Author’s note: This is the fifth and final installment in my Heart of Darkness series. The Latin words were found Here If you speak Latin and I royally screwed up and made no sense, let me know. Otherwise, at least it sounds cool.

I also want to thank each and every one of you who have commented on this story. Thanks for all your support, helpful advice, and wonderful feedback. This story was so much fun to write and I hope everyone out there enjoyed reading it.

Summary: Willow has gone over the edge. Can her friends save her before it’s too late?

Rating: PG-13

~Heart of Darkness~

The Turning of the Tide

Part Five-The Conclusion

Buffy saw the bright globe of light shoot into the air. She cried out and held her hands in front of her eyes to shield herself from the blinding rays. Spike dove onto the floor seeking cover, but there was none. He covered his head with his hands and they burst into flame, along with his jacket. He cried out sharply at the immense pain.

Buffy saw what was happening. She frantically grabbed the thick comforter off the bed and covered him with it, smothering out the flames in the process. She lay on top of him, trying to shield him further, even though she knew it was futile.

Willow laughed.

“Wow. He burns quicker than I thought. Smells kinda funky though.” She said wrinkling her nose.

“Stop it! Stop this! Willow!” Buffy cried, as she clutched the smoldering heap on the floor that was Spike.

Willow sighed and shrugged. She waved her hands in the air and the ball of sunshine disappeared.

“You’re no fun.” She pouted. “I mean, Buffy, come on. You’re a vampire Slayer, not a vampire protector.”

Buffy stared at her incredulously. It was clear that Willow was completely gone at this point. Something had snapped and Willow was gone. Buffy pulled herself off of Spike, and tossed the comforter aside. He was panting with unnecessary breath. Buffy crouched over him.

“Are you okay?” She asked, trying to determine how bad his burns were.

“Yeah. Just a little singed. I’ll manage.” He choked out painfully.

His face had several red welts forming and his hands were blackened. His white blonde hair was singed black on the ends. The whole room smelled like burning leather and flesh. It was nauseating. Buffy fought back her tears of sadness and anger. She glared at Willow.

“You are sick. Sick and insane. What’s happened to you?” She hissed.

Willow began to walk around the room calmly.

“What happened to me? I grew up. That’s what everyone told me I should do. I grew up, I got powerful, and no one seemed to like it. But I don’t care. I don’t need any of you anymore.” She said shooting Buffy a cold look.

“You think this is growing up? This is madness. This isn’t you, Willow.”

“Correction. It wasn’t me. I was always sweet, lovable Willow. Dependable, caring, trustworthy, and well, let’s face it, weak and boring. No one respected me. No one noticed me. I was just this geeky nerd and you allowed me to hang out with you. And it worked for awhile. I felt important. I was saving the world. But you know what? I don’t care much about this world anymore. I mean, it’s nice and all. But what I really care about now is me.” Willow said coldly.

Buffy looked at her numbly. Tears were running down her face and her hands were shaking. Spike struggled to stand up, as he leaned on the bed for support. He tried to steady himself with his hands and recoiled in pain when his charred skin made contact with the sheets. He looked at Willow painfully.

“I’ve been there, Red. You found this power and it’s exhilarating. I know. And you feel pretty good about yourself, for once. I know that too. Hell, I’ve lived that. But what you need to realize is that that feeling goes away. And when it does, you’re left with nothing. Nothing but the emptiness.” He told her seriously.

She glared at him.

“Shut up! Stop acting like you care! You don’t care. The only thing you care about is Buffy. That’s all anybody really cares about. And you took her away from us. All of this started with you. You let Dawn get cut. It was your fault the ritual started. It was your fault that Buffy had to jump. But I fixed it. I brought her back. And you ruined it! You took her away from us. You took her away from me! She’d rather be with the one person who killed her than the one who saved her!” Willow shouted desperately.

Spike choked on her words. All the guilt that he’d felt over Buffy’s death came flooding back to him. He lowered his head and said nothing. He didn’t have words for what she accused him of.

“Willow, what happened to me wasn’t Spike’s fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault.” Buffy tried to explain.

“Yes it was! He did this. I sent him up that tower to save Dawn and he failed. I trusted him to save her. To save all of us, and he failed! Don’t you see?”

“I tried.” Spike choked out hoarsely.

“You didn’t try hard enough.” Willow spat at him.

“Stop it!” Buffy shouted.

“Buffy, I saved you. He killed you, and I saved you. How can you even look at him?” Willow asked desperately.

“You didn’t save me from anything, Willow. You’re the one I can’t even look at. You’re the one who took me out of peace and brought me back into this Hell. I was finally at peace and now I’m not. You’re the one that did that.” Buffy said angrily.

“No. Shut up! You’re lying. I saved you.” Willow said despairingly.

“No. You didn’t. I was happy, Will. I was happy. I was in Heaven.” Buffy choked out with tears in her eyes.

Willow looked at her blankly. It took a moment to register what she was saying. She almost felt a tear escape her eyes, but she pushed it away. She felt the power of the amulet surging around her. She focused on that, and not on the harsh truth that she had just learned. She felt the darkness swirling around in her heart. It consumed her. She glared at Buffy and Spike with black eyes.

“Fine. If you were so happy, then you won’t mind going back there.” Willow said with an evil voice.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Xander began to stir. He wasn’t sure where he was for a moment. He looked around with bleary eyes. He was in the Magic Box.

“What am I doing here? What happened?” He muttered to himself.

Then he heard someone else in the room. He heard a feeble moan and he looked over to where it was coming from. He saw Tara in heap behind the counter. He pulled himself up and walked over to her.

“Tara? Are you alright?” He asked, crouching beside her.

“What happened? Where am I?” She asked rubbing her eyes.

“We’re at the Magic Box.”

“Why? What happened? I feel all fuzzy.” She shook her head to clear it.

“It was Willow. She did something. Something to knock us out.” Xander explained as he tried to remember what had happened.

“Willow?” She asked, furrowing her brow.

“Tara, look, I know that you think Willow is the coolest thing since sliced bread, but—.” Xander started.

“No. S-she’s in trouble. The amulet. She still has it.” Tara said quickly. She was suddenly starting to feeling clear headed for the first time in a long while.

“What? You know about that, and you didn’t say anything?”

“I-I just remembered. It’s like I’ve been in a fog. I-I remember I went to talk to her after she took Anya’s voice away. Then it’s like nothing. It’s all blurry.” Tara said, forcing herself to remember.

“She must have done something to you. I should have known. I mean, you were acting all weird, but we just thought…I mean, we didn’t know.” Xander said shaking his head.

“It was a spell. She made me forget. She made me trust her.” She said softly.

“Well, whatever she did tonight must have cancelled it out or something. What else do you remember?”

“N-not much. Xander, tell me what’s going on.”

“Well, here’s the condensed version. Willow’s got the amulet and she’s gone all Fairuza Balk on us.”

“What?”

“You know that movie The Craft?” He explained.

“Yeah, yeah, I know that. But what do you mean? Willow’s gone bad?” She asked confused.

“Yeah. Big time scary bad. And right now I think Buffy and Spike are in a crapload of trouble.” Xander said quickly.

“My god…Willow…I should have seen this coming. I should have known she was getting too powerful.” Tara shook her head sadly.

“None of us knew until it was too late. And besides, I think you did know. She just conveniently made you forget. But we need to do something now and fast.”

“I just can’t believe this.” Tara uttered softly.

“I know. I can’t either. Tonight, Willow and I were supposed to go to a movie, while Buffy and Spike went to find the amulet and destroy it. I didn’t count on her becoming suspicious and putting us into a coma.”

Tara absorbed his words and was silent for a moment. She looked up at Xander.

“Well, there was something that Willow didn’t count on either.”

“What’s that?”

“Me.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy looked at Willow and trembled. For once in her life she was truly scared. She had dealt with so much in her life, but this was by far the worst. This was worse than the Master, worse than Glory, and it was even worse than Angelus. She had loved him too, but she at least knew he was a monster. She didn’t know what Willow had become.

“Please Willow, just listen to me. Don’t do anything stupid. Let’s just talk about this.” Buffy pleaded.

“Oh, now suddenly you want to talk? Where were you when I wanted to talk? Oh that’s right. You were screwing your new vampire boyfriend. Geez. At least the last one had a soul. Well, at least until you took care of that.” Willow said angrily.

“Shut up. Spike has more of a soul right now than you do. I don’t even know what you are anymore.” Buffy said with tears in her eyes.

“And I don’t know what you are anymore either. What kind of Slayer are you? Didn’t anyone tell you that you aren’t supposed to sleep with the enemy? You’re supposed to kill them.”

Buffy stood there silently seething. Her heart was broken and her anger was mounting. She couldn’t even believe that this was her best friend speaking to her. She looked away from Willow and hung her head down.

Spike had heard more than enough. He was not going to let Willow talk to Buffy like that. With all his remaining strength, he lunged forward and attempted to tackle Willow to the ground. She looked over at him, just as he bounced off an invisible barrier that surrounded Willow. She laughed and shook her head as he flew backwards and crashed into a dresser, shattering the mirror.

“Remember what I told you Spike. No one can touch me.”

Buffy ran over to Spike who was straining to get himself up amidst the broken glass that was scattered everywhere. He winced in pain.

“Are you alright?” Buffy asked him.

“Just peachy.” He said as he clenched his teeth and looked at Willow bitterly.

That was the last straw for Buffy. She was done trying to reason with a crazy person. She stood up and marched over to Willow angrily.

“That’s it. I’m through trying to be nice. You wanna play like this? We’ll play like this. But at least fight fair. Take down your little magic bubble and fight me. That’s what you want, isn’t it? You wanna kick my ass? You wanna show me how tough you are? Then let’s do this.”

“You think I’m going to fight you?”

“Why not? Are you afraid? Do you think that without your little parlor tricks, you might not seem so tough anymore?”

Willow waved her hand in air to dispel her protection barrier. Then she looked at Buffy.

“Fine. Let’s do this.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tara and Xander jumped into his car and sped off towards Buffy’s house. Tara sat silently looking out the window as they drove along. Xander looked over at her.

“Are you sure you can do this?” Xander asked.

“Yes. I’ve been studying magic for a lot longer than Willow. I can do this.” She said confidently.

“Do you really think you can stop her? I mean, Willow’s using some serious magic of the black variety.”

“It doesn’t matter what kind of magic she’s using. Just because it’s dark, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s more powerful.”

“It doesn’t? I mean, I thought that was the whole point?”

“No. Magic is powerful any way you look at it. It’s what you do with it that makes it dark or not. Willow chose the darker path. I didn’t.”

“But you’re still powerful, right?” He asked skeptically.

Tara looked over at Xander with calm determination.

“I’m a lot more powerful than I look. I’m also a lot more powerful than Willow thinks I am. Just because I don’t show it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I just keep it inside.”

“Well, if you say you can do this, then I believe you.”

“I can do this. Trust me.” She said with resolve.

They pulled up in front of Buffy’s house and jumped out. They ran up the steps and into the house. They could hear a commotion coming from upstairs. They headed up the stairs quickly.

Inside the bedroom, Willow and Buffy had started throwing punches at each other. Spike attempted to join in the fray, but Willow raised her hands into the air once more.

“Freeze!” She shouted.

Spike was immediately frozen in his position unable to move or speak. Buffy turned around to witness this. Willow took that opportunity to kick Buffy down to the ground.

“Wow. Look at that. I guess I perfected that freezing spell just in time.” Willow said proudly.

“Let him go.”

“No. This is between us. You wanted a fair fight. Two against one isn’t fair. Now it’s just us.” Willow said looking down on Buffy.

“Correction. It’s us too.” Xander said as he stood in the doorway with Tara.

Willow’s head snapped around and she glared at them both.

“What are you doing here? I thought I put you two to sleep?” She said angrily.

“Well, I guess your magic’s breaking down a bit, then isn’t it.” Xander told her.

“No. It’s not! Tara! Get over here now.” She commanded her.

“Hey Will. Guess what? She’s not your puppet anymore.” Xander told her heatedly.

“What? Tara? You’re still on my side, right?” Willow implored her.

“I’m always on your side, Willow. You need to stop this now. This has gone far enough.” Tara said in a calming voice.

Willow lowered her head for a moment. Everyone waited expectantly to see what was going to happen next. Willow appeared to breaking down. They all wondered if Tara was actually getting through to her. That thought was short lived. Willow’s head snapped back angrily and her eyes were completely black again. The dark power of the amulet surged through her. She raised her arms into the air and shouted.

“Away!”

Tara and Xander both flew backwards and into the hallway.

Buffy jumped up and tried to grab Willow, but was knocked aside by her powerful magic. Spike stood frozen, watching the entire thing and could do nothing to help or stop it. Tara scrambled to her feet and stood in the doorway. Willow turned around and raised her hands again. A large purple bolt of energy spewed from her fingertips aimed directly for Tara. Tara didn’t flinch. She held up her hands in front of her face.

“Contain!” She shouted.

The energy stopped its stream in midair and dissipated in a flash of light. Willow looked shocked and angered. She turned around and searched for a way out of the room. It felt like the walls were closing in on her. Tara and Xander were blocking the doorway, so she ran over to the window.

“Strigo!” Tara shouted, and Willow was stopped dead in her tracks. She tried to move but was magically detained.

“Let me go!” She screamed.

“Hurry! Get the amulet!” Tara shouted.

Buffy ran over to Willow and yanked the chain off of her neck. Willow screamed.

“No! Release!”

The spell that Tara had used to stop Willow was broken and Willow lunged at Buffy. They struggled on the ground for control of the amulet. Willow’s power was becoming unfocused without the amulet around her neck. Spike fell to the ground as her freezing spell lost its strength.

He lay on the ground gasping for breath that he didn’t even need. He tried to crawl over to Buffy and help her out. Xander rushed over and tried to pull Willow away from Buffy, but Willow knocked him aside with a magical flick of her wrist. Tara stood calmly in the doorway, trying to focus her energies.

“Separate!” She shouted as she waved her hands into the air.

Willow flew backwards and away from Buffy who was still clutching the amulet in her hands. Spike had managed to struggle to his feet despite the pain of his burns and bruises.

“Give me the amulet!” He told Buffy quickly.

She looked at him and tossed it over. He grabbed it midair as Willow struggled to her feet. His charred hands were burning with pain, but he bit it back. He needed to do this. Spike grabbed a heavy bookend that was on a shelf. He tossed the amulet to the ground and smashed it with the bookend. It shattered into a million pieces. As it did, a blinding blue light filled the room. Willow shrieked.

“NO! NO!”

Everyone fell backwards at the sheer force of the dark energy engulfing the room. In a flash, the light dissipated and the room returned back to normal. Willow sat there with a look of utter panic and despair. She clenched her teeth and her eyes grew dark once again.

“You are all going to pay for this. You think I need that amulet?” She hissed at all of them as she stood to her feet.

“Willow, stop. It’s over.” Buffy said trying to calm her down.

“It’s not over! It will never be over!” She shouted.

She raised her hands into the air again. Everyone stood there unable to move, numb with shock. No one knew what she was going to do now. Tara stepped forward and began to chant loudly.

“Veneficium vincio vincire vinxi vinctum!” A flash of light encircled Willow then disappeared.

Willow’s arms fell to her sides limply and her eyes went wide with panic.

“No!” She screamed as she fell to her knees.

Willow began to sob and Tara went over to touch her shoulder. Willow shook it off and hurried to her feet. She looked at Tara desperately.

“How could you do this to me?” She asked.

“Because I love you.”

Willow just shook her head angrily.

“No, no, no. This isn’t happening.” She muttered to herself in a completely panicked state.

“Uh, this would be that emptiness I was talking about earlier.” Spike chimed in.

Willow turned and glared at him.

“Shut up!” She screamed.

“Willow, it’s really over this time.” Xander said softly.

Willow looked at him filled with anger, sadness and desperation. She turned to look at everyone else in the room. They were all stunned and completely speechless. No one really knew what had just happened. Willow felt the terror rising in her chest. Her amulet was gone. Everything was gone. She choked back a sob and ran from the room. Everyone stood still for a moment and finally Buffy looked at Tara.

“What did you do to her?” Buffy asked softly.

“I put a binding spell on her. I-I made it so she can’t use magic anymore.” Tara explained.

“But I thought that if we did that, I would die?”

“No. This is different. Xander told me about that other spell. The one I used, it doesn’t take away her powers. She still has them. She just can’t use them anymore.”

“For how long?”

“Forever. Or until I lift the spell. B-but I won’t do that.”

Everyone stood silently as they absorbed the information. It was over now. It was all over.

“Maybe I should go after her.” Buffy uttered softly, as hung her head down.

“No. Let me.” Tara said quietly.

Everyone nodded their heads and Tara walked out of the room. The numbness of the situation was still fresh, but Buffy managed to pull herself together. She turned and looked at Spike who was sitting quietly on the bed. His burns were gone now and Buffy went and sat next to him.

“Your burns are all gone.” She said as she took his hand.

“Yeah. All of the spells done with the amulet were broken. Guess the after effects go away as well.” He said quietly.

“Guess this means your chip works again.” She wondered how he felt about that.

“Yeah. Guess it does.” He shrugged.

“Disappointed?”

“Nah. It doesn’t matter really. I never even got to test it out.”

“Were you planning to?” She asked raising her eyebrow.

“No.” He sighed.

“Good.”

Xander walked over to them and sat down next to Buffy. He shook his head.

“I can’t believe it’s over.” He muttered.

“Yeah. We did it.” Buffy said softly.

“Actually Tara did it.” Xander corrected her.

“Yeah. Wow. I mean, who knew? I didn’t think she had it in her.”

“The strong, silent type, I guess.” Spike shrugged.

They all sat there for a moment in silence, just trying to absorb everything. Finally Buffy broke the silence.

“What happens now?”

“Good question.” Spike answered.

“I don’t know if I can forgive her.” Xander admitted softly.

“Me neither.” Buffy agreed.

The silence settled over them again until Xander stood up suddenly.

“Wait a minute! Anya! I need to get home. If Willow sent her away, she might be back at home now. I-I need to go.”

“You’re right. Go. See if she’s there.” Buffy said standing to her feet.

“Are you guys okay?” Xander asked, feeling a little guilty for leaving so abruptly.

“Yeah. Go. Find Anya. Call us and let us know.” Buffy said giving Xander a hug.

He smiled and raced out of the room in hopes of finding his lost love. Buffy turned to Spike again sadly.

“What are we going to do? I-I don’t think I can forgive her for this. It’s just too much. Willow was right when she said it wasn’t over. It’ll never be over.”

He gave her a sympathetic look and pulled her over to him. She sat on his lap and he stroked her hair softly.

“I know. It seems like that now, but you’ll find a way. If she wants to be forgiven, you’ll find a way.”

“But what if she doesn’t want to be forgiven?”

“Well, then you still have to do it.” He said quietly. Then he looked into her eyes. “Buffy, I’ve done so many terrible things to a lot of people. You and your friends included. I never asked for your forgiveness. And I won’t because I don’t deserve it. But somehow, someway, you moved past it all and were able to love me. I don’t know how or why, but you did. It’ll be that way with Willow too. If you let it.”

Buffy looked at him silently. Then she nodded her head.

“I guess you’re right.”

He kissed her softly and they fell back onto the bed together. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and she clutched onto him. They just lay there holding each other, trying to find comfort in a highly uncomfortable situation. After a few minutes Buffy groaned.

“Oh crap!” She said sitting up abruptly.

“What?”

“I just remembered something. Something about the night that Willow put that spell on me.”

“What is it?”

“I remember I confronted her about the amulet. Then she told me that she had used it to pay my bills and conjure up that pile of money. You know what this means?” She shook her head sadly.

“Uh-oh. You’re broke again?”

“Yes…Ugh! And not only that, I’m like months behind in all my bills. I am so screwed.”

He wasn’t sure what to say now, so he just stayed silent. Buffy put her head in her hands, then ran her hands through her hair desperately.

“You okay?” He asked, knowing it was a stupid question.

“Oh yeah. I’m just fine. I’m newly back from the dead, I’m a Slayer, I’m dating a vampire, I have no money, and my best friend is psycho loony who just tried to kill everyone. I’m lovin’ life.” She said sarcastically.

He sighed and pulled her back down on the bed with him again. She snuggled into his chest, seeking comfort that she knew he couldn’t really provide. He tried to stop himself, but he couldn’t. He started laughing. She looked up at him.

“What are you laughing at? None of this is funny.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Pet. It’s just…Damn, your life sucks.” He chuckled as he shook his head.

She glared at him and then her look softened. She couldn’t help it either, and she started laughing too. Her life sounded so ridiculous that she just had to laugh. Because if she didn’t, she’d start weeping uncontrollably and never be able to stop.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Willow ran down the street crying. She didn’t know where she was even going. It felt like her entire world had just fallen to pieces around her. She had lost the use of her powers, she lost her amulet, and all of her friends. She had nothing left.

Somehow her feet carried her to the Magic Box. She didn’t have her key, so she just broke the front window to get in. She ran up the ladder to the loft where all of the powerful magic books were kept. She ripped them off the shelves and began flipping the pages desperately. She was trying to find some way to reverse the binding spell that Tara had done. She knew deep down it was futile. No one could lift the spell except for the one who cast it. Still, she had to try.

Tara had a gut feeling that she knew where Willow would go. She stood out front of the magic shop and noticed the broken window. She let herself inside. She walked in and looked up to see Willow frantically turning pages in a book. She went over and climbed up the ladder.

“You know it won’t work.” She said softly.

“Get out of here! You ruined everything.” She yelled at Tara.

“Willow, you need help. Let me help you.”

“You want to help me? Give me back my powers!”

“No. That’s not the kind of help you need. Willow please. Talk to me.” She pleaded.

“There isn’t anything to talk about. It’s over. It’s all over. I’m nothing now.” Willow said breaking into tears.

“You’re not nothing. You’re Willow. You’re kind, and sweet, and loving—.”

“And weak and useless and boring.” Willow interrupted.

“Stop it. You aren’t.”

“I used to be important. I was powerful. Buffy said I was the ‘Big Guns’. Now, I’m nothing. Don’t you see? Magic was all I had. Before that, I was just a complete loser. Magic made me special. It made me important. You took that away from me. I thought you loved me.” Willow sobbed.

“I do love you. That’s why I did it. You were out of control, Willow. I know what you did to me. I know what you did to everyone else. It wasn’t right. It didn’t make you important. It made you desperate and scary and ugly.” Tara told her.

Willow looked up at her and shook her head sadly. She felt so lost and she didn’t know if she could ever find her way back again. Tara looked at her with love and concern. Willow wasn’t sure how Tara could even look at her now, after knowing what she’d done to her. She began to cry harder.

“Oh Tara… I just wanted to feel special. Important…I just wanted to make things good again for everyone. But nothing was working out. Buffy didn’t want to be around me, Xander was always too busy, and you didn’t trust me anymore. Everything fell apart. Everything…”

Tara went to her and pulled her into her arms. Willow clutched her tightly and sobbed.

“Shh. It’ll be okay again. You just lost your way. But I found you. Remember when I was lost and you said you’d always find me? Well, now it was my turn.” She said stroking her hair softly.

“But I’m still lost…Everyone hates me. I did terrible things to them. And to you. I sent Anya away, I lied to Buffy. God, Tara…I took Buffy out of Heaven.” Willow choked out softly.

“What?”

“Buffy wasn’t in Hell, Tara. She was at peace. She was in Heaven. And I took her away from that. I didn’t save her.” She cried softly.

Tara was stunned at the news. She took a deep breath and looked down at Willow.

“You didn’t know. You thought you saved her. We all did.”

Willow pulled back and looked at Tara with remorse filled eyes.

“But I-I didn’t care. I should have tried to find out where Buffy was before I did the spell. But I didn’t, because I didn’t care. I just wanted her back. And I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. I wanted to prove that I had that kind of power.” She admitted shamefully.

Tara didn’t know quite what to say. Hearing Willow admit to that was painful and a little startling. She closed her eyes to try and stop the tears from flowing.

“You made some mistakes. Big ones. But it’s over now. You still have a chance to make things right again. But this time, you need to do it without magic.” Tara told her.

“How? How can I do that? No one will ever forgive me. I-I can’t even face them. I can never face them again.” She cried.

“You have to. You have to take responsibility for this. You can’t just hide away forever.”

“Yes I can.”

“No you can’t. Willow, these people love you. I love you.”

Willow looked up at her despairingly. She was full of shame.

“How can you love me? After what I did? How?”

“Because. I see your heart. It’s full of love and goodness. It was just clouded momentarily by darkness. But it’s free again. You’re free again. You can make it right again.” Tara assured her as she wiped the tears off of Willow’s cheeks.

“You really still love me? I mean, after what I did…We’re okay?” Willow asked.

Tara looked at her for a moment then lowered her gaze.

“No. We aren’t okay. What you did was inexcusable. But, I love you too much to leave you like this. You’re going to need a lot of help and support if you want to get yourself better again. I’ll be here for that. For you.”

Willow embraced Tara tightly and began to sob again. Tara held her and rocked her back and forth like a child. There weren’t any words left for either of them. They just held each other.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Xander jumped out of his car and raced into his apartment. He ran up the stairs to his front door. He fumbled with the lock and shoved the door open.

“Anya!” He called out as he raced through the living room to the bedroom.

He pushed open the door and saw Anya huddled on the bed. She looked frightened and totally confused.

“Anya!” Xander raced over to her put his arms around her.

“Xander?” She asked with a look of bewilderment on her face.

He grabbed her into his arms tightly.

“Oh god. I thought I’d lost you. Where did you go? Where were you?” He asked her.

“I-I don’t know. I can’t remember. It’s all blurry. But it was like I was stuck in quicksand somewhere. Xander, what happened?” She asked befuddled.

“It’s a long story. Are you alright? You’re not hurt are you?” He asked as he looked her over, searching for any harm done to her.

“I-I’m okay. Now that you’re here, I’m okay.” She whispered as she clutched him tightly.

“Do you remember anything?” He asked.

“Not really. I was sleeping, and then suddenly I woke up. I-I had this feeling that I needed to get out of here. I remember writing you a note, but I don’t know what it said. Then it was just blackness. Nothing. That’s all I remember.” She said shaking her head.

“You’re safe now. You’re back. It’s over.” He comforted her.

“Tell me what happened.”

He sighed and looked at her sadly. He sat next to her and began to tell the tale to a shocked, horrified and extremely pissed off Anya.

“She took over the store? She didn’t touch the money, did she?” Anya asked as Xander’s story began to take shape.

“An, your money is fine. Tara actually took over the store. Willow just pulled her strings.”

“But I thought you said Tara was all brain damaged or something. Willow let her run my store?” Anya asked unhappily.

“She wasn’t brain damaged. She was just weird and robotic. Trust me, I’m sure the store is fine.”

“This is just unacceptable. I can’t believe she put me in limbo just so she could take over the shop.”

“That’s not why she did it. I don’t think she even thought about the store until later. She did it because she was jealous and because she knew you were smart enough to figure out what she was up to.” He explained to her.

“You think that she thinks I’m smart?” Anya asked hopefully.

“You are smart, Babe.” He said giving her a kiss on the forehead.

“I am, aren’t I?” She said matter of factly.

Xander looked at her and smiled. She was still the same old Anya. He shook his head and pulled her to him.

“I missed you.”

“Xander, I love you. You should have known I’d never just leave you like that.” She told him seriously.

“I know. I feel like such a jerk. I should have figured it out sooner. I should have found a way to get you back sooner.” He said remorsefully.

“It’s okay. Maybe you were a little brain damaged too. But know this. If I ever decide to leave you, which I won’t. But if I do, It’s gonna be a big scene. Lots of yelling and crying and cursing. And remember that big bomb clock I told you about before? Well, it’ll be like that. And at the last second, you’ll stop it, and then I won’t leave. Because I don’t ever want to leave.” She rambled anxiously.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately.

“I love you, An.” He whispered to her.

“I love you too.”

He kissed her again and she whispered into his ear.

“I think we have a lot of time to make up for. I mean, how long was I gone?”

“Too long.”

“Well then we’d better start catching up.” She said kissing him forcefully as they reacquainted themselves again.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy and Spike lay in her bed now, holding each other. It was nearly morning now, but neither one of them had slept at all. Willow and Tara had not come back, and Buffy wasn’t sure that she wanted them to. At least Willow, anyway.

Xander had called and told them that Anya was back and was okay. Buffy had been relieved for them both. They had told her they were gonna head to the magic shop. Anya was eager to make sure that everything was as she left it and the money was safe. Buffy had laughed and told Xander that Anya definitely sounded like herself. Xander had then told her that they would stop by Buffy’s house after checking on the shop.

Now, Buffy lay in bed with Spike’s arms around her, staring at the wall. She felt completely overwhelmed. She had just had a showdown with her best friend who had gone evil and crazy. And she figured out that she was completely broke again. Once her manic laughter had stopped, it had left her head spinning. She tried to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes she saw Willow glaring at her. She heard the harsh words that Willow had spoken. Finally it was too much to take. She sat up.

“What’s wrong?” Spike asked.

“Besides everything?” She asked sarcastically.

He sighed.

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep?”

“I can’t. I-I think I’m gonna go downstairs and make some coffee. Its almost morning anyway. Xander and Anya will probably be here soon.”

“Do you want me to head home?”

“No. Stay. I’ll go pull all the drapes. I don’t want you turning Cajun style on me again.” She said with a small smile.

He chuckled.

“Yeah, that wasn’t very pleasant.”

She leaned over and kissed him quickly. Then she got up and pulled her robe on. She headed downstairs. She pulled the living room drapes closed and moved through the house doing the same. Then she walked into the kitchen to make her coffee.

She heard the front door open quietly. She felt her heart leap into her throat. She knew that Willow and Tara must be home now. She put the coffee filters down and walked into the living room.

Willow and Tara were standing in the front entry way. Buffy crossed her arms and looked at them.

“You’re back.”

Willow looked at her shamefully.

“Yeah. I-I’m just going to get my stuff and go.” She muttered as she lowered her gaze.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. M-my parents. I called them and told them I needed to come home for a little while.”

“Good.” Buffy said continuing to give Willow an emotionless stare.

“I’ll go get your bags. You and Buffy should talk.” Tara said putting her hand on Willow’s shoulder.

“I don’t really have anything to say to her.” Buffy said trying to push back her tears.

Tara looked at Buffy sympathetically.

“Just hear her out. Please?”

Buffy sighed and walked over to the couch. She sat down, but would not look at Willow. Tara turned and walked up the stairs quietly. Willow walked over to where Buffy was sitting. She stood before her.

“Buffy…I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.”

“Neither do I.”

“I never meant for any of this to happen. I-I just wanted things to be better. I just wanted everyone to be happy.”

“How? By messing up all of our lives? How is that better?” Buffy snapped, no longer able to contain her anger.

“I’m sorry. It was never meant to be that way. I swear.” Willow pleaded.

Buffy only glared at her. She was so hurt and angry that she didn’t know what to say. She got up and moved past Willow. She walked up the stairs and disappeared. Willow sat on the couch and began to cry softly to herself.

Buffy walked back into the bedroom. Spike was pulling his shirt on. He looked over at her.

“Someone here? I heard voices.”

“Willow and Tara.”

“How’s that working out?” He asked curiously.

“It’s not. She’s leaving. She’s going back to her parents house.”

“Oh. Good. That’s probably for the best.”

“God Spike…How can I do this? I can’t even look at her.”

“I know. It’s not going to be easy or quick, that’s for sure. But don’t give up on her.”

“How can you say that? She totally tried to mess up our lives. She tried to kill you. How can you tell me not to give up on her? Aren’t you pissed?” She asked confused.

“Hell yeah, I’m pissed. She set me on fire, for God’s sake. But, you’ve tried to kill me too. And I’ve tried to kill all of you. I can’t throw stones. But do I like her anymore? No. I don’t. Not right now. But maybe someday I will again. Maybe you will too.” He said sincerely.

“It’s just too hard.”

“I know.”

Buffy heard the doorbell ring and she sighed. She went downstairs to answer it. Spike followed her. They saw Willow sitting on the couch numbly, with tears in her eyes. She didn’t look up when they entered the room. Buffy opened the front door.

Xander and Anya stood outside. Buffy motioned them in.

“She’s not here, is she?” Xander asked Buffy.

Buffy pointed behind him and they saw Willow sitting on the couch. His expression fell. Anya marched over to her and pointed her finger in her face.

“You! You are an evil, scary, messed up bitch.” Anya said angrily.

Willow began to cry harder and Xander went over and pulled Anya away.

“Calm down, Anya. It’s not going to help.” He said quietly.

“Well, it helps me. I’m very angry right now, and I need to lash out.”

“I know. We’re all angry right now. And confused.” He looked at Willow. “What happened to you, huh? Why’d you do it?” He asked her.

She looked up at him sadly.

“I-I don’t know. But I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

“Well you did. You hurt all of us.” His jaw was clenched with raw emotion and anger.

“I know.”

“And did you know that there is a broken window at the Magic Box? I suppose that’s your handiwork as well. You do realize that you’re gonna have to pay for that, don’t you?” Anya asked her.

“Yes. I will pay for it.”

“Good.” Anya crossed her arms satisfactorily.

Tara walked down the stairs clutching two suitcases. She put them down on the landing when she saw that everyone was in the living room. She walked in and went over to Willow.

“Are you alright?” She asked.

Willow shook her head no.

“Why are you asking if she’s alright? We’re the ones that are suffering here.” Anya asked irritated.

“Guys, she’s hurting too. I know that everyone is angry. And you should be. I’m angry too. But I love Willow, and I want her to get better. She can’t get better if we all shut her out.” Tara pleaded with them.

No one said a word. They all just shifted uncomfortably. Finally Willow stood to her feet and faced them all. She took a deep breath.

“I-I know that you all hate me. And I don’t blame you. I kinda hate me too right now. But please just listen to me. Let me try to explain.”

“Go ahead.” Buffy said calmly. She figured she should at least hear her out.

“I never meant to hurt any of you. I swear.”

“What about Spike? You tried to kill him. You set him on fire.” Buffy said crossing her arms.

“Okay, I-I did try to hurt Spike. I admit that. B-but he’s a vampire. I didn’t think it was that wrong.” She said softly.

“Just because he’s a vampire doesn’t mean it isn’t wrong. I loved him. You knew that and you still tried to kill him. But what’s worse is you tried to get me to kill him first. Did you ever stop and think about what that would do to me? Especially when everything you told me was a lie.” Buffy said with tears in her eyes.

“No. I-I didn’t. That’s the problem. I didn’t think about any of this. I was consumed by this feeling. I can’t describe it. I just knew what I wanted and I knew I’d do anything to make it happen.”

“What is it that you wanted anyway?” Xander asked her.

She turned to face him.

“I just wanted things to be like they were before. I wanted Buffy back with us. I couldn’t accept that she had died. That’s why I brought her back. I just couldn’t accept it. And then when she came back, things still weren’t the same as before. Nothing was turning out right. That’s when I just lost it I guess.”

“You lost it alright.” Anya muttered under her breath.

“I don’t know if any of you can ever forgive me. I probably don’t deserve it, but I’m asking anyway. I love you all and I never wanted to cause any pain. I started out with the best intentions. Then I got the amulet, and things just sort of spun out of control. I had this feeling like I could do anything. That I was important and powerful. I don’t know how it happened, but I just lost sight of everything.”

She then turned to Anya.

“Anya, you and I never got along, and now I’m pretty sure we never will. But I’m sorry that I sent you away. It was horrible and wrong and I’m sorry.”

“Damn right it was wrong. And I for one will not forgive you.” Anya crossed her arms angrily.

Willow hung her head down, then looked at Xander.

“And Xander, I’m sorry that I made you think Anya didn’t love you. And I’m sorry I put you to sleep.”

He only looked at her and said nothing. He didn’t have any words. She looked at Spike.

“Spike. You were right. You told me that I would get what was coming to me, and you were right. I can’t say that I never meant to hurt you, because I did. But I’m sorry that I did. You were the first person who actually tried to open my eyes and show me that what I was doing was wrong. Which is kinda strange coming from you. But still, I’m sorry.”

He looked at her and nodded his head.

“Next time you feel like setting me on fire, make sure I actually deserve it.” He told her.

She gave him a half smile.

“Okay.”

Spike was the one person who should hate her unconditionally. They weren’t friends, and he was a vampire. He was a creature that was supposed to be filled with evil. She expected him to say all the horrible things she knew everyone else was thinking. But he didn’t. She felt terrible for underestimating how decent he could be. It also hurt her deeply that she had been far more cold and unfeeling than Spike had ever been. He had no soul, and yet she had even surpassed him with her cold heartedness.

She then looked at Buffy. The one person she had really and truly destroyed. Willow had loved her so much and somehow that love and concern had turned into the worst kind of betrayal. She walked over to her.

“Buffy, I don’t even know where to begin. I-I really screwed up. I took away your peace and brought you here against your will. I wanted to believe that I saved you. All those times that you saved me…I just wanted to be the hero for once. But I ended up being the villain. Sorry can’t even begin to encompass everything that I’m feeling right now about what I did to you.”

Buffy just stared at her. She didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t sure she would ever know what to say. Willow lowered her head and continued speaking.

“And what I did with you and Spike? I’m so sorry. I really never understood how much you actually cared about him. I just thought you were confused and lonely. And though it seems really, really wrong now, I did think that I was helping you. I-I know it’s crazy. But I really believed that.”

“I know you did. I know you believed a lot of things. But what you did was so wrong…”

“I know…Can you forgive me?” She choked out as tears ran down her face.

Buffy looked at her and fought back her own tears. She took a deep breath.

“No. I can’t.” Willow lowered her head shamefully. Buffy continued to speak. “I can’t forgive you right now. But maybe someday I will. You were my best friend, Willow. I loved you. I still do. But so much has happened… I’m not there yet. But I might get there. It’s just going to take some time.”

Willow looked at her and smiled slightly through her tears. She went over and hugged Buffy tightly. Buffy stood there woodenly for a moment. Then she sighed and returned Willow’s embrace.

“I will make this up to you.” She said pulling away from her. Then she looked at everyone else. “I swear, I will make this up to all of you.”

“That might be hard.” Xander told her seriously.

“I know. But whatever you guys want, I’ll do it. However I can prove myself, I will. Just please, give me a chance to make this right again.” She implored them.

Xander walked over and looked at Willow. They had been friends for almost their entire lives. He loved her like she was a sister. He was still bitter and confused about everything that had happened. He wasn’t sure he could get past all of that and trust her again. But he was willing to try. He had to at least try. He moved forward and hugged her tightly.

Just then the front door opened again and Dawn came walking in. She saw everyone standing around looking somber and stressed out. She put her bags down and walked into the living room.

“Hey guys. I’m home. Did I miss anything while I was gone?” She asked innocently.

Everyone turned and looked at her blankly.

“You’re back awfully early.” Buffy said noticing the time.

“I know. Carrie’s dad got called back to work, so we had to leave. Is everything okay?” She asked curiously.

“Yeah. Everything’s cool.” Buffy said trying to act casually.

Dawn looked around the room and saw Spike standing there.

“Spike? Buffy, did you know Spike was here?” She asked curiously.

“Oh, yeah. It’s okay. He’s cool again.”

“Actually, I never stopped being cool.” He corrected her with a smirk.

“So, you aren’t here to kill us all?”

Spike shrugged.

“Nah.”

Dawn shook her head in confusion. Then she looked over and saw Anya standing next to Xander.

“Anya? You’re back from…wherever it is you went.” Dawn said completely perplexed.

“Yes. I’m back.”

“O-kay. This is like the Twilight Zone or something. I feel like I just watched a movie and the plot went totally over my head. What’s going on?”

Buffy walked over to her and put her arm around her.

“Let’s go eat some ice cream Dawnie, and I’ll tell you everything.” Buffy sighed.

“But it’s 7:00 in the morning. Isn’t that a little early for ice cream?”

“Trust me. We’ll need it.”

“Yeah, uh, Anya and I have to go anyway. We need to get that window fixed and get the shop open.” Xander said putting his arm around Anya.

“And I’m going to take Willow home.” Tara said.

“What? You’re leaving? You aren’t staying here anymore?” Dawn asked.

“No Dawnie. I’m not. Buffy will tell you everything.” She said softly.

Dawn looked at Buffy quizzically and Buffy lowered her gaze.

“Take care of yourself Willow.” She said softly.

“I will. Buffy…Are we okay now?”

“We will be. Just get some rest, and get better. Then we’ll talk.”

“Okay.”

Tara put her arm around Willow’s shoulder and led her to the suitcases. They picked them up and headed out. Xander and Anya followed behind them. Once they were all gone, Buffy turned to Spike and Dawn.

She put her arms around both of them.

“Let’s get that ice cream now.” She said with a small smile.

They all walked into the kitchen together.

“Do you have chocolate, or just that cookie dough stuff that you like so much?” Spike asked.

“I have both.” She smiled.

She went to the freezer and pulled out the cartons of ice cream. She got out three spoons and they all sat down at the table. Dawn looked at both of them.

“Okay. Ice cream for breakfast? This really must be something serious.”

“It is. But it’s okay, Dawn. We’ll get through it. We always do.” She smiled.

Buffy knew that nothing was ever going to be the same. Her life was in total disarray once again. But she still had one thing. She still had love. She had Spike and Dawn and her friends. She still included Willow among them, even though it didn’t feel like it now. She loved them all, and they loved her. Somehow they could all find a way to get through this.

Life was never easy. Especially her life. But as Spike said, if it was easy, it would be awfully boring. There were some definite hard times lying ahead for her and all of them. But if anyone could find a way to get through it, it would be them.

They’d weathered death and destruction and apocalypses together. They’d fought master vampires, huge monster demon snakes, and a Hellgod. There was nothing they couldn’t overcome. It wasn’t going to be easy. It would take a lot of time. But they would do it. Through thick and thin. Until the end of the world. No matter what, they would find a way to get through it together.

THE END~