After The Show
Fanfiction
-My Fics
-Collaborations
-Other Buffy/Spike Fics
-Series
-Challenges
-Non Buffy/Spike Fics
History
Links
Link to Me
Updates
Awards Won
Back to Main
E-mail Hilary
Stupid responsibilities, she grumbled silently. With a shake of her head, she forced herself to think about all the things she needed to do.
She walked into the kitchen to find the Potentials (plus Dawn) sitting around, eating, gossiping, and making a mess.
They quieted down as they saw the Slayer. Her sister stood up to greet her. “Hey Buffy, whatcha doin’ home so late?”
Buffy groaned. “Principal Wood. Wanted to talk to me. Man, that guy’s weird. Either he’s evil, or insane, or... or something.” She abruptly changed the subject, not wishing to discuss her weird meeting with the Principal. “So what did you girls do today?” Buffy asked, turning to the Potentials.
Kennedy (whom Buffy had already discovered tended to be rather bossy and take-chargey) spoke up. “We trained for a while with Spike, but he’s still pretty beat up from the First torturing him.”
The girls shifted uncomfortably. Buffy couldn’t decide whether this was due to the fact that Spike was an incredibly strong, formerly evil, vampire- or the reminder that the First had beaten up this inhumanly strong being.
“All right, well, you girls up for some real fighting tonight?”
Buffy was hoping for a rousing chorus of yes’es; instead, she got a few murmured ‘yeah’s, a couple really quiet ‘no’s’ and a loud ‘I’m ready,’ from Kennedy.
Great. Just great. Girls who could (potentially) have to save the world are a bunch of wimps. Well, Kennedy’s not a wimp, just overconfident. Maybe Willow can keep her ego under control. Speaking of which...
“Hey, where’s Willow?”
Dawn replied, “I think she and Connor are talking somewhere about some of his experiences or something.”
The girls giggled at the mention of Connor’s name. Buffy personally didn’t see the appeal, but then again, maybe she was just weirded out by the fact that she had dated his father.
Dawn added, “I think Spike’s downstairs.”
Buffy nodded her thanks and headed down after admonishing the girls to clean up after themselves, and reminding Dawn to do her homework. Poor Dawn... having her house invaded, dealing with high school on the Hellmouth, an apocalypse...
She sighed. Thinking of the high school had reminded her of a girl she’d dealt with today. The girl’s problems had struck a little too close to home. The girl, Amy, had lost several people she’d loved. About a year ago she lost her parents, whom she’d been very close to, and had to move in with her grandmother.
After her parent’s deaths, she became incredibly dependent on her boyfriend Ron, in an unhealthy way. From what Buffy heard, Ron was an OK guy, and really did love Amy. However, he encouraged her dependence on him rather than urging her to seek therapy since he didn’t want to lose her.
How their slightly twisted relationship would have ended was a mystery, never to be solved. Ron had gotten drunk one night, and drove smack into a train.
Amy had been very bright, getting very good grades and participating in many extra-curriculars. After her parents died, she cut back on the extra-curriculars, but still managed to keep up her grades. She’d been hoping for a scholarship to U.C. Sunnydale.
But since Ron’s death two months ago, Amy had all but dropped out of life. Her grandmother had managed to get her to go to school occasionally, but she did no work. She was about as close to being in a catatonic state as you can get without actually being in one. She moved, she ate, she breathed, but she didn’t live.
Not surprisingly, Buffy had been unable to reach her. But Amy’s case had given the school counselor much to think about. She’d lost her dad, Angel, Riley, her mom, and Tara. She’d survived most of those with the help and support of her friends. When she’d killed Angel, she dealt with it by going to hell, but had crossed out that method of recovery for the future.
The time she’d thought she’d lost Dawn, she’d shut down so completely that Willow had to enter her mind and find her.
With this new apocalypse shaping up to be the worst yet, she knew she might lose more of her friends. Yet she also knew that she, as General Buffy, could not afford to shut down or run away again.
So in the free time she had between talking to students, Buffy thought. She thought about the past, she thought about her friends, family, and lovers she’d lost, she thought about the future, she thought about it all.
After all her thinking, she came to one simple conclusion: she couldn’t allow herself to be emotionally close with anyone. It was a thought that had occurred to her the night before with Spike. It had felt way too good to sleep at his side. She decided he was going to sleep in the basement from now on.
And it looked like perhaps he’d already anticipated her request. He understood her like no other. It was really quite nice, having someone around who understood her- No! Not nice. Thinking Spike’s understanding me is nice leads to bad, emotional stuff. So, no, not nice. Huh-uh. Nope. I don’t want to be understood...
Her silent, internal diatribe against herself continued as she made her way down the stairs, towards the vampire who understood her- which was totally not a good thing...