because it is all over!" Buffy suddenly sobbed, throwing herself in his arms. "You're leaving, and I hate you for it."

She held him closely and he wrapped his arms around her.

"It's another week before I leave, love," he said, stroking her back. "And it doesn't mean it's over. We'll be on different sides of the Atlantic Ocean, but we'll still be alive, and you'll come visit me and I'll come visit you... Don't worry, pet, it will be all right."

She was still clutching to him like she never wanted to let go, and it was true; she didn't want to let go.

"How can you say that? We'll be like a billion miles away from each other, and you'll find someone else there, in England -"

"Buffy, listen to me," Spike said, loosening his grip on her so he could look her in the eyes. "I will never love anyone else like I love you. It will be all right, you hear me? It will all be fine, and I will move here, and we'll get married and have children... It will just take some time, so you've got to have patience. It will be fine."

"A-Are you sure?" Buffy whispered, tears still falling down her cheeks.

"Positively, pet. You won't get rid of me now or ever."

Epilogue

It had gone a year since he had left, and she was still getting emails from him every day. She didn't always have time to respond, but he wrote her anyway. Occasionally, there came letters with the mail, written by hand. She had all of those put away safely away from Dawn's curiosity.

Outside it was gray, rain pouring down the windows.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have landed in London, Heathrow. Please keep your seat belts fastened until the aircraft has come to a complete stop. Me and my crew hope that your journey has been pleasant and that you will travel with us soon again."

The sign with the seat belt disappeared and Buffy stood up and stretched out. Her heart was pounding in he chest as she got her bag down, and she stood impatiently and waited for the people ahead of her to get off the plane.

As she got out of the aircraft, she was almost running. A voice within told her to slow down, that she'd see him soon, but she couldn't wait. She ran through the controls and was jumping up and down for her luggage to come, and when her one suitcase arrived, she was on the move again. There was a little room to go through, another control, and then, ahead of her, there was the room where he'd be waiting.

It was crowded, but it didn't matter. She sensed he was there, her whole body could feel his presence. She turned her head and met his gaze.

He hadn't changed. Still the bleached hair, the dark clothing and the boyish grin on his face. He ran towards her and she ran to him, tears falling down both sets of cheeks. Their lips met and then they embraced, hugging each other tightly.

"I have missed you so," Buffy whispered, kissing him with all the longing that had been held in during the year. "I love you..."

"I love you too, pet," he said picking up her bag. "C'mon, there is so much I need to show you -"

And together they walked off.

End