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"Soon as the sun’s down I’ll head back to LA" said Angel breaking the silence that had descended on the living room. He sat in an armchair, feeling distinctly like the odd one out as the Summer’s sisters sat either side of Spike on the couch. The new human’s recovery from pneumonia was being helped on it’s way out by the blanket around his shoulders and more importantly by a mug of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows in it. Spike smiled as he remembered drinking the same drink with Joyce just last year, so much had changed since then...
"I guess, when the sun goes down, I should patrol?" Dawn said a little uncertainly.
"No" Buffy answered like a reflex, before realising her mistake, "I mean, yes...but I think the gang should go with"
"Why?" her sister wanted to know.
"Cos we don’t want anything nasty happening to you, Little Bit" Spike answered for his love, who he knew was feeling completely bewildered by everything that had happened and was still happening.
"I know" Dawn conceded, "And I love it that you care" she smiled, "but I’m the Slayer now..." she paused and giggled at her own words, "God, it sounds so weird saying that"
‘Not as weird for you to say as it is for me to hear’ Buffy thought to herself. She should be glad she was normal now but...there were tears in her eyes and a tremble in her voice when she said;
"I should go and..." that was as far as she got as she got up and practically ran to the kitchen.
"I’ll go after her..." Angel started but Spike protested.
"No, not you" he snapped.
"Spike" the brunette sighed "I know she’s yours now but you’re not well..."
"I know" the bleach blond snapped again, he couldn’t help himself "I didn’t mean me, let the Bit go," he tipped his head toward the girl "Summers sisters need some alone time"
Angel nodded in agreement and both the vampire and his ex-grand-childe looked over at Dawn as she realised they were right and went after her sister.
The ex-Slayer was seated on a stool by the counter, her face in her hands as she sobbed, not really sure what it was she was crying for, but even less certain of when she’d ever stop.
"Buffy?" Dawn asked cautiously approaching her sister. Buffy’s head snapped up and she scrubbed her tears away with the back of her hands. Sniffing loudly and swallowing hard, she painted on a fake smile.
"I’m fine" she lied "they’re just happy tears, really"
"Buffy" Dawn sighed sitting beside her "I’m your sister and I know you, you can’t lie to me"
Buffy’s face cracked, the smile disintegrated and tears poured forth once more.
"I’m sorry" she sobbed "I want to be happy for you and for myself but..."
"It’s hard?" Dawn guessed and her sister nodded "Buffy, I understand" the younger girl assured her, rubbing a hand on her back to calm her crying "it’s freaky for me too. I didn’t ask for this to happen, and okay I know you never asked to be the Slayer either, but you were the Chosen One, this was your destiny and as much as I was jealous, and sometime wished I had your strengths..." there was a pause as Dawn frowned "now I have them, I don’t want them anymore" tears formed in her eyes too and threatened to spill over onto her cheeks at any moments "I’m afraid of myself, Buffy, I’m so afraid"
"Oh Dawnie..." her older sister sighed, moving to hug her sister. The Summers sisters held each other, afraid and confused and not knowing what else to do except hold each other in comfort.
In the next room, there was an uncomfortable silence as both Angel and Spike waited for the girls to return, both worried about them so much.
"Think they’re okay in there?" the vampire asked suddenly.
"I don’t know..." Spike mumbled "hell of a shock for the pair of ‘em"
"Think one of us should check on them?" the great souled one asked causing a sigh from Spike.
"I would but...God I can’t bear to see either of them cry" he admitted.
"I know..." Angel nodded, "when it’s someone you love, it...it just tears you apart" he remembered times when he was with Buffy, to see her cry, it was more painful than anything he’d ever endured as a man or a demon, with soul or without.
With that the room returned to silence, uncomfortable as ever, but maybe a little easier, with both men knowing the other was thinking the same thing.
"What does Spike think?" Dawn asked, as the girls parted from their hug, no tears left to cry "About you not being the Slayer anymore?"
"He says it doesn’t change anything" Buffy had to smile as she thought of him "that he still loves me and I believe that. I still love him, I loved him when he was a vampire" she admitted "even if I did have trouble saying it, and I love him as a human..." she paused before putting it the best way she could think of "it’s not about what we are, it’s about who we are, I guess"
"Right" her sister nodded "I’m still Dawn and you’re still Buffy, it’s just..."
"No" Buffy realised for all her wisdom and strength she appeared to have, it wasn’t all okay "but it isn’t, because I’m not..." she said, her voice wavering again "I was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it became *who* I was as well as *what* I was, if I’m not the Slayer...what am I? I don’t know how to be anything or anyone else" she realised almost in tears all over again.
"It’s okay Buffy..." Dawn tried to comfort her. With a sudden thought she added "maybe we can fix it"
"How?" the ex-Slayer looked dubious.
"A spell or something" the brunette suggested "we could swap the power back to you"
Buffy seemed to consider the idea before sighing in defeat.
"But the prophecy..." she started.
"Shouldn’t be a problem" said a voice form the door.
"Angel..." Buffy realised, it seemed the vamps decision from earlier had been changed and he had run the risk of being pained by the sight of the Summer sisters in distress - he had to know what was going on.
"You’ve beaten prophecies before Buffy" he told his ex-girlfriend as he came into the room "I’ve seen it. Prophecy said the Master would rise after the Harvest but you stopped it" he remembered "and then it said you’d die fighting him and...you did" he admitted, "but you’re here now" Buffy’s expression changed, a look of hope forming on her features, her head nodding in agreement at what Angel was telling her "what’s to say this prophecy was true but there’s more to it than that, like now the task is accomplished the magicks can be undone"
Dawn looked a little lost and both girls were overwhelmed by the idea, nevermind the vocabulary.
"What the stupid poofter means, luvs" said a shaky looking Spike who’d just appeared in the doorway "is that now the stuff has happened and served its purpose we can change it back, like you said, no trouble at all"
"I guess it’s possible..." Buffy said slowly "but what was the big purpose of Dawn having the Slayer strength and everything, even for a little while?" she said, making a face again.
That made everyone think, but with her borrowed extra-smart Slayer brains, Dawn herself came up with the answer.
"There was no-one else to do it" she announced.
"Do what, pet?" Spike prompted, taking a seat beside her, scared he might fall down if he didn’t sit.
"Slay" Dawn told him, simply, "Buffy was a total mess when you weren’t here and with the real Slayer and her best fighter out of the picture..."
"...the Powers That Be had to make sure there was someone to fight the evil around here" Angel completed for her.
"Exactly" Dawn nodded with a satisfied grin that she’d figured out something useful for a change.
"Makes sense" Buffy agreed.
"So now I’m back" Spike started "and Buffy’s back to her old self, more or less, should be a simple switch back" he shrugged "Sure the Wiccas, the demon girl and the Watcher, can knock up some hocus pocus that’ll do the job. They mojo-ed me back from the grave as a bloody living breathe-er again, this should be childs play for them"
"We’ll ask tomorrow" Buffy yawned, "Right now I think we need to rest" she said, gesturing to herself and Dawn, before looking pointedly at Spike, "and you should be in bed"
"Lead the way, baby, I won’t argue" he smirked.
"Gross" Dawn pretended to vomit in true teenage fashion, causing both Buffy and Spike to shoot her a look.
Angel only smiled. He’d been such a fool. He’d always thought he knew what was best for Buffy Summers and he’d got it so wrong. A normal life - that’s what he wished for her, a normal guy, a regular job, everything ordinary, but it was never going to happen, and she would never be happy if it did.
She was an extraordinary girl, and now an extraordinary woman, with an equally incredible man who had lived, died, unlived, died again and risen again -Spike was just as extraordinary as the woman he loved. Their life would never be normal, Angel knew that as he said goodbye and headed out into the rapidly increasing darkness of the night, but the one thing he did know was that they would be happy.
"You really want to find a spell, don’t you luv" Spike asked the girl laying in his arms as his fingers played absently with her blonde locks. Buffy didn’t answer.
"You like to slay" he continued in her silence, "you were born to do it...I can understand that"
"You can?" Buffy said suddenly bringing her head up from his chest to look him in the eye, "You don’t think I’m selfish or crazy or anything?"
Spike smiled at the innocent little girl he saw before him. Sometimes it astounded him how one moment she was such a mature, strong woman, and the next, she was just a child who needed hugs and reassurance that everything would turn out okay.
"Buffy, luv" he sighed, turning on his side to face her "like I told you before, I love you, and there are no conditions on that. I loved you when I was a demon, a vampire, and I love you now as a human. I love you when you’re the Slayer and when you’re not and I will go on loving you for as long as I live and longer because I don’t know how to do anything else" he finished with a smile and was not entirely pleasantly surprised to see tears on his love’s face "Hey, you’re not supposed to cry" he complained, wiping away the droplets with his fingers.
"That’s probably the most beautiful speech anyone’s ever said to me" Buffy said quietly, blinking hard to keep back more tears, true happy tears this time.
"I meant every word, luv" Spike assured her, his voice softer than ever before.
"I know" Buffy smiled "and that’s what makes it so much more special"
the last few words were a whisper as the couple moved closer together. Their arms around each other and their lips locked tighter, they were lost for a while, just drowning in each other and the feelings they shared. But it was over all to fast as they both needed to breath and Spike began to choke again.
"Damn this pneumonia" he complained "Recovery’s going well and all but, God I don’t have the strength for what I really want to do right now"
Buffy tried hard not to laugh at his distress, but at least her giggles covered her slight disappointment.
"It’s okay Spike" she assured him, snuggling into his arms as he became still and quiet again "we don’t have to do that. We have all the time in the world, and just having you here, holding me, loving me, that’s more than enough" she told him sincerely "...for now" she added quietly, but he heard anyway, as they drifted off to sleep, content just to be in each others arms..for now, anyway.