Earniny Eternity

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Buffy was still amazed at the way she could watch the events on Earth as though watching a movie on a VCR. She could rewind and fast forward through time and see everything that had happened in the past. She could see all of the past but never the future. She chose now to go back and watch what had happened the day after she had visited Spike's dream. She remembered that day and she realized that Spike had seemed different that day. It was the first day in all the time they had known each other that he had been different, softer maybe, angrier but softer underneath. That day was exactly
one year before Buffy would die. She intended to watch it all. She was surprised at herself that she hadn't done it before. After all, she still had not been able to remember how she had died. One minute she had been fighting the newest Master and the next she was in heaven. She supposed she had never dwelt on it before because her first and only concern had been Spike and the misery she knew he would suffer with her gone. Now she would see it all and finally know what had happened.

She watched as he woke, shaking his head and muttering. She couldn't make out the words. He walked to the refrigerator, grabbed a bag of blood and fed. He was still muttering to himself. She knew he must be thinking about the dream. But would he remember? She watched. He walked over to his small writing desk, clad only in his black jeans. He opened a book and
began to write. She'd never realized that Spike wrote. She wanted to know what he was writing but could not see the words he put to paper. Somehow she knew it must be a journal and she hoped he was recording his memories from the
dream.

Spike what are you doing? Suddenly he snapped the pencil in two, tossed the pieces across the room and slammed the book shut.

"Bloody hell! Just the Slayer playing with my mind," he snarled. "Gotta get out of here and do...something." He threw on a black T-shirt and his duster and stormed out the door.

She watched, chuckling to herself, as he stalked through town, knocking over trashcans and kicking anything that got in his way. Basically doing violence to anything inanimate object hat crossed his path. Humans in the vicinity were saved from his wrath by the chip in his head. She knew he must be totally unsatisfied by that but he made do.

He finally headed towards the cemetery. She saw herself. She saw the two of them talking. Well, not talking really, more like verbal sparring. Then they fought. They had found a way to fight with each other that didn't cause him pain. As long as
his punches never landed on her with any real force and he knew it was just an exercise, he was okay. God, she loved to watch him fight, always had.

Watching the two of them together was like watching a brutal ballet. He landed a punch to her ribs and immediately fell down on the ground moaning and clutching his head. The chip had gone off because he had landed that one
punch too hard and perhaps with more malice than he had consciously intended. He had caused her pain and now he paid for it with his own.

She saw herself smile at his pain but then it dissolved to a frown. As she watched she tried to remember her feelings that day and what had made her kneel down and touch his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. That was the day they had
struck their bargain. He'd help her and in return she would protect him from the demons that were out to make a name for themselves by taking out William the Bloody. In that moment they both realized they couldn't fight each other
anymore, him because of the chip and her because she would not take advantage of his situation. If they couldn't fight they realized they might as well join forces.

She watched from heaven as the days and months passed. She watched their alliance evolve into friendship. She relived how patrolling together became going to movies together and hanging out at her house with her mom. She recalled their heated arguments of the superiority of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows versus marshmallow fluff. She could remember the
confusion she felt during those days and the feelings that developed for Spike beyond friendship that she had fought so hard to deny. She began to fall in love with the man that she listened to music with and talked with. They had finally begun to talk beyond their usual sarcastic banter. He told her about his childhood, his past. She told him about the dreams she had for her
life before she had been called. She talked about her fears, how she knew that she was the Slayer and every morning the first thought in her mind was that she would die young. However, she revealed that her greatest fear wasn't of dying young but of being turned and killing her friends and family and losing herself in the monster it would make of her.

It was achingly bittersweet for her to watch the interaction between the two of them, watching and remembering and feeling all of those emotions all over again. And then she saw it, the day everything had really changed, the day that she had finally seen some light at the end of the dark tunnel that her life had become. It was the day that she and Spike had finally kissed.

******

It had been a particularly hard night patrolling. Six pretty powerful vamps had ambushed them and they had won as they always did but not without taking some brutal punches themselves. The two of them limped home together, their arms around each other for support. They reached her house and collapsed on her mother's couch, neither one wanting to move for a year.

They just lay there for several minutes, resting their heads on the back of the couch and groaning in pain. Then they had begun to laugh at themselves.

"I've got enough scars for three kickboxers twice my size," Buffy said.

"Ha, I've got more than you Slayer," Spike boasted.

"Wanna bet?" Buffy asked playfully.

They began showing each other various scars trying to best each other. Buffy showed Spike the scar on her left elbow from a demon's horn. Spike showed her one on his knee from a stake that had ripped through the knee of his jeans and his flesh. Buffy showed him the scar on the back of her neck from the Master she defeated the night she died the first time. He told her the
story of the scar on his eyebrow from one of the Slayers he'd killed. She couldn't really sympathize with him for that one.

As their exchange grew more heated she lifted up her shirt, exposing her tanned abdomen and a three-inch scar running across the top of her belly button. She started to explain where it had come from when she noticed that Spike had become very still and was staring at the scar and the rest of her skin with heated concentration. Her words trailed off and she became silent
as she watched him. There was no eye contact between them but she knew what he intended even before his hand came out and began to approach her stomach. She caught her breath and gave in to the butterflies in her stomach. She felt the energy coursing between them. He reached out and gently caressed that expanse of soft skin. Buffy's eyes drifted shut and then shot open in surprise at his words.

"Want me to kiss it and make it better, pet?" His voice was deep and gravelly with restraint. She couldn't speak. All those feelings she'd been fighting came rushing through her and she didn't feel like fighting anymore. What will be, will be she thought. She bit her lower lip and slowly shook her head yes. He hadn't been watching her face, his eyes still fixated on
her skin but he knew instinctively what her answer would be. She gripped her T-shirt in her fists, still holding it up. He leaned in very slowly, his breath caressing her skin just before his lips did. Lightly, so lightly she wondered if it was real he brushed his lips over the scar. Heat shot through her body while at the same time she broke out in goosebumps. She felt herself melting. He didn't stop with just one light kiss. He kissed the scar from one end to the other, running his tongue along its length and dipping it into her navel. Then he began a slow path of sweet kisses and tiny licks up her belly to the valley between her breasts. His head was under her shirt and he couldn't stop and she wouldn't stop him. She didn't want to stop him, as far as he would go, she would follow, willingly.

His hair started to tickle and she giggled. "Are you laughing at me Slayer?" he asked.

"No, it tickles."

"It does? You don't know what tickling is."

He began to tickle her sides in earnest. She was laughing uncontrollably but stopped suddenly as he began kissing her again. She reached down and pulled her shirt over her head exposing herself to him completely.

"Cor, Slayer I don't think I've ever seen anything as beautiful as you."

He brought his head up and looked into her eyes.

"You're beautiful too Spike," she said breathlessly as she met his gaze.

The look in his eyes made her feel safer and more cherished than anything in her life ever had. She felt no hesitancy anymore. She knew this was right no matter what anyone else thought this was right for her. She leaned forward and met his lips for the first time. It was the most incredible kiss either of them had ever experienced. She broke away from his mouth, breathless and still they stared into each other's eyes.

"I love you Spike. I don't know when or how it happened but I do."

His eyes widened and then softened. A single tear ran down his face.

"I love you Buffy."

"Make love to me Spike, please," she asked.

He leaned forward and began to kiss her again. This time he deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth with his tongue. She broke the kiss only long enough to pull his shirt over his head. She met his lips again and latched onto his tongue sucking on it. He groaned and grabbed the back of her head. He broke away and rained kisses across her face. He nibbled on her ear
lobe and kissed down her neck, lingering at the spot where her neck met her collarbone. She held his head tightly to her skin. He ran his hands over her back, loving the softness and warmth of it. She was on fire. His cool skin against hers was making her hotter and hotter. She began to explore his chest and back with her hands, running her fingers along the ridges of his muscles.

"So beautiful," she whispered.

She pulled him closer, but it wasn't nearly close enough. Her satin clad breasts were smashed against the hardness of his chest. They wrapped their arms around each other losing themselves in the kiss and leaning back on the couch. The only sounds in the room were their own whispers and moans as they fell into each other. They broke apart only when she needed to breathe and
even then her couldn't bare to lose contact with her body. As she breathed deeply preparing for the next kiss he would kiss her neck, her eyes, any part of her he could reach with his mouth.

"More, Spike, more," she moaned.

She needed more of his skin, more of his mouth, more of everything. She wanted more and he obliged, removing both of their clothes while she moaned and writhed beneath him. When they were both naked he paused to look at her. Her eyes were closed and she was rubbing herself against the textured fabric of the couch, missing the feel of him on top of her. He couldn't
believe that he had been blessed with her love and beauty. He wanted to prolong this unique moment but knew he couldn't.

He covered her body with his and they were both lost again. It was all hands and skin and kisses. The wet sounds of their kisses and their moans and heavy breathing added to the pure eroticism of the moment. Buffy watched from above. At first she had felt strange about watching the scene from heaven but she knew there was nothing pornographic or dirty about what she was watching. They were beautiful together. Their lovemaking was everything sex between a man and a woman was meant to be. She saw and remembered the complete trust and love they shared when they came together. They looked so young and vulnerable to her. They looked like two young lovers discovering passion for the first time. In a way that's what they had
been because she knew that neither one of them had ever felt anything like that before. All of their other experiences paled in comparison. She watched as his hands slid down her body and between her legs seeking her wet warmth. His fingers delved into her wet folds and stroked her. She stiffened and then relaxed, moving against his fingers and begging him for more.

"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy," he gasped. "I love you, I love you, I love you," he couldn't seem to stop saying it. "I love you."

"Please Spike."

She clasped her hands behind his neck and parted her legs further, asking for him to fill her with his hardness not his fingers. He kissed her again and entered her slowly. They both stiffened and moaned at the unbelievable pleasure they felt at being joined. They lay still a moment savoring the feeling of completeness neither of them had ever known before this moment. Then it was too much for both and them and they began to move together. They clung to each other with lips and arms and legs and tried to go slow but couldn't. They were both consumed by their feelings and cried out at the same time as they came. He collapsed on top of her still kissing her neck and beginning to purr. She held him tightly, a look of amazement on her face. She traced soothing circles over his back and fell into a deep sleep with a smile of contentment on her face and the sounds of his purring
in her ear. They lay there all night, joined together.

Buffy sobbed, watching from above. It was so beautiful and she knew they had so little time left. It was almost too much to bear. But she continued to watch unable to tear herself away.

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