Earniny Eternity

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Buffy woke just before sunrise and for the first time since she had been called, her first thought was not of death. Her first thought was that he was there and it had been real. He was still holding her tightly. She cradled his head to her chest.

"Spike?...Spike?"

"Buffy"

"We have to go upstairs. It'll be light soon."

She took his hand and led him upstairs to her bedroom unconcerned with her nudity and his. She closed the curtains and lay down beside him. He fit his length to hers and put his arm around her with his hand splayed across her stomach.

"I love you Buffy," he said drowsily.

"I love you too Spike."

"Buffy I want you to know that you're mine. From now on, I won't ever let you go."

With those words, suddenly the reality of her life came crashing down around her.

"Spike I love you with all that I am and that's why I can't hurt you. You're going to live indefinitely and I'm a Slayer. Soon I'm going to be living on borrowed time."

"Shh," he said and placed his fingers against her lips. "From this moment on, for as long as we have, you're mine and I want to spend every moment with you, loving you, talking to you."

She smiled. That was all she could ask for she knew. She snuggled her head against his chest and fell asleep like a trusting child. She dreamed of love, of a life together, never knowing that life together would be all too short.

She woke just after sunset, still in his arms. She hadn't slept that long in all the years since she'd been called. He was even more beautiful asleep than awake. He looked so young and sweet. She reflected on the past 11 months and the evolution of their relationship. Ever since that evening in the cemetery when they'd fought for the last time they'd been moving towards
this moment. She rolled over to face him, laying her forehead over his chest where his heartbeat should be. She looked up at his face and caressed the scar above his eyebrow. She couldn't resist any longer so she leaned up and kissed him, waking him.

"Hi," she said softly.

He smiled, "Hi."

They just lay there smiling at each other. Then he kissed her and the kiss deepened. The phone rang. She didn't want to answer it. She knew it was bad news. She knew. She knew it was bad news and therefore that she had to answer it. She kissed him once more and leaned over to answer the phone.

"Buffy I need you at my place right away."

"Somehow I knew you'd say that Giles. Spike and I'll be right there."

"You and Spike?!"

"Yes Giles, me and the man I love. See you soon."

She chuckled as she heard him sputtering on the other end of the phone. She put the phone down and turned to Spike.

"This is gonna be fun," she said wearily.

"Buffy, I love you," he said seriously, "and not your friends, your mum, or your Watcher can convince me to let you go."

"Good," she said cheerfully, "cuz they can't convince me either."

She kissed him on the nose and hopped out of bed getting dressed. He watched her and she knew he wanted to pull her back into his arms and keep her there forever. She wanted nothing more than to do just that but she knew that her sacred duty was calling and she must answer. Spike got up and pulled on his clothes. They held hands as they went downstairs. She grabbed
some juice and watched as he drank a bag of blood she kept for him. They looked at each other and knew they had to focus on the fight ahead. With one last lingering kiss in her mother's kitchen they left to meet Giles and the others and their fate.

******

Buffy found herself fast-forwarding through time. It was too difficult for her to watch those last few days together. Less than one month after she and Spike had made love for the first time she would die. It was too bittersweet to watch the last days. They'd been so busy planning their defense against the latest threat that they hadn't had much time to enjoy their love. They'd
been busy all day everyday and had been too exhausted to make love more than a handful of times. When Giles had called that morning it had been to warn them about the new Master and his plan to create the most powerful, dangerous demon the world had ever seen. They did not know the specifics but they had to be prepared for any eventuality so their days were filled with
research, training and strategizing.

As she was speeding through the days, approaching that of her death something caught her attention and she stopped to watch. Those last days together she and Spike had been inseparable. He had moved into her basement and she began keeping his hours. She couldn't remember them ever being apart during that time but as she watched Spike she saw him walking through the cemetery alone towards his crypt. When he got there he seemed to be searching for something. He rifled through everything and finally stooped to get something lying under the bed. It was his journal. She watched intently as he sat at the writing table and flipped through the pages looking for a particular entry. He paused and began to read.

"It must be about the dream," she thought.

He stopped and closed the book. Buffy watched as he seemed to sigh and his whole body seemed to deflate. He put his head in his hands and just sat for several minutes.

"Please remember Spike. Please."

Suddenly he jumped up tossing the book across the crypt as he had before. In the days that followed Buffy noticed how over protective he was. She hadn't remembered that. Maybe she hadn't noticed. He never let her out of his sight. Which is how they came to be patrolling together without any of the other Scoobies the night she died.

They had all been near collapse so Giles had declared a night off but Buffy had insisted that she patrol. Spike refused to let her go alone even though she tried convincing him that she would only make one sweep through the cemetery and then go home. He had gone with her. It was on their last pass through the graveyard that it happened. They were attacked by 20
minions at once. They were so caught off guard by their numbers that they hadn't had a chance. They were subdued and held.

They struggled but it was no use.

Then the Master approached from behind a nearby crypt. Spike's vampire visage surfaced but he still could not get free.

"So, here we are at last," the Master said. "Now my greatest creation is but moments away from being born. The most powerful killing machine the world has ever known and she will be mine to control."

Buffy's panicked eyes looked at Spike. He tried to reassure her but could not get close to her.

"Tonight a Slayer will be turned and she and I will rule the Hellmouth together."

Buffy gasped as she watched. She hadn't remembered any of this. She continued to watch although the words that were exchanged faded. She concentrated on watching her face and Spike's. She watched Spike struggle as the Master approached her. She saw herself struggle and unable to get away, she turned to Spike and told him she loved him just as the Master bit
into her neck and drained her. Spike howled like a wounded animal when the Master slit his wrist and Buffy began to drink.

"Ultimate sacrifice." He understood now, too late. Buffy's worst fear had come to pass and he had been unable to prevent it despite the strength of his love and his best efforts. He would not, however, allow her to live as a vampire. He would not let her be condemned to that hell. He drew on strength he hadn't known he possessed freeing himself and dusting the vampires that held him. The other minions saw what was happening and ran to save themselves. The Master was too concerned with his new "creation" to pay attention to Spike which explained the look of surprise that crossed his face just before he turned to dust.

Spike looked at Buffy, her head was down and she had yet to look at him.

"I'm so sorry Buffy. I'm so sorry I couldn't do that sooner and prevent this."

She lifted her head and looked at him, her face that of a vampire. She laughed and he could feel the power in her and the evil of her demon.

"Save me from what Spike?" she asked in a husky voice.

"From this. I love you Buffy," he said as he stuck a stake through her heart.

She turned to dust and fell at his feet. Spike howled again and fell down on his knees gathering her ashes in his hands. The pain and rage at what he'd had to do built inside him and he was inconsolable. Dust. He had turned her to dust. All of his love and dreams were dust in his hands. Finally he collapsed face down on the ground and cried, his tears and her ashes mingling
to make dirty trails on his face.

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